


The Gardens of Babylon

by Nicolle_Midnight



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-17 20:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 73,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/871480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicolle_Midnight/pseuds/Nicolle_Midnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story follows the lives of Brian and Justin four years after Episode 513.</p><p> </p><p>Brian and Justin are separated, but the love between the two has not been forgotten.  After finding success as a painter, Justin is back in Pittsburgh to be closer to his family and friends. Despite the love and the sexual tension between him and Brian, Justin decides to live his life without the presence of his great love, but a threat from the past returns, changing their plans.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Predec2, for the translation work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Adeus, Nova York!

**Author's Note:**

> After being away for four years, Justin returns to Pittsburgh to resume his life without Brian.

The rainy Monday morning seemed just like any other morning at the Liberty Diner. Hunter, who was sitting with his parents, Ben and Michael, was still refusing to further his education after obtaining his Bachelor's Degree in Education, stating that he needed more time to 'find himself' before going back to school, while Ted and Blake were raving about what must have been the hundredth time they had seen La Traviata at the Pittsburgh Opera House. Emmett, sitting with Blake and Ted, was rambling on about some upcoming, high-society wedding in Pittsburgh that he was catering and how he needed to find trained swans that could form a heart with their necks for the bride and groom's ceremony, a statement that drew nary a surprised glance from his friends. After all, it WAS Emmett who was talking. Yes, it was a typical Monday morning at the Diner. 

 

Debbie walked up, pencil and pad in hand, to take their orders. "So, what'll be, Boys?" she asked as she gave the pencil tip a small lick with her tongue, her hand poised over the paper. She eyed the familiar group sitting in two adjacent booths as she ticked off, "Let's see. Vegetarian wrap for Ben, burger and fries for my grandson, chicken tender basket for Emmett, tuna sandwich with mayo and white bread for Teddy, the meatloaf Pink Plate Special for Blake, a super burger for my son, and Cokes all around. Did I forget anything?" she asked with a knowing smirk as she finished writing up the orders. 

 

"Yeah," Brian said as he walked up to join the group. "Coffee..."

 

"One black coffee with five pounds of sugar in it for Mr. Fabulous," Debbie said with a snicker as she wrote it down. "Got it." 

 

The group chuckled as she turned and headed toward the kitchen pass-through to record the order. 

 

Brian slid in besides Hunter, who was sitting across from Ben and Michael. "Where have you been?" Michael asked him curiously. "We haven't heard from you in days." 

 

Brian reached over to play with his stainless steel knife and fork as he told them, "I was on a sexy, spiritual retreat." He could hear Hunter snickering beside him as he looked over at Ben. "I'm sure the Professor has been on some of those; retreats, I mean," he clarified with a smirk. "Something tells me that mine weren't quite as puritanical as Zen Ben's, though. I don't think you pseudo Stepford Fags would understand the benefits of my type of retreat." 

 

Ben smiled. "Oh, we're not as 'puritanical' as you might think, Brian," he told him as he turned to give Michael a kiss. Michael, recalling their little romp against the kitchen sink yesterday morning, promptly turned beet red as Brian lifted an eyebrow in curiosity. 

 

"Oh, I'm sure you both have some wild and crazy nights alone, now that your foundling isn't there to supervise your activities. Scrabble? Crossword puzzles? Ooh...or maybe some strip poker." He chortled. "Pathetic."

 

A quiet voice behind Brian interjected, "If I remember correctly, about four years ago YOU were living a life that could have been called pathetic." Before he could quite finish his sentence, however, Ted immediately realized what a big mistake he had made as everyone but Brian turned to him with a horrified sort of expression on their face; Brian merely glared back at him in reaction. "Oops," he said with a smile. Brian, deciding Ted was too far down the evolutionary chain to really care about his lame commentary, simply decided to ignore him.

 

Debbie soon returned with their orders, glancing out the window to notice the sun now shining instead. As she placed all of their plates down in front of them, she quietly commented, "You all know what day Friday, is, don't you?"

 

Brian averted his eyes downward as Michael responded, "How could anyone forget? It was four years ago to the day that Babylon was bombed. No one's EVER going to forget about that anniversary." 

 

As Debbie put Ben's vegetarian wrap down in front of him, she reached over to lightly ruffle her son's hair. "My heart still hurts just thinking about what might have happened to you, Michael," she told him softly, for once all of her bluster and bravado gone. "That was the hardest thing I ever had to go through in my life," she told him.

"Me, too," Ben whispered softly to his husband as he reached over to clasp Michael's hand on top of the table. 

 

"Well, I for one am going to do something to help make sure something like that never happens again, and to help the survivors," Emmett informed them. "The Gay and Lesbian Center is sponsoring a charity event with all the proceeds going to the victims' families, and they have put ME in charge of organizing it, which means that it will be fabuloso and positively deeee-vine. Even Mel and Lindsay have volunteered to come down and help with it, along with a lot of the members from the center."

 

"I think that's great, Emmett!" Ben told their friend with a smile. "We wanted to help, too. My next book will have all of the proceeds going to the Survivors' Fund, and Michael's new book about his experience and gay America's struggle for equal civil rights will be dedicated to the victims as well as to the survivors. And Michael was telling me about Rage Issue #50."

 

Michael nodded excitedly. "Yeah, Kevin's worked up some amazing illustrations for the next issue. It's going to be about Zephyr's mission to rid the world of all homophobic hatred by spreading a mind-altering virus through the internet system." Kevin was Justin's replacement as illustrator, and while in Brian's viewpoint he wasn't nearly as creative or talented, he had proven to be an adequate if not enthusiastic co-collaborator with his best friend. 

 

"I offered to sing an aria at the benefit, and Blake's going to offer some free group counseling for people who are dependent on drugs, or who need information on AIDS or STDs," Ted said proudly as Blake reached over and kissed him on the cheek. 

 

Debbie nodded. "And PFLAG will be baking up all sorts of food and selling it a bake sale the night of the benefit to raise money." Everyone was quiet then as she looked over at Brian curiously, voicing the question that everyone else 

wanted to know. "And what about you, Brian? What are YOU going to do that day?" 

 

Brian glanced up and met Deb's gaze evenly. "I'm closing down Babylon that day, like I do every year after the attack. That's costing me a shit load of money, as well as stunting my sexual activity for the day. That's contribution enough." 

 

Debbie placed on hand on her hip. "So you're not going?" 

 

Brian snorted. "Why would I?" 

 

"Oh, I don't know," Debbie responded. "Maybe because it's the right thing to do to show support. Maybe because the entire gay community was affected. Maybe because your best friend was almost killed that night...or maybe because our own little Sunshine is donating one of his paintings to be auctioned off that night." She smiled as Brian lifted his head to stare over at her in surprise before a veil of inscrutability reappeared. Gotcha. She sighed. "Just imagine - our own little baby, becoming a well-known painter in the United States and Europe. Our Sunshine has moved up in the world, hasn't he?" 

 

Michael frowned. "Justin's here in Pittsburgh?" 

 

Debbie glanced over at Brian before she nodded. "He's staying with his mom for a while." 

 

Slowly everyone else turned to gaze over at Brian expectantly. 

 

"What are you looking at ME for?" he groused. "I haven't seen Justin in over two years, and you know it." He abruptly scooted out from the booth and stood up. "I've got work to do," he announced as he peered over at Ted. "And Theodore, I highly suggest you come with me if you want to continue to be employed after today." 

 

"Uh, right, Brian," Ted immediately responded, taking the hint as he gave Blake a quick smile before hurrying after his boss. Brian didn't get too far, however, before Debbie intervened.

 

"Just one minute!" she growled as all heads turned toward her. She walked over to Brian and waggled a finger in his face as she told him, "Listen to me. I've put up with your convoluted, on-and-off relationship with Justin for nine years now. Justin could have been seriously hurt that night, too - or worse; don't you forget that! And while you may have some misconceived notion in your head that you aren't worthy of being loved, Sunshine doesn't feel the same way. He finally has someone else now, so don't go fucking it up for him! I know you still love him. But if you're not willing to take a chance on love and make him happy, then let him find someone else who CAN!"

Brian hid his dismay over that revelation as he bestowed a long-suffering look on her and quipped, "Debbie, I prefer to take your advice when it comes accompanied by a tuna casserole and some weed." Debbie huffed in irritation as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. 

 

Debbie shook her head sadly. If only Brian would come to his senses, and realize that he WAS worthy of being loved just as much as Justin. "Asshole," she muttered before she gave him an affectionate, Debbie Novotny slap on the side of his face.

 

"Gotta run, Mother," Brian told her softly as he turned and exited the diner, feeling Debbie's stare following him out the door.

 

Once inside the safe confines of his 'Vette, Brian let out a deep breath, his heart heavier than he would ever care to admit. So Justin was back in Pittsburgh...And he wasn't alone. When Justin had left four years ago to head to New York, they had tried to make a go of it. It had been difficult to do, but in less than two weeks Brian had already been at the doorstep of Justin's cramped apartment that he shared somehow with three other friends of Daphne's. Justin had told him at the time that he had made a mistake coming to New York and wanted to come home; that he missed everyone terribly, especially him. But Brian had used all the arguments he had in his arsenal to convince Justin that he had to go after his dreams and not waste the tremendous opportunity that had been granted him, and it had worked. It was the first and last time that Justin had ever broached the subject. 

 

After that, there were several trips by plane and car between the Pitts and New York for almost two years. Justin continued to evolve as an artist, and his paintings were increasingly becoming more and more sought-after; so much so that he began to gain recognition throughout the United States. He obtained a well-respected agent to represent him, and managed to secure a place in several important art exhibitions to showcase his work. To his credit, Brian never missed one of Justin's art showings. Sometimes it involved masterful juggling of his schedule on Cynthia's part, but somehow he always managed to be there at Sunshine's side, and was consistently rewarded by a million-watt smile in return. Sunshine...Debbie had certainly made the right choice when she had come up with that nickname. 

 

There was no verbal agreement among them at the time regarding being monogamous when they had parted; that would have been both out of character, especially for Brian, and impractical. They had both went out with whomever they wanted to without apology, without any recrimination or blame; the only rule being that Brian would not take anyone back to Britin, the home that he had bought for the two of them to share. Despite Justin not being home for the time being, it was still the place where they had solidified their love for each other, and Brian just couldn't bear to think of selling it - or sharing it with anyone else, and neither could Justin.

 

After almost two years of living in New York, Justin had found an agent who agreed - somewhat reluctantly - to allow him to commute back and forth between New York City and Pittsburgh, coming back to the Big Apple or other areas when his presence was required for his art. His career was beginning to take off, both in the United States and internationally, but Justin needed the security, warmth and love that only his family - and Brian - could provide for him. So despite his agent's best efforts, he was adamant that he was ready to come back home and work from there. 

 

It was on a Friday that Justin arrived home; excited at a much-anticipated reunion with the man he loved. He couldn't wait to tell Brian that he was finally ready to come home. Wanting to surprise his lover, he hadn't told him in advance, deciding to drive back to the Pitts with only the barest of personal belongings, obtaining a promise from one of his roommates, Johnny, that he would make sure the rest of what he wanted to keep was sent to him. 

 

Upon arriving at the loft, he unlocked the door and entered, his heart thumping with eagerness. Only the loft was silent and there was no Brian to greet him. Being early evening, he decided to try and track down Brian at Babylon, running into Ted instead who told him that Brian wasn't there, either. Volunteering to call Brian for him - after Justin had secured his promise to keep his whereabouts a secret - he had been gifted with one of Brian's typical sarcastic comments: something about being out at Britin so he could meet with planners to put in a landing strip for his private jet. After receiving the standard threat of unemployment and bodily harm should he interrupt him again, Ted turned to Justin to tell him that at least he knew where he was now.

 

So, with newly-found confidence that he could convince Brian that he truly DID want to come home - and vowing that nothing he said would change his mind - Justin hopped in his car and drove straight out to Britin, arriving just before dark. Smiling in anticipation as he used his key to quietly open the massive, front door, he crept up the steps toward the master bedroom, seeing a dim light escaping into the hallway. His heart started to pound in excitement as he reached the door and then he stopped short, frozen in shock. 

 

Brian was there, all right. But he wasn't alone in bed. He was asleep; lying beside an attractive, dark-haired man who appeared to be approximately the same age as his partner. He couldn't deny that the man was beautiful; he was well-muscled and toned, very similar to a brunet version of Ben. As he stood there staring at the unimaginable, he couldn't help the moan of dismay that escaped his lips as the two men stirred in their sleep and turned to see who had made the noise. Brian's eyes widened in recognition, his face paling as he swallowed hard at the sight before him. His heart dropped as he saw the look of devastation and hurt on Justin's face as he turned around and rushed down the hallway toward the steps. 

 

"Go!" Matt, the other man wearily told Brian as he hurried out of bed and, taking just a couple of seconds to tug on his jeans lying on the floor, he ran out the door in an attempt to catch up with Justin.

 

He found him by his car, preparing to leave. A heated discussion ensued where no apology was forthcoming from Brian, who tried to explain that the long distance between them no longer worked for him. He told Justin that Matt was someone who, like him, had broken his 'one-fuck-only' rule, and that he had, in truth, seen him more than a few times now. He admitted to Justin that Matt had become more than just a casual fuck to him; and that he had every intention of telling him about the other man face-to-face the next time he saw him in New York.

 

At that moment, Justin's heart was shattered into a million pieces; unable to bear the pain of staying there any longer, he left without looking back as he jumped in the car and sped off, away from the man who he realized he had to forget in order to continue to move on with his life. 

 

Brian had stood there, watching the man he loved driving away and feeling miserable and stupid. He knew he was throwing away his only chance at happiness. He was pushing himself away from the great love of his life, but because he loved Justin so deeply he knew it was the only thing he could do. He knew it was just a matter of time before Justin decided enough was enough and he took it upon himself to come back home and be with him. Only if he truly convinced Justin that things were over between them would Justin be free to pursue his dreams. Justin had such great talent, an incredible talent. But he knew his lover would never leave him, not truly. Not unless he managed to sever their bonds once and for all. The hurt and pain etched on Justin's face was evidence that he had, indeed, succeeded. Why, then, did he feel so hollow as a result?

 

He thought of Matt, the man still upstairs, and he felt nothing for him. It had all been one, big lie to Justin. Matt was a good fuck, but he was a means to an end. He was a convenience, a way to finally drive a wedge between him and Justin. 

 

One day he hoped that Justin would realize that their breakup was inevitable anyway. Justin was so much younger than him; his passion and creativity for his art, along with his responsibilities, would surely have driven them apart if he hadn't set him free. He sighed deeply as he turned around and reentered the house that once held so much love and promise. 

 

Stopping in the library, he headed over to the wet bar to snatch the nearly-full bottle of Beam off the oval serving tray and slumped down into the nearest leather chair to begin his newest treatment of pain management.

 

Justin considered immediately returning to New York that day, but he ultimately decided not to. Despite his great despair, he wanted to understand what had just happened. Why, after telling him that he loved him and asking him to marry him, did Brian go and find another substitute and bring him to Britin of all places? He desperately wanted to wake up from what felt like a nightmare, and he urgently needed to talk to someone who would listen to him and help him understand what had just happened. For whatever reason, he didn't feel comfortable discussing this with his mother - wondering if she would finally decide her initial skepticism about Brian's intentions toward him had been warranted - and Daphne was far way in Philadelphia, extremely busy with her medical residency. That left only one other possible person who could help explain why Brian had done what he did: Debbie. 

 

As he drove back toward Pittsburgh, his mind was awash with all sorts of questions. Just who was this Matt person? Why had no one told him about him and warned him? He could understand Brian fucking other guys - if he didn't, he wouldn't be Brian after all - but up until now he had been the only one Brian had fucked more than once, the only one he had brought back with him to Britin. That had been their special place, THEIR place. Up until now, too, Brian had never broken a promise to him. Knowing that he had - and that he was no longer the one exception to all of Brian's rules, the one, unique man who had made Brian do things that he had never done with anyone else before - made his heart ache deeply. He felt like the ground had been snatched out from under him, and for the first time since Justin had fallen in love with Brian that night under the lamppost, he started to fear that the love he had shared with Brian would not endure.

 

Justin did seek out Debbie; he stayed with her for 15 days as she, Carl, and Emmett shielded him from the prying, concerned eyes of his other friends. He eventually determined that no one seemed to know much about Matt, other than he was a client of Brian's who frequented Liberty Avenue. They claimed they had had no idea that he and Brian were personally involved with each other. 

 

During the entire time he was staying with Debbie, Brian never once sought him out or came to see him. Unbeknownst to Justin, Debbie, Michael, Emmett, and Ted had confronted Brian one day at the diner a few days later, telling him in no uncertain terms that he was making a big mistake in letting Justin go. Brian wouldn't listen to them, though; he stuck obstinately to his old 'no excuses, no regrets' motto and refused to budge. 

 

Soon afterward, heartbroken and disillusioned, Justin returned to New York, eventually moving into his own apartment and changing his phone number, effectively cutting off all further contact with Brian. And a month later, he embarked on a trip to Europe to promote his art, deciding it was time to move on with his life. 

 

About a month after Justin left for Europe, Brian dumped Matt and continued on with his personal path of destruction: frequent, sleepless nights, lots of mindless sex, drinking like a fish, and drugs; lots and lots of mind-numbing drugs to help him forget what he had done. Michael tried his best unsuccessfully to help him, but Brian didn't care. It was only when Debbie intervened and managed to talk some sense into him - reminding him that he needed to straighten himself up if only for Gus's sake, who adored him - that he finally decided enough was enough, and he resumed a more responsible pattern, albeit a very lonely one. 

 

Brian surreptitiously engaged Cynthia in keeping track of all of Justin's art exhibitions after he left - both in Europe and in the U.S. - so he could secretly attend every one of them, and took inordinate pride in everything his former partner was accomplishing. It helped only slightly to quell the pain he still felt over their breakup. He would occasionally catch his assistant flashing him a sympathetic look, but he knew as his most loyal employee, she would never divulge that he was keeping tabs on his ex-lover. 

 

Two months after leaving for Europe, Ted presented his boss with a check from Justin, covering all the debt he had accrued through Brian paying for his college education. Brian, in typical fashion, vehemently refused to accept it, only agreeing to endorse the back of the check after Justin informed Ted that he wanted the money to be diverted, instead, to the Vic Grassi House if Brian wouldn't take it; a solution that Brian finally agreed to after some thought.

 

Now it was two years later, and Justin was once more back in Pittsburgh. Brian's first impulse as he sat in the car was to drive over to Jennifer's home and beg his ex-partner's forgiveness, but that just wasn't an option. No, that was not what Brian Kinney would do. He would continue living his hollow, dismal life instead without the one person who had actually given it meaning and provided him with the love that he often questioned that he deserved.

 

Starting up his car, he headed toward Kinnetik, knowing he had a full day ahead of him: two new clients in the morning, and then some intense, back-and-forth meetings with the Art Department to try and salvage the newest campaign for Brown Athletics. If only he had someone of Justin's caliber to produce the same, high-quality, edgy artwork! But there was no time for 'if onlys.' Sighing, he rubbed his hand over his face as he continued toward his office, trying hard not to think of who was uppermost on his mind.

 

 

Same Time... 

 

Justin admired the loft space his mother was showing him as he admired the wall-to-ceiling windows and the large, open living area. 

 

"Well, what do you think, Sweetheart?" 

 

Justin turned around to smile at his mother, delighted. "It's perfect! Lots of morning light, functional and very open." He grinned at her. "And best of all, I can afford it. I can work out of my new home, and also stay close to you and Molly. I wonder about Luke, though..."

 

Jennifer furrowed her brow. "Luke?" 

 

Justin nodded. "Yeah," he responded as he looked around, imaging the placement of his furnishings in the loft. "You think they'll be enough room in here for a piano?" 

 

Jennifer nodded with a smile. "Knowing how Spartan a space you had before? I'm sure something can be worked out; the biggest problem will be getting it UP here. But movers have a way of doing that. I'm sure it'll be fine," she reassured him. She eyed her son carefully as he nodded. "Justin...Are you positive you want to come back her and leave New York?" 

 

Justin sighed; he had been expecting that question - for a lot of reasons. "Mom, there's no need now for me to constantly be present in New York." He looked around the large, high-ceilinged space. "I can paint just as easily here. And I miss being here, around you, Molly, and my friends. I can travel anytime I need to, so it's not a problem. Yes...This is what I want to do." 

 

"And Luke?" she pressed softly.

"I'm sure he'll go along with whatever I decide," he told her. "Besides, he'll only be staying with me when he's in town for his orchestra performances." He didn't stop to think about how ironic it was that he had hooked up with yet another musician; he would have never in a million years expected that. So...I'd like to put a bid on it and come home," he told his mother with a smile as she nodded. 

Jennifer walked over to give her son a quick hug. "That's wonderful, Justin! I'll be so happy to have you living close to me again! I've missed that," she told him as she looked into her son's eyes. 

"Me, too, Mom." he responded fondly. He looked around what he hoped would be his new home. "Then it looks like it's hello, Pittsburgh, goodbye, New York!" he said with a laugh as she nodded back at him with a delighted smile.


	2. Finding some answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian decides to enlist the aid of the Pittsburgh Police Department to investigate the Babylon bombing further; a sense of urgency to contact Justin ensues when he discovers something shocking.

Tuesday morning found the gang back in their familiar spots at the diner as Brian walked up to overhear Debbie lamenting, "I can't accept this! Seven innocent people died, and the police still have no clue who the killer is!"   
Brian peered over her shoulder. "Debbie, did I miss something, or is Carl not the one overseeing the investigation?" he quipped. "I thought he walked on water."   
Debbie turned around, her eyes flashing. "Carl is doing the best he can," she told him stiffly. "But there just aren't enough clues to work with. And it's been four years now. Most people have forgotten all about it by now, or they just don't care about what happened to the victims. There weren't straight people involved; they were queers. To a lot of people, they aren't worth the time of day anymore. Well, I don't know about them; but we won't LET them forget," she vowed, her lips pressed tightly together in resolve.   
Brian slid into a counter seat next to Michael as he told her, "Well, you figured out who Jason Kemp was. Go do some digging yourself, Debbie."   
She huffed. "I would if I could," she told him. "But I can tell you this; neither Carl – nor I – will rest until that maniac is brought to justice."   
"Spoken like a true crime fighter," Brian deadpanned as she rolled her eyes. "Coffee, Deb? Some of us have more archaic jobs to get to."   
Shaking her head, she picked up the hot carafe of regular coffee as Brian turned his cup over. "You can make light all you want, Brian," she told him. "But this won't go unsolved."  
Brian gave her a wistful smile. Unbeknownst to Debbie, the perpetrator was always uppermost on his mind as well. "I hope you're right, Deb," he told her softly as she nodded and turned to take someone else's order nearby. "I hope you're right."

 

Pittsburgh Police Department  
Carl Horvath turned his attention away from what was on his desk as he heard someone rapping on his open door. 

"Carl?"  
"Brian," Horvath responded with a tight smile.  
"Debbie said you wanted to talk to me."   
Carl nodded. "Come and sit down. I'm sure Debbie's told you that I've been reviewing all the evidence regarding the bombing of your club. With the anniversary coming up, the chief thought it would be a good idea to look it over again."  
Brian nodded as he walked in and took a seat opposite the older man, a lump in his throat. Even now, the events of what had happened that night were still painful to him. The only good that had come out of that night – besides the fact that Michael had ultimately survived his injuries – was that he finally had gotten up enough nerve to tell Justin that he loved him. Of course, that was irrelevant now; they weren't together anymore. "Do you have any new leads?" he asked quietly as Carl shook his head.   
The detective sighed as he rubbed his head with his hand in agitation. "No. I've gone over all the testimony we collected from the patrons present that night at the benefit, as well as all of the employees from your club and anyone else who could have observed or heard anything unusual that night. No one saw anything or anyone they would consider suspicious, and everyone was cleared of any blame. You had no new employees hired before the bombing, and the club was so crowded that night that even if THERE had been someone who wanted to hide their actions that night, it wouldn't have been that difficult to do."   
Brian nodded as he glanced down at the documents on Carl's desk. There were several pieces of paper, in addition to several photos lying there, some of which showed a few of the victims. He winced at the memory of trying to find Justin that night – and his panic and fear over the notion that Justin could have been lying there, still and cold. If that had happened, his life would have virtually ended as well that night.  
Carl shook his head. "We have what's left of the incendiary materials – it was a bomb that anyone could have easily figured out how to make on the internet. And we know for certain that the bomb had a timer with it that was planted somewhere around the bar area. It's a wonder the bartender didn't notice something. But, of course, he's dead now, so we'll never know. In all that confusion that night, though, I guess I'm not surprised that someone could walk in with an incendiary device hidden underneath his clothing and plant it somewhere unobtrusively near the bar where it would do a lot of damage and then slip out immediately afterward before it went off. Damn it, though! There were so many people there that night! You would have thought someone would have seen something."   
Brian nodded in agreement. "You still think it was the work of one person." The police had talked to him at length right afterward the bombing to find out if he knew of anyone who would want to do perform such a heinous act on his club. Apart from the typical list of the usual homophobes, however, he could not come up with anyone else in particular.   
Carl nodded. "Yes. At least that's what the bomb squad thinks; and so does the department's profiler."   
Brian nodded once more. "So why did you want to see me?" he asked curiously.   
"I thought it might be a good idea for you to study all the photographic evidence again," Carl told him. "Through a court order, we recently obtained several previously unknown photos that had been taken by the Pittsburgh Gazette that night that we were unaware existed until now. I thought maybe you might recognize someone or something out of place in them. Would you be willing to take a look?"   
Brian nodded as Carl scooped up all the photos together and handed them to him. He noticed his hands shaking slightly as he slowly began to sift through them, his eyes raking over them thoroughly in hopes of seeing something, anything, that might seem unusual or out of sync.   
Carl watched Brian closely as the younger man began to examine each photo, noticing him pausing as he got to one showing Michael being loaded onto a stretcher before being placed in the ambulance. He thought he saw a small smile appear on Brian's face as he came to a photo taken of him and Justin hugging several hours after the crime.   
"I had no idea these existed," he murmured, his heart fluttering at the photo of the two of them embracing so tightly. That had been a hell of a night; one that he never wanted to go through again.   
"You can have that one if you want it," Carl told him softly as he noticed Brian lovingly fingering the photo. Carl didn't dare to profess that he truly understood what it meant for a man to love another man. But even he didn't have any trouble discerning how deeply Brian and Justin had loved each other back then when that photo was taken – probably STILL love each other. Only Brian was apparently too stubborn to admit it or consider himself worthy of being loved like he loved Justin, according to what Debbie had told him.   
"Thanks," Brian told him as he slipped the photo into his pocket and cleared his throat.   
"Brian..?"  
Brian looked over at Carl. "Yeah?"   
Carl appeared a little uncomfortable as he told him, "If you don't mind me saying so, Debbie told me about Justin being back in town, at least for a little while." Brian nodded back at him, wondering why he was bringing that rather painful subject up. "I...I admit I still can't quite understand this whole gay love thing. But I just wanted to say...if you really do love him, life is too short not to tell him. Trust me; I've seen way too many cases of how fragile life can be. I speak from experience; don't let the chance slip away from you. If you really want to be with him, fight for him." He smiled a little in embarrassment. "Sorry," he mumbled awkwardly. "I just thought..."  
Brian sighed. "I see that Debbie has had a major influence on you," he told him dryly. "I know she – and you – mean well. But let's just concentrate on why I came here, okay, and leave Justin out of it."   
Carl nodded as Brian resuming looking at the photos. All at once, he noticed Brian's body stiffening and his face turning pale. "What? Do you see something?" he asked urgently.   
Brian let out a tense breath as he stared at the photograph in front of him. After a few seconds, he slowly shook his head. "No," he whispered in a hoarse voice. "No, I thought I recognized someone...But I was mistaken."   
Carl frowned as he watched Brian's body language. He normally was spot on when it came to reading someone's reaction, and Brian seemed to freeze up when he came to one photo in particular. "Are you sure, Brian?" he pressed him as he watched Brian continue to sort through the photos.   
After a few seconds, Brian finished looking through the photos and pushed them toward Carl. He met his gaze evenly. "Yeah, I'm sure," he told him as he pushed back from the desk and stood up. "Sorry I couldn't be more help. But keep me posted, okay?"   
Carl nodded, still unconvinced that Brian hadn't seen something that bothered him. "Sure thing," he told him as Brian nodded back at him before turning to leave. 

It was all Brian could do to reach the relatively safe confines of his car before he slumped his head against the steering wheel in disbelief, the cries of despair from the wounded that night still echoing in his mind. He knew Carl had been suspicious of his reaction to that one photo, and he had every right to be. Because he HAD recognized someone; someone despicable. No...How is that possible? And why hadn't he thought about that possibility? It all made perfect sense to him now, though. He didn't know after four years if this person would ever do anything else again, but he couldn't take that chance.   
At the moment, he wasn't thinking about all the innocent lives that had been lost, or the survivors that no doubt relived what had happened over and over again in their nightmares. He wasn't even thinking about Michael right now. No. All he could think about was Justin...He had to protect Justin. "I have to find him," he whispered, swallowing hard as he lifted his face and stared straight ahead.   
Not caring about being at the police station, he started up his sports car and pealed out of the parking lot, speeding off at top speed toward Jennifer's home, reaching for his cellphone to answer an incoming call. He groaned as he recognized the number. "Theodore, this had better be fucking important," he warned him as he continued toward his destination.   
Ted took a deep breath. "It is," he assured him. "The representatives for Texas Gourmet Meats are here for their presentation. It was supposed to start fifteen minutes ago, and you're not here. What's going on?"   
Brian knew that was a potential, multi-millionaire account. But right now he didn't care. "I'm not coming in, Theodore," he told him flatly. "Handle it."   
"What?! But..."  
"You heard me!" Brian hissed. "All the material is there on my desk. You've handled accounts like theirs before. Get Cynthia to help you with it if you have to. Just do it." There was silence on the other end. "Ted, do you hear me? Take care of it. You got it?"   
Ted sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, I don't understand what's going on. But I got it."   
"Good. And Theodore?"  
"Yeah?"   
"Don't fuck it up."   
"Got it." 

Brian barely waited until the car was stopped and turned off before he bolted from the 'Vette, rushing up the sidewalk to bang on Jennifer's door. He could feel his heart pounding, and silently berated himself for reacting like some pathetic, scared little faggot. But when it came to Justin, he couldn't help it. As the interior door was opened, he stared in surprise as he noticed a young, strawberry-blonde woman peering through the screen door to stare curiously over at him.   
She frowned in surprise as a glimmer of recognition lit up her face. "Brian? Is that you?"   
Brian's mouth hung open. Except for the slightly redder hair, this blue-eyed, beautiful young woman with the pink, full lips and pale skin standing in front of him was the spitting image of a younger, female version of Justin. Which could only mean one thing… "Molly?" he asked.   
"Yeah…"  
Brian shook his head in amazement. During his and Justin's somewhat troubled relationship, he had only rarely seen Justin's younger sister. He had always figured her as more of a daddy's girl and that she had been brainwashed regarding him and Justin. But now, as he stood there peering into the eyes of yet another seventeen-year-old teenage Taylor child, it was almost like a time warp and he was once again seeing Justin under that lamppost so many years ago. On that night, his two boys – Justin and Gus – had entered his life and had changed it forever.   
"Brian? What do you want?" he heard Molly asking him as he blinked his eyes and refocused on the present.  
"I need to speak to your brother," he told her.   
"Can't," she told him matter-of-factly. "He's out with my mom and Luke."   
Brian's face darkened slightly. "Luke?"   
"Yeah. His friend from New York."   
Friend. Yeah, I bet, Brian couldn't help thinking to himself. "Do you know where they went?"  
"Nope. Sorry."   
Brian wasn't to be deterred, though. "Well, how about his cell number, then? I really need to talk to him; it's urgent." To his dismay, though, Molly shook her head.  
"Can't do it," she told him, squinting her eyes up at him. "He told me not to give that out. Said he would revoke my license to live and not let me use his car tonight, and I like living. And he has a really cool car, too."   
Brian sighed. "Well, can you tell him that I need to talk to him right away?"   
She studied him for a moment. "I guess so," she finally responded to Brian's relief. "My dad used to hate you, by the way."   
Brian huffed. "Yeah, I know," he told her dryly. "Hopefully YOU don't, though."   
She shook her head. "Naw…I actually think you're kind of hot…for an old guy."   
Brian rolled his eyes. "Thanks…I guess. Don't forget to tell him, okay?"   
"Okay," she said as she turned to close the door behind her. Brian let out a tense breath before returning to his car. Sitting behind the driver's seat, he grabbed his cellphone and flipped it open, waiting impatiently for the other party to answer.  
"Jennifer!" he exclaimed breathlessly. "Is Justin there with you?"   
"Brian? No, he's not."   
"Can you tell me where he is?"   
There was a slight pause on the other end. "No, Brian," Jennifer told him softly.   
He groaned in frustration. He was really getting tired of that word. "Jennifer, it's important. Please – just tell me how I can reach him."   
"I'm sorry, Brian. But he does not want to see you or talk to you."  
"Jen, this is urgent! I wouldn't ask otherwise. I have to talk to him today."   
Jennifer closed her eyes briefly before replying, "Brian, it's nothing personal. I like you and I admire you. I could never fully thank you enough for what you did for my son. But if you really love him – and I think you still do no matter what happened before – please leave him alone. You have hurt him enough. I just can't stand to see him suffer through that kind of pain again."  
"Jen, you don't understand," Brian insisted. "This time it's not what you're thinking. It has nothing to do with why we broke things off. This has to do with something entirely different. I really need to talk with him. Please."   
Jennifer sighed. "Okay, Brian," she told him softly. "I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do."  
Brian let out a deep breath. It wasn't the ideal response, but it would have to be enough for now. Thanks," he told her sincerely. "Don't forget to tell him it's important," he reminded her.  
"I won't," she assured him before he hung up the phone.   
Her son peered over at her curiously. "What did he want?"   
"He says he needs to talk to you urgently," she told him. "Today."   
Luke, sitting beside him at the airport, listened raptly to their conversation, knowing fairly little about Brian due to his boyfriend's reluctance to discuss his past, but knowing enough to realize this man still was important to him.   
Justin's eyes flashed, the hurt he had felt a couple of years ago rising again to the surface. "I don't care!" he told his mother. "I don't want anything to do with him."   
"But he really sounded worried, Honey…"  
"This…this is your Brian?" Luke asked quietly, his green eyes boring into his.   
"Yeah…I mean, no!" Justin immediately corrected himself. "I mean, yeah, he's the one I told you about. But I don't want to see him, much less talk to him," he reassured him firmly. Brian was in his past now.   
"But if it really is urgent…"  
"No, Luke! Everything with Brian is urgent. I'm not falling for his bullshit any longer."   
"Justin…"  
"Mom, I'm not going to discuss this any longer. Just go along with my wishes, okay? I do NOT want to speak with him."   
Jennifer nodded. But silently she wondered what Brian wanted. It wasn't like him to over-exaggerate. Just what was so important after all this time that it was so urgent for him to speak with her son? Whatever the reason, however, apparently it didn't matter. Justin has made it clear he did not want to talk with him, so there was only so much that she could do. She watched as Justin stood up.   
"Come on, Luke, you're going to miss your plane if we don't get moving," Justin told his boyfriend as Luke nodded to stand beside him. 

Brian entered the diner on a mission, searching immediately for Debbie.   
"Back so soon?" she asked him as she came out from the kitchen. "Boss let you take the day off?"  
But she didn't receive Brian's typical smirk or sarcastic retort; instead, his mouth was drawn into a tight line as he told her, "I didn't go in today."   
She snorted. "Hell must have frozen over. You CHOSE not to go in?"  
"I don't have time for this, Deb," he told her. "Do you have Justin's phone number?" he asked her impatiently.   
"Oh, no you don't, Brian Kinney; you leave Sunshine in peace! Didn't we have this talk earlier?"   
"Debbie, listen to me! Fuck, why won't anyone hear me out? This is important! I need to talk to him."  
"Oh?" she asked skeptically as she crossed her arms across her chest defiantly.   
"Debbie…Carl called me to come to the police station this morning. He was reviewing the old case file on the bombing, and he wanted me to look at some new photos the police had just obtained from the local paper."  
She frowned, her interest piqued. "New photos?"   
Brian nodded. "Yeah…he thought maybe I might see something unusual or recognize someone that might not have had any business being at the club that night."   
"And did you?" she asked, noticing Brian's face paling. "Brian?"   
He nodded, his lips pressed together firmly. "Yeah, I did. He was in one of the background photos at the event. It was that fucker, Chris Hobbs."   
Debbie's eyes grew wide in alarm. "Shit! No way! You don't think he…"  
"It's possible," Brian told her with deadly calm. "You know how he felt about Justin doing what he did! NOW do you understand why I need to talk to him?"   
"Yeah. But I don't understand, Honey. Why didn't you tell CARL about it this morning when you saw him in the picture? Wouldn't that have been the best thing to do?"   
"I don't KNOW why I didn't tell him! I guess because I didn't have anything to really nail him with! I was more worried about finding Justin to warn him first! With all the publicity about the event coming up on Friday, who knows what the guy might do? Do you think you can convince Justin to talk to me?" he said, almost pleading now. "And you can tell Carl what's happened and ask him to track Hobbs down in the meantime."   
"Yeah," Debbie murmured, still in shock. "I'll tell Carl as soon as I see him; he should be stopping in here in about fifteen minutes to drive me home."   
"Thanks, Deb," Brian told her gratefully as he turned to go.  
"Brian?" Debbie grasped his sleeve.  
"Yeah?"   
"If I DO persuade him to talk to you, go easy with him. He has suffered a lot as a result of what that asshole did to him. If you're not careful, he's liable to have to endure reliving it all over again."   
Brian nodded in understanding; that was the last thing he wanted to happen. "I will," he promised. Now I have to go."   
"But where? Carl will be here any minute."   
"Talk to him for me," Brian implored. "I'm going over to see Michael." 

Brian paused right outside the diner long enough to light his fifth cigarette of the day. "Shit," he muttered, realizing he was lighting up so much today because of how stressed out and tense he was. He had been trying to cut down, but this latest event had caused him to revert back to his bad habit of chain smoking.   
As he headed toward his car, he wondered if Justin would ever forgive him for what he had done two years ago. Matt had been insignificant; he had been merely one among several others. He had served his purpose, and now he was long gone. "I had to do it, Sunshine," he murmured as he reached his car and slid into the driver's seat. "I had to let you pursue your dreams. Don't you see? It was the only way; otherwise, you would have felt obligated to stay with me." And one day he felt Justin would learn to resent him and even hate him for keeping him from discovering his true potential in the art world.  
He started the car and slowly pulled out into traffic. He knew that providing Justin with an excuse to pursue his dreams wasn't the only reason, though. Partly it had been because he still needed to prove that he was Brian Kinney, the hottest guy in gay Pittsburgh; the man who always gave the best fucks, the man who was carefree and unattached. "Yeah…right," he muttered, knowing that was all a lie. He had lost his heart the day he had met Justin. Yes, he had done it all for Justin…and for love. He still loved him. That had never changed.

The bell jingled over the door of the comic book shop as Brian arrived a few minutes later.  
"Michael."   
Michael peered over at his best friend from behind the counter. "Brian. What are you doing here at this time of day? Why aren't you at work?"   
"I need to know if you have a way of contacting Justin." He figured it was worth a shot. He was going to try any way he could to get in touch with him, and he thought that perhaps Michael still stayed in touch with his former collaborator.   
"Well…"  
Brian sighed. Was it all a big conspiracy to keep him away from Justin? By even his best friend? "Michael…I need to talk to him. Have you seen the latest photos from the bombing?"   
"You mean those ones that they subpoenaed to get from the Gazette?" Brian nodded. "No," he told him softly. "Ben looked them over. But he thought it was best I didn't see them. I think Carl has shown them to almost everyone else, though, that was there. No one saw anything out of the ordinary. Why?"   
"Because I did."   
Michael furrowed his brow in concern, his voice softening as he asked, "You mean you saw someone that might have had a reason to bomb the place?"   
His jaw set with anger, Brian nodded. "Yeah…You could say that. Chris Hobbs."   
"What?! Are you sure?"  
"Yeah…deadly sure."   
"Shit! Did you tell Carl?"  
Brian shook his head. "No, your mom's going to tell him. My main concern is making sure he doesn't go after Justin. And you, by the way," he told his friend. "You may not be entirely safe, either. You need to take some precautions, Michael. You shouldn't be here in this place by yourself, not until Hobbs is thoroughly questioned about the bombing."  
But Michael shook his head. "I don't think he cares about me, Brian. We never even met. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You're right. If anyone might be in danger, it would be Justin. From what you and he told me, he hates him. And you," he realized. "Brian, you could be in just as much danger as he is. You were the owner of Babylon – and YOU were the one dancing with him and, in his eyes, flaunting who you were in front of everyone. What about YOUR safety?"   
"That's not my worry right now, Mikey. I have to protect Justin. He comes first."   
To his surprise, Michael huffed in disgust. "It's always Justin! Brian, when are you going to realize that he's not a 17-year-old kid anymore? He can take care of himself!"   
Brian shook his head in exasperation. "Michael, you know I love you and I always will – as a friend. You don't need to be jealous of him."   
Michael looked at him in disbelief. "I am NOT 'jealous!' He just needs to stand on his own two feet, that's all!"   
Brian bristled; he did not need this right now. "What is your problem, Mikey? Your mother still treats you like YOU'RE five years old, and you own a comic book store! You're one to talk about growing up!"   
"Fuck you, Brian; she does not treat me like a child! And I happen to make a good living doing this."   
Just then the phone rang in the shop; Michael glared over at his friend before picking it up. "Comics Plus," he answered as he listened to the caller. His eyes darted over to Brian, the words coming out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Justin! Uh, this isn't…"  
As soon as Brian heard his name, he snatched the phone away from him.  
"Damn it, Brian!" Michael shouted in disgust, but it was too late.  
"Justin! Justin, listen to me!" Brian pleaded, his words rushing out in a torrent of worry. "Please don't hang up! I need to talk to you; it's urgent!"   
He could hear Justin exhale a heavy breath as he told him, "I have nothing to say to you, Brian."   
"Justin, this is important!"   
Justin sighed. "Okay…So talk. But make it quick."   
"This can't be discussed on the phone. It has to be in person."   
Justin shook his head. Of course it does, he thought dryly. "Whatever, Brian. I'll meet you at the diner, then, in half an hour."  
Thoughts of rowdy conversation, dinner plates rattling, and, worse of all, Debbie overhearing everything they would say drifted through his mind as he replied, "No, it has to be somewhere quiet. It's too difficult to carry on a conversation there." And much too open… "Meet me at the loft."   
Justin snorted. "I will NOT meet you at the loft, Brian."   
Brian harrumphed. "Give it a rest, Sunshine. I don't have any ulterior motive here. I just need to talk to you some place where we won't be interrupted. What's the big deal? Are you afraid of meeting me there?"  
"Of course not," Justin told him stiffly. The truth was, though, he WAS afraid of going there. Afraid of all the memories that it would conjure up. But he was not about to let Brian know how difficult coming back there would be. "Okay – I'll see you at the loft in thirty minutes."   
"Good. Okay. Later."   
"Okay," was the quiet answer before Justin disconnected the call.   
Michael shook his head. "I don't believe this is starting all over again."   
"Don't fuck with me when it comes to Justin, Mikey," Brian warned him as he turned to go and his best friend's mouth hung open in shock. "Or you'll lose."


	3. The Big Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin are reunited after a long separation.  
>    
> 
> Is everything that lived really part of your past?

Brian slid open the door to his loft to allow Justin to enter, and his breath caught in his throat as he got his first look at his ex-partner after so long. Despite the longer hair and the serious, sad expression in the ocean-blue eyes, Justin looked even more beautiful than before. Brian had to control his strong urge to sweep him into an embrace at that moment and slide his tongue over the smooth expanse of Justin’s neck as he relished in the sight of him again. 

What was unknown to Brian, however, was that Justin was experiencing much the same emotions as he stood there looking at his ex-partner. As he headed over here earlier, he had to keep repeating to himself that Brian wouldn’t affect him like he did before; that he was over the sickness, the fever that Brian had always instilled in him whenever they were together. After all, he wasn’t some silly, impetuous teenager anymore; he was twenty-six years old and an accomplished artist. He was well-known throughout all the major U.S. cities, had lived and traveled in Europe for two years, and was considered a great, upcoming phenomenon among a new generation of artists. His works were presently commanding high figures in the art market, and a successful career was no longer a possibility; it was now a reality.

He and Luke, who was three years older than he, had been friends before they became something more. They had met at a coffee shop soon after Justin had arrived in New York, and after hitting it off, Justin had offered to introduce him to some possible contacts in the music world that he become familiar with at various art showings throughout the city. 

 

Unlike with Ethan, who had presented him with an illusion of romance, or Brian, who represented unbridled passion and unconditional love, he and Luke had decided to build their relationship slowly and get to know each other gradually. Like him, Luke had been disappointed in love before, so he was more than agreeable to not rushing into anything. Everything, then, should have been just fine, and meeting up with Brian again should not have posed any problems for him.

So why, then, when he had parked his car in front of Brian’s loft, had he broken out into a cold sweat and had trouble breathing? It took a great deal of self-control on his part to push the intercom button a few minutes later to enter the building since he no longer had a key. Just hearing Brian’s voice answering the buzzer, too, had made his heart lurch. 

As Brian opened the door to let him in, it was as if time had ceased to exist and the memories they had shared together came flooding back to him. Good and bad memories of living here, memories of the boy he had started out as and the man he had eventually become. Memories, too, of when they had said goodbye and he had traveled to New York. Memories of the two of them traveling back and forth to see each other, to try and keep their relationship alive. 

The memories were still there, as well as the feelings, like ghosts haunting him, breaking through his barriers, and exposing his weaknesses. And then there was Brian himself. Did the passage of time cause him to forget how incredibly beautiful he was? The hazel eyes peering back at him felt like they were boring straight through to his soul, and that mouth...how he had missed what that mouth could do to him, and the toned, tanned arms that would caress him and hold him close so protectively...and his body, so long, lean and...

"Justin...You ARE coming in?"

"Huh?" He blinked a little awkwardly as he realized Brian had been talking to him. "Uh, yeah, thanks."

Brian turned around in amusement as Justin entered, unable to look at his ex-partner any longer, even though he knew he had to tell him what he had discovered. "Get you something to drink?" 

Justin shrugged. "Beer?" 

Brian nodded as he walked over to the refrigerator to retrieve two bottles and hand one to him. Justin's hand brushed against his as he took the proffered bottle, causing a jolt of electric warmth to flow through him. He took a swig to calm him rapidly-beating heart first before he finally peered over at Justin to advise him, "I've been following your career, Justin. Congratulations on your success." 

"Thanks," Justin responded, wondering why they were engaging in this small talk. Hadn't Brian insisted on him coming here because he had something urgent to tell him? 

"I saw Molly earlier. She looked just like you did when you were seventeen years old."

Justin couldn't help smiling a little that as he nodded. "Yeah...we do look a lot alike." 

Brian took a deep breath; he had to ask. "She said you came here with someone. Uh...Dick? Puck?" 

Justin had to laugh. He didn't know if Brian was being facetious like he used to be with Ethan or not. "Luke." 

Brian nodded. "Oh, yeah...Luke. So what does he do? Is he an artist, too?" 

Oh, boy. Here goes, Justin couldn't help thinking. "Well, in a manner of speaking. He's a musician with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra." 

Brian huffed lightly. "Let me guess...he's a violinist." 

Justin smiled. "No...Piano, actually." 

"You know, you really make me hate classical music," Brian told him softly. 

Justin eyed him intently. "I never knew you liked it in the first place." 

"You don't know everything about me, Justin. No matter what you think." 

Justin nodded, wondering exactly what Brian meant by that. The intense look his ex-lover was giving him threatened to take his breath away. He cleared his throat, deciding it was time to change the subject. 

"What exactly did you want, Brian? You said it was urgent," he reminded him. 

"When are you going back to New York?" was the unexpected, abrupt question. 

"What?" Justin replied, taken aback. "If you must know, I'm not going back. I'll be living in Pittsburgh for the time being. I've already bought a loft on the other side of town; not as expensive as this one," he told him, "but I'll be able to use it as a combination home and studio, so that will save me a little money. I'll just commute between here and New York City as needed." He turned around to stare out the large, expansive windows that overlooked the street below. "New York was never really my home, Brian," he whispered. "It's an amazing city, so full of life and vibrancy. But it was just a place for me to gain contacts and credibility." He turned around to notice Brian watching him intently. "I feel like I've done that now. Here I can still paint, but also enjoy a little more tranquility and be closer to my friends and my family. I can't do that in New York." 

Brian bit his lower lip. "And...Your boyfriend?" He almost choked on that word; it sounded so distasteful. "And your agent? What about them?" 

"They understand how I feel and they accept it. Luke travels a lot with the orchestra anyway, so he doesn't really care where he calls home. And my agent – with laptops and cell phones it's easy to represent clients whether they're in the same town or not." He wrapped his arms around his chest as he asked, "Brian...enough small talk. Why did you call me over here? I talked to Debbie, by the way, and she sounded scared about something. What exactly is going on?" 

"Justin, you CANNOT stay here," Brian told him bluntly. 

Justin's mouth opened as he stared at him angrily. "Excuse me? Are you crazy? What right do you have to decide where I do or do not live, Brian? You made it clear a long time ago that you didn't want to be a part of my life anymore! It's MY choice where I live – and who I see. I hate to break this to you, Mr. Kinney, but my life no longer revolves around yours! I have my own career now, and a lot more money than I ever dreamed I would have. I don't have to depend upon anyone now: not my father, not my mother, and not you. I make my own decisions, Brian. You don't have any say in where I do or do not live. It's time you get used to it." 

He brushed some tears away from his eyes, disgusted that Brian could still invoke that sort of reaction as Brian tentatively walked closer to him. "Leave me alone!" he shouted, but Brian refused to do that.

"Justin..." He pulled him into his arms and wrapped his body tightly against his, kissing the top of his head. 

"I said let me go!" Justin tried to resist at first, his palms pressing against Brian's chest, but it felt too good, too right, too familiar; and he knew it was only half-hearted at best as all the anguish flowed out of him, along with his tears. Finally, he slid his arms around Brian's waist and just held on, allowing his ex-lover to hold him like he did so many times before. God, it feels so good to be held by him again after all this time...

Finally, his tears subsided as he pulled back enough to dare to peer into Brian's face. He saw a mixture of emotions there, but he wasn't quite able to read them properly. Compassion? Concern? Sympathy? He didn't dare think he saw love there, though. It would be too much to hope for, and he wasn't ready to forgive Brian anyway for what he had done. 

Brian stared into the tear-washed, blue eyes he knew so well before he took Justin's face in both his hands and simply drunk in his ex-partner's beauty that still took his breath away. He could see the pain so evident there, even now, and his heart broke at the thought that he had been the cause of it; he would always regret what he had been impelled to do. He had to force himself not to kiss those familiar, soft, pink lips that seemed to be begging to be kissed. He knew if he did, that everything he had been trying to hide would flare to the surface, and right now Justin's safety was more important. 

"Brian...Let me go," Justin repeated in a choked voice, afraid that he wouldn't be able to resist him. His ex-partner's warm, long-fingered hands on his face were making him tingle with desire. 

"Listen to me, Sunshine!" Brian urgently told him. "I'm not trying to control your life, or tell you where you should live." Justin tried to shake his head in disbelief, but Brian held him fast. "Being here is Pittsburgh right now is too dangerous for you. For your own safety, you need to return to New York." 

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" 

Brian hated like hell to release his ex-lover, but he knew that common sense had to prevail here, and he found that he was having trouble thinking rationally while he was holding Justin's face in his hands. With great reluctance, then, he released his hold on him as he suggested, "Let's sit down and I'll explain it to you." 

Justin nodded, briefly regretting the loss of Brian's body against his as the two of them moved to sit next to each other on the couch. Justin forced himself not to dwell on how this had been the same couch he and Brian had made love on so many times before as he turned to look at him. "Okay, so tell me what's going on." 

Brian nodded. He took a deep breath, knowing how much he hated to have to bring up the subject of the bombing again. "Debbie tells me that you're contributing a painting to be auctioned off Friday at the GLC benefit." 

"That's right." He frowned. Was Brian going to somehow criticize him for doing that? "What about it?" he asked a little defensively.

"Justin...Did Carl ask you to come down to the station to look at some photos?"

He furrowed his brow. "No...What sort of photos? You mean from the bombing?" Brian nodded. "I did that right after it happened," he told him. "He asked everyone to look them over. I didn't see anything or anyone out of the ordinary." He shook his head in confusion. "Brian, why are you asking me this?" 

"I don't mean right after the bombing. I mean recently. Did he ask you to come down there in the last day or so to look at some?" 

"No...Brian, what are you talking about?" He suddenly felt a large knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach.

Brian took another deep breath and let it out. "With the anniversary of the bombing coming up Friday, the police department was being pressured to reopen the case and take a fresh look at all the evidence. Carl asked me to come down this morning to look at a new batch of photos that the police department had managed to obtain from the Pittsburgh Gazette through a subpoena. They only became aware recently that they existed, and he thought that maybe as the owner of the club I might see something remiss in them that might help solve the case. Michael told me that Ben had been asked to look at them, too, but that he decided it didn't want to relive the whole event himself, so he didn't go." He paused as he stared into Justin's face, recalling how sooty, bloody – and beautiful – his partner's face had looked that night when he had found him – a little shaken but alive...Oh, so alive. 

"Wow," Justin murmured in shock. "New photos have surfaced after all this time?" 

Brian nodded. "Yeah. So he had me come down and sift through all of them." 

Justin held his breath, somehow knowing that he wasn't going to like what Brian was about to tell him. "And did you see something unusual?" 

Brian nodded. "Well, someone, anyway." He stared into Justin's eyes for a moment before he quietly told him, "He was standing in the background of one of the photos in the aftermath, near some of the fire trucks. But there's no doubt that it was him." 

Justin felt his heart pounding. "Who?" he whispered as he held his breath.

Brian's jaw clenched. "Chris Hobbs." 

"No," Justin recoiled in horror. "No, you must be wrong!" 

Brian shook his head. "No, Sunshine," he told him regretfully. "It was him; I'm positive. If there's anyone's face that I have memorized, it's his. I'll never forget what that bastard looks like until the day I die. It was him, all right. Now do you understand why you might be in danger and you have to leave here?" 

"No!" Justin shouted as he felt his pulse racing. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe, like he was drowning; almost like that night in the club, surrounded by all that smoke. For a brief second, he saw Chris Hobb's face again, a face full of hatred – pure, unadulterated hatred...

He started wheezing. "Brian...I can't breathe," he gasped out as Brian immediately scooted over to him and pulled him into his arms, caressing his back as he whispered in his ear, "Calm down...Breathe in and out, Justin. Take deep breaths. You can do it. You're safe. Listen to me..." He continued to murmur soothing words of comfort and security over and over again as his hand lightly roamed over his back and he firmly held Justin's injured hand in his, stroking his fingers over his palm just like he used to do. 

But Justin's body began to shake and his skin broke out into goose pimples at the thought of what horror Chris Hobbs might have perpetuated on so many innocent people that night...all because of his hatred for him, and he couldn't stop trembling. "How...How...?" That was all he could utter as Brian began to grow more and more concerned over his reaction. He had seen the same sort of thing before, right after Justin's bashing, when he had had so many nightmares. And it was all because of the same, horrid, bigot who didn't deserve to live. 

Brian knew his ex-lover was having a full-blown panic attack now; the likes of which he hadn't seen in a long time. His face was ashen and his skin felt cold to the touch. "Shhh," he murmured over and over as he held him tight. "It's going to be okay..." 

But Justin continued to shake violently until Brian finally pulled him to his feet and, scooping him up into his arms, carried him the couple of steps up to the bedroom, taking a couple of seconds to pull the duvet away before he gently placed him down on the mattress. As he covered him with the duvet and started to pull away, Justin grabbed his hand in a vise. "No. Please...Stay," he pleaded. 

Brian nodded, instinctively knowing he needed the warmth and security he could provide him, as he pulled the duvet back and slid in under the cover to lie beside him. He reached his arms outward as Justin immediately snuggled into his embrace and placed his head on Brian's chest 

The memories washed over him then, and it was too much to bear or resist. The closeness, the familiar smells, the feel of soft, smooth skin under his touch...it could not be ignored. Brian could not be ignored. Justin lifted his head from Brian's chest and their eyes met, just before their lips crashed together.

Their tongues began exploring the familiar confines of their mouths sucking and quenching all the thirst and longing they still felt for one another. The duvet hastily thrown aside, hands roamed and tugged at buttons and zippers as they urgently removed all their clothing, wanting, needing, to feel skin on skin. Brian licked a wet path along Justin's neck, relishing the familiar, salty/sweet taste and inhaling his scent, recognizing the same type of soap Justin had always used before and marveling at the emotions that it evoked in him. 

Letting Brian take the lead, Justin groaned as his ex-partner began to take small nips of his skin, his lips traveling downward to his chest as he sucked on his right nipple, leaving it hard and wet as his hands grasped Brian's head, feeling the soft, auburn hair under his touch. He closed his eyes as the feelings overtook him, Brian's mouth traveling over to his left nipple now to playfully take a bite before he smoothed it with his tongue and then slowly began to slide down his body to his abdomen, continuing to place licks, kisses and bites all over his skin, leaving him hard and moaning with pleasure. He jerked, startled, as he felt Brian lay small bites along the sensitive skin of his inner thigh before he finally moved onto his balls. 

Justin twisted Brian's hair in his hands and arched off the bed as his lover's spit bathed his balls with his tongue. "Brian...." he managed to hiss before he felt him take them into his mouth one at a time, his hands slowly roaming over his groin area. "Fuck..." 

He gasped as Brian finally grasped the base of his cock and seconds later he felt his hot, wet mouth engulfing him. "Yesssss....." he moaned out as Brian began to lick the underside of his penis and then slide his lips up and down on the shaft. "So good...." He wantonly pushed harder into Brian's mouth, as he felt himself unable to control his body's response. 

His hand gripping the flesh of Justin's left thigh, Brian flexed his muscles to take Justin completely in now, ignoring the throbbing in his own dick as he began to speed up his motions, using his tongue to swab the tip of Justin's cock as he heard his ex-lover's moans becoming more and more vocal, signifying he was about to climax. All it took was a soft humming noise with his lips vibrating against Justin's cock before Justin arched off the bed and exploded into his mouth in a rush; his thick, hot come flooding into him. 

He swallowed all of it before slowly releasing him to slide back up and share a taste of him with another kiss. "I'm going to fuck you so hard," he vowed as he swooped in for another, deep kiss, his hands roaming all over his ex-lover's body. Justin whimpered as he reached up and gripped Brian's cock, his thumb flicking over the wet tip. 

"Yesssss...fuck me, Brian," Justin breathed out, lost in a haze of desire and arousal as his hand slipped up and down the long, thick cock.

Brian reached out blindly to the side of the bed to snag a small tube of lube and a condom off the nightstand, knocking over his small alarm clock in the process. Rising up onto his haunches, he kept his eyes locked on Justin's as he squirted a small amount of the lube onto his fingers. Justin spread his legs apart and loudly moaned as Brian slid one coated finger inside a few seconds later, causing Justin to bolt off the bed as he crooked it and hit his sweet spot on the first try.

"Brian...please..." Justin was a whimpering mess as his former partner slid another slippery finger inside to join the other one. "No...Can't wait..." He could feel his own cock hardening again as Brian held the condom package out in front of him. 

In a repeat of their previous times together, he huskily commanded, "Put it on me." There was always something so sensual to him about having Justin slide the latex over his shaft, something so intimate about that, that he couldn't resist the desire for him to do it again. 

Justin swallowed hard as he nodded and, taking the package, quickly tore off the top and pulled the condom out to slide it over Brian's cock, his hands shaking slightly in anticipation as he stared into Brian's smoky-looking eyes. 

He had barely finished his task before he gripped Brian's cock and helped guide it toward its target. He held his breath as he felt the first, initial intrusion into his body, wincing as he experienced the prick of sharp pain that followed. He couldn't help the wince that broke out on his face as Brian stilled his movements. 

It was all Brian could do not to push in further; he wanted to be inside Justin so badly. But he held back somehow, not wanting to hurt him more than necessary. "Justin?" he asked, his voice ragged. But as Justin smacked his thigh in reaction, he knew precisely what it meant: he wanted more. He nodded as he pushed in deeper, this time receiving a loud moan in response. 

"Harder..." was the demand as Justin arched up to push him in even more, his legs wrapping around Brian's waist as he pulled him tightly against his body.

Now Brian groaned at the tight heat engulfing his cock as he could no longer hold back, plunging in roughly until he was balls deep within his ex-lover. Justin gripped his biceps and held on firmly as Brian began to pull out and then thrust back in, over and over, as he quickly developed a rhythm, their grunts of exertion quickly echoing off the loft's walls as they began an all-too-familiar dance. 

Brian knew this was wrong, knew that they should not be doing this, but he was unable to stop it. The feelings threatened to overwhelm him as he kept plunging in and out of Justin's body, his heart pounding. He knew he still loved Justin – had never stopped loving him - but this love he felt for him was almost so deep that it frightened him in its intensity. 

He continued to thrust deeply, in and out, their sweat-slicked bodies sliding easily against each other as Justin reached to stroke his own cock toward climax in perfect timing with Brian's thrusts. Brian could tell by the way Justin's body was tensing that he was about to come as he hoarsely cried out, "Now, Justin! Come for me! Do it!" 

Justin let out a guttural cry, unable to bear it any longer, as he exploded all over his ex-lover, his come washing over Brian's belly and chest. Brian swooped down to steal one more deep kiss, partially muffling his own cry as he plunged in a couple more times before he, too, came inside Justin, filling the condom with his seed. 

Justin lay spent and trembling underneath him while Brian lay on top of him, trying to come down from his own climax as he closed his eyes in disbelief over what had just happened. How did Brian still have this control, this power over him, after all this time? What had he done? Was he crazy? He had to stop this and regain his sanity before it was too late.

He struggled to move, but Brian had him pinned down by his larger body. "Brian," he struggled to say as he wriggled underneath him, still trying to calm his erratic breathing. "We...We should not have done this. I'm...I'm seeing someone." Brian lifted his head to stare into Justin's eyes with an arched eyebrow as Justin confirmed, "I'm still angry with you." 

"You've been angry with me before, and it never stopped us then," he pointed out. "Do you love this Puck?" He held his breath, not sure if he wanted to know the answer or not. 

Justin bristled in resentment, knowing Brian was being obtuse on purpose. "It's LUKE! What is your problem with names?" He let out a deep breath, feeling his breathing slowly returning to normal. "I don't love him," he admitted finally. "I like him, I respect him, and he respects me." 

Brian snickered. "Since when did you become such a lesbian, Justin?" 

In anger, Justin finally managed to push Brian off him as he retorted, "Fuck you, Brian!"

Brian smirked. "No thanks, but I'll fuck YOU again." 

Justin shook his head in disgust. "That's not what I want!"

Brian grinned at him lazily as his eyes lowered to take in Justin's cock. "That not what your body is telling me, Sunshine." He suddenly rolled over and, taking Justin's face in his hands, stared into his eyes.

Justin's body responded immediately to the penetrating look on Brian's face; he never could resist those hazel eyes that had the power to turn his bones to molten liquid. "No..." he whispered, but he knew it was useless as Brian swooped down to steal another deep kiss from his lips. The kiss was intense and strong, destroying every last vestige that remained in his mind. Only the persistent knocking on Brian's loft door was enough to finally break them apart and bring him back to his senses. 

"Brian...someone's at the door," Justin managed to say as they broke off their kiss. 

Brian nuzzled Justin's neck, nipping his lower earlobe as he murmured, "So? Normally when I answer the door after I've fucked you, it means trouble." Both of them could clearly recall the times when his mother – and Stockwell – had appeared, and neither of them had been pleasant memories. 

"Brian, go and answer the door," Justin commanded, knowing they had to end this now. "We’re done here." 

Brian sighed heavily, but rolled off Justin, taking the condom and tying it off to drop it onto the floor as he slid out of bed and, taking just a moment to grab his jeans to hide his groin area, walked out of the bedroom toward the door. Sliding it open, he was surprised to observe a sea of worried faces staring back at him. 

"Debbie...What are you all doing here?" he asked wearily as they walked inside. He noticed a mixture of reactions to his lack of dress. Debbie rolled her eyes, while Michael shook his head in exasperation. Jennifer gasped softly as Carl merely politely averted his eyes and looked away. 

"Where is he, Brian?" was Debbie's demand as he stood facing his visitors.

"Who? You know I never ask the names of my tricks." 

"You KNOW who!" Michael growled. "Is he here?" 

"I'm here," Justin said softly as he walked in from the bedroom, now clad in his jeans. He eyed his mother and his friends awkwardly. Shit...how could he have let this happen? 

Michael snorted. "I knew it!" he said smugly. "I knew this would happen! I would expect it from you, Brian, but I thought you had more sense, Justin..."

Justin opened his mouth to protest, but Brian interrupted him. "It's none of your business, Michael," he told him tersely. "So drop it." He twisted around just long enough to quickly slide his long legs into his own jeans before turning around again to face his company. "Why is there a convention here in my loft, anyway? What do you want?" He could feel the tension permeating the room; it was obvious by the serious, solemn looks on everyone's faces that there was more afoot here than just morbid curiosity over his relationship – or lack thereof – with Justin. 

Jennifer ignored Brian for the time being to focus on her son, knowing any discussion of what exactly was going on between the two of them would have to wait for later; there were more urgent matters that had to be addressed. "Justin...Honey...We need to talk to you. And Brian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Comments are very welcome.


	4. Findings of Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The necessary measures are taken to protect everyone.
> 
> Another tragic event increases the tension in the air.

Carl Horvath had been a cop for a long time, going on thirty-five years soon. During that time, he had experienced a lot and always prided himself on his upstanding, black-and-white ethical standards and integrity. That is, until he met Debbie Novotny. Debbie was a fantastic woman, colorful and a force of nature. She was larger than life, with an even larger mouth, and an even bigger heart. She began to introduce him to a world that he had never known, much less understood, and had given him some important lessons in life that had caused him to change his entire perspective on right and wrong, normal and abnormal. The old prejudices he had previously held promptly fell by the wayside during the past seven years; so much so that if Debbie considered herself to be the mother of so many 'lost boys,' he now firmly thought of himself as being just as involved in their lives as she was.

Now he was faced with a dilemma of major proportions regarding two of them. He had witnessed enough of the relationship between Brian and Justin to know that it was a complicated one; one that had been borne from an initial sexual encounter that had developed into one that went far deeper. As he had told Brian earlier, he suspected they still deeply loved each other even now, and he secretly hoped that they would find a way to reconcile their differences. But first and foremost, Carl Horvath was a police officer. And as hard as it was, he had a job to do. 

He faced the younger of the two men as he quietly asked, "Justin…What do you currently know about Chris Hobbs' whereabouts?" 

"Nothing!" Justin insisted. The last time I saw him was six years ago." 

"Justin..." Brian quietly urged him. "You'd better tell him all of it, Sunshine." He reached over to grasp Justin's hand for support as Justin reluctantly nodded.

"Well…After the prom, I saw him a couple of other times. Once when he was assigned community service at the Hospice House," he informed Carl, shuddering at the memory. "And then when I was a member of the Pink Posse. I told the leader, Cody Bell, about what Hobbs had done to me after the prom, and one day he took me over to some construction site where Hobbs was working. When he turned around and I noticed who it was, I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn't really do or say anything to him." He took a deep breath as Brian squeezed his hand in support. "Cody was angry with me that I didn't try and stand up for myself then. But later, he found out where Hobbs lived and took me over to his house…along with a gun he had." 

He could hear Debbie and his mom gasp in shock over that statement, so he hurried on before he lost his nerve. "I was so angry about his attitude – so high and mighty like he was so much better than me. So I grabbed the gun that Cody had and aimed it at him and told him to get down on his knees in front of me. Cody kept urging me on, and I just felt so furious with Hobbs that I…I made him tell me how sorry he was for what he had done to me, and then I told him to open up his mouth so I could slide the gun inside." 

"Justin…" his mom cried in dismay. 

"Mom, let me finish," he chided her softly. "I told him that the fear he was feeling at that moment was the same kind of fear that every homosexual faced on a daily basis." He shook his head as he recalled the emotions he had felt while Hobbs knelt there like a sniveling coward. "He wasn't sorry at all for what he had done, and I knew that. But as he knelt there and looked up at me scared shitless, I only felt pity – and disgust – for him. I pulled the gun out of his mouth and told him to get inside his house and never tell the police what had happened. Cody was furious with me for not pulling the trigger. But then I realized if I had, I would have been no better than Hobbs was. I gave Cody the gun and turned to walk away. He started spewing a litany of curses at me, but I didn't look back. And I never did anything else with the Pink Posse again after that. " 

Brian had already been aware of this – Justin had finally opened up to him some years back and told him everything – but he still could not help feeling angry even now that Justin had placed himself in such a dangerous position. 

"My God, Justin," Jennifer murmured in disbelief. "You could have been killed." 

Carl interrupted her to inform them, "I had reason recently to do some research on Cody Bell, as a matter of fact, for a case. Bell has been in prison since June, 2005 for illegal possession of firearms and four counts of assault. He will have to stay in prison for a minimum of ten years. As far as Chris Hobbs goes…after talking to Debbie here, I did some checking up on him, and found some rather disturbing information regarding him as well." 

"What sort of information?" Brian queried, clearly worried. 

Carl brushed his hand through his mainly-bald head as he retrieved a small, spiral-bound notebook from his jacket pocket and read off some information. "In 2001, while he was fulfilling some of his 500 hours of community service at Allegheny Hospital, a young patient who was the same age as Justin died from what they decided was respiratory failure. He had been recovering well at the time from some injuries he had received in an auto accident, so his death stunned the doctors who had been treating him. He died on one of the days that Hobbs was there. Then, in 2002, a male student who was in one of Hobbs' classes in college – blond, blue-eyed, and reportedly gay – accused him of rape during a party held off campus. A week later, though, the boy dropped out of school and withdrew his complaint against him."

Continuing to read from his notes, Carl went on to add, "Then, in 2003 he was involved in a case of alleged harassment of a gay couple and their two friends. The case was settled out of court when Hobbs' attorney provided compensation to the couple for their 'inconvenience' in exchange for allowing the charges to be dropped."

"I'm seeing a pattern here," Brian muttered in disgust.   
"During the same period, Hobbs was hospitalized himself for treatment of a drug addiction and for manic and psychotic episodes. In 2004, he began working for his father's construction company, which was where you and Cody apparently encountered him. Not too long after he started there, some of the other employees began to complain that he was verbally abusing them and harassing them on the job, but again, the employees who went so far as to file a formal complaint with the Equal Employment Commission eventually opted to settle out of court with him." 

He licked his lips to wet them as he continued. "And then there were his girlfriends. They all seemed to wind up at the hospital emergency room from time to time, claiming that they had been 'clumsy' at home and had either accidentally fallen down the steps, ran into a door, or tripped on a piece of furniture. While nothing could be proven, they all had HIM in common as a boyfriend. And last but not least, in 2005 he returned to rehab twice for treatment, disappearing two months before the attack on Babylon, and then his trail grows completely cold. As far as we can tell, he hasn't been seen in the past four years. The last record of anyone seeing him is you, Brian, in that photograph from this morning. Even his father claims he doesn't know where he is; he's offering a $50,000 reward for information that leads to his whereabouts." Carl was quiet for a moment, letting all the information sink in, before he turned to Brian to admonish him. "You should have told me about Hobbs this morning." 

Brian nodded. "I know," he admitted as he glanced over at Justin. "But I was more worried about getting to Justin and making sure he was safe." He was rewarded with a grateful smile from his former lover as Debbie spoke up, unable to contain her anger.

"Well, if I found the bastard, I wouldn't care about the reward," she retorted. "I'd bring his fucking head in on a silver platter instead." 

Carl sighed. "Debbie, please," he scolded her as he turned to face Justin. "I think the most worrisome part to all this is that he seems to have a fixation on you, Justin. Most of Hobbs' victims have been men close to you in age and with very similar physical characteristics." 

Justin swallowed hard as he nodded. It certainly seemed that way. "What do you think I should do?" he asked Carl. 

"That's easy," Jennifer spoke up. "He needs to stay with Molly and me." 

Carl shook his head. "With all due respect, Jennifer, I don't think that's wise. You could only offer limited protection to him. He needs some place where there is better security." He turned to peer over at Brian, noting that he was still protectively holding Justin's hand in his. 

"I think the safest place at the moment, for Justin, is here with Brian. That is, if Brian is in agreement."

Brian could not entirely hide his pleased smile. "No problem," he assured him. 

Justin's mouth fell open in protest. "But I do not agree," he told everyone. "I'm heading back to New York." 

Carl shook his head. "No, New York is not feasible any longer, Justin. We don't know where Hobbs is, and we do not know what he wants from you – or what his culpability is in the bombing. The latest information we have from over four years ago doesn't even indicate he's still alive now. But until we can verify if he IS alive – and where he's been these past four years – you might not even be safe in New York. The Pitts is a much smaller area to cover, so you will be better protected here. And Jennifer," he added as he turned to look at her, "I think for the time being you and Molly should find somewhere else to stay as well." 

"Carl, surely that's not necessary…"

"I think it is," he told her tersely. "With the anniversary on Friday, and all the publicity surrounding the benefit, your safety and your daughter Molly's are of the utmost concern to me. Please go along with my recommendation – for your daughter's sake as well as your son's." He could see Justin's concern etched clearly on his face as he peered over at him, noticing that Brian continued to grip his hand in support. 

"Honey…Jen," Debbie spoke up. "You and Molly can stay at my house – I have Michael's old room that Sunshine used that's empty right now." 

Michal huffed. "Why don't we just rechristen my room as the "Taylor Room" in their honor?" he groused. "Ow!" he yelped as his mother gave him a not-so-gentle slap on the side of his head. "Ma! That hurt!" 

"That's because it was meant to," she told him curtly. "This is serious, Michael. This is no time for fucking jokes. Their safety is at stake, and I have the room to accommodate them. End of discussion." 

"Debbie…that is very generous of you," Jennifer told her. "But I don't want to impose." 

"Nonsense!" she reassured her. "You won't be disturbing anyone. Don't listen to Michael's melodrama. Carl won't mind, either…Right, Carl?" 

"No, of course not," he assured her with a polite smile. "I think that's a good idea, actually." 

Justin pulled his hand away from Brian as everything abruptly hit him all at once. All these plans that had to be made….just to keep his own family from harm. "It's all my fault!" he cried out in anguish. "People – innocent people who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time – have died or were hurt because of me!" 

"Justin…" Brian tried to reason with him, but he wasn't listening as he walked away to stand over by the expanse of windows overlooking the street, wondering if even up HERE he was safe from Hobbs. 

 

Brian quietly walked up to him from behind and attempted to slide his arms around his waist in a gesture of comfort, but Justin shrugged him off. 

Debbie, however, wasn't going to be so easily rebuffed. She walked up to her young friend and grasped his hands in hers as he lifted his gaze to look into her kindly, blue eyes. 

"Listen to me, Sunshine!" she began gently, noticing his eyes glistening. "You are not to blame if a crazy homophobic, closeted boy fell in love with you." Justin opened his mouth to try and deny that wasn't true, but he just as quickly closed it again. He suspected deep down that Debbie was right. Hobbs had enjoyed that blowjob he had given him way too much…and it was often said that there was a fine line between hate and passion. 

"You can't be responsible for the horrible things that other people do. Chris Hobbs should be rotting in jail right now for what he did to you after the prom. If the law had been just, he would have never had the chance to inflict any more pain on anyone. None of this would have happened, and there would be no need for us to have this conversation. You were almost killed that night, Justin," she reminded him softly as Brian winced nearby at the recollection. "You can't take this burden on all by yourself; it's not fair – and we won't let you. Do you hear me?" 

Justin finally nodded as Debbie pulled the young man she loved as her own son into a tight hug; his own arms sliding around her ample body as he sniffled against her chest like a young child craving comfort from his mother. Pulling back after several seconds, Debbie placed a kiss on his cheek and smiled at him lovingly before he nodded again and walked closer to the window, pressing his left palm against the cool of the glass as he quietly wept over those that had been lost. The pain in his chest was almost indescribable; all he wanted at that moment was to wake up and find out that it was just another one of the endless nightmares that had plagued him after the prom. But he knew this one was all too real, and that made it even worse. 

Brian and Jennifer both began to walk toward him, but Debbie stood in front of them and silently shook her head no. "No...He needs a little time alone to digest all this." They reluctantly acquiesced to her plea and opted, instead, to take a seat on the couch nearby to quietly keep an eye on him. 

The relative quiet of the loft was interrupted a few minutes later when Justin's cellphone rang.

Wiping the tears from his face, he sought to compose himself before he noticed who it was and answered. "Johnny." 

"Hey, Jus! Where are you?" was the soft inquiry.

"I'm in Pittsburgh," he told him, unable to put too much enthusiasm into his voice.

"Are you okay?" Johnny asked, trying to keep the worry out of his voice. 

"Yeah, I guess." That was all he was able to muster. "What about you, Tracy and Samantha?"

"We're fine…But we miss you."

Justin smiled a little at the sentiment as he told him, "You can come visit me in Pittsburgh anytime; Daphne, too."

"We'd like that," he answered softly, his response less than enthusiastic for some reason. "Justin, the reason why I'm calling is to find out what time Luke boarded his plane earlier today." 

Justin frowned. "His plane took off this morning around 10. Why, did something happen?" Instantly his body tensed. 

"Do you know where he left his car in New York?" was the quiet reply.

"In a garage near the airport; the one he always uses when he goes out of town. Johnny, spit it out! What aren't you telling me?" 

Brian realized that something is wrong and, quietly walking over to his ex-lover, he took the phone away from Justin before he had time to react.

"Johnny, this is Brian. Do you remember me?"

There was a pause on the other end. "Justin's ex?" 

Brian sighed as he tried to hide the sadness in his voice over the word 'ex.' "Yes. That's right. What's the problem with Luke?" 

"He – Luke went to retrieve his car in the parking garage around one p.m. from what the police told us."

"Police?" 

At the sound of the word 'police,' Justin's head whipped around in alarm. 

"Yeah. The car was apparently parked in an area that was dimly lit and fairly deserted. The parking garage had security cameras installed, but they had been vandalized the night before, and they hadn't had a chance to fix them yet. Well…The police said Luke was attacked with a blunt object – maybe a baseball bat – and he received several blows to the head, shoulders, and chest. He was discovered by someone around 2:45, still lying next to his car." 

"And…?" 

"Brian, I'm glad you're there with Justin. Because…They couldn't do anything for him. He was declared dead at the scene." 

Brian paled noticeably as he asked in a choked voice, "Is…Is there anything I can do?" 

"No, thanks…his family is working with the police and providing them with all the information they can. As you can imagine, though, they're pretty shaken up. If there's any other news, I'll be sure to call you. Give me a number to reach you at." Brian rattled off his cellphone number, along with his number at the loft and the main telephone number for Kinnetik, just in case. 

"Please call me if there's anything I can do," he told him, afraid to say too much yet in front of Justin. Justin…My God, how am I going to tell him this? 

"I will. And Brian…take care of Justin for us. He's going to need you right now." 

"Count on it," he told him softly before he flipped the phone shut and handed it back to Justin. 

"Brian…what's happened?" Justin whispered, desperation to know in his eyes. "Tell me!" 

"Shh…" Brian tried to soothe him, dreading what he had to do, but knowing it had to be done. "I..I need something to drink." Before Justin could say anything, he spun around and headed toward the kitchen, leaving everyone wondering what was going on. Michael followed closely on his heels as Brian opened up the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of water, his hand shaking slightly as he unscrewed the top and took a large gulp to steady his nerves. How was he going to tell Justin?

"Brian, what is it?" Michael whispered, glancing over to see Justin staring at them intently, no doubt wondering what was going on. "You look like you've seen a ghost." 

"I don't like this, Carl," Debbie told him softly from nearby as she leaned toward him. "Something's wrong. Look at him. I can tell; he didn't get good news, I just know it." 

"Now don't jump to conclusions, Debbie," he gently warned her as Brian emerged from the kitchen with Michael close behind him.

"Brian?" Jennifer softly prodded him as she glanced over at her son. He was so vulnerable right now; she silently prayed that it wasn't more bad news. She didn't know how much more Justin could handle right now. 

"Brian, I don't know what's going on," Justin began. "But either you tell me what's happened right now, or I'm going to call Johnny back and ask him myself." 

Brian nodded in resignation, walking over to the couch to take a seat as he took one more swig of his water before placing it down on top of a coaster lying on the coffee table in front of him. "Come and sit down," he softly urged his ex-lover. 

Almost frozen with dread, Justin walked over and sat down beside him. His fears were heightened further as Brian reached to take his hand. "Justin…Johnny told me that someone in the parking garage discovered Luke lying next to his car around 2:45 this afternoon. He…he had been attacked with some sort of blunt instrument…"

"Blunt instrument?" Justin repeated almost in a daze. "What KIND of 'blunt instrument'?" 

"Well, the police aren't sure, but…"

"Oh, my God!" Justin cried out then, his mouth formed into an "o" shape as a horrible possibility emerged. "You mean…like maybe a baseball bat?" 

"Justin…okay, yeah…maybe. They don't know for sure. There were security cameras in the garage, but they wound up being vandalized sometime last night and the owners hadn't had a chance to repair them yet, so there was apparently no video showing the attack as it happened."

Justin's heart began to pound. "Was he hurt badly?" he whispered, but Brian remained silent as he tightened his hold on his hand. "Brian? Tell me! Did he have to go to the hospital?" 

"No…he….Justin, there wasn't any need." 

Justin sighed in relief. "Then it was just a minor injury…"

But Brian shook his head. "No, Sunshine," he told him gently. "He…He was…He was already dead when they found him." Justin recoiled in stunned disbelief as Brian added, "There wasn't anything they could do, Justin. I'm so sorry." 

"No…No, Brian, you're wrong!" he insisted. "You misunderstood him. Call him back. I want to talk to him. He'll tell you that you're mistaken. Luke is fine…I just saw him this morning, and he was fine. It's not him…No…"

But the look of sorrow on Brian's face belied his most fervent hope that this was all just another bad dream, and that none of it was true. "No…" he keened in horror as reality set in. "This can't be happening…"

"Justin…"

But Justin was no longer listening. He began to wail and the tears flooded down his cheeks as his entire body convulsed with sobs. Brian reached to pull him into his arms to try and console him, but Justin merely continued to flail against him. "No, no, no, no…..!" He fought against Brian's chest for several minutes, Brian patiently accepting whatever blows he wanted to inflict, until at last he fainted in Brian's arms and collapsed against him. 

 

Making sure Justin was okay and had merely fainted due to the stress, Brian scooted to lay down with him on the couch and held him, caressing his back as he vowed to never let him go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments would be appreciated.


	5. Provisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin remembers long-lost events from his past as they are forced to return to living together due to the circumstances that arise.

Justin was happy. After all was all said and done, he had to admit that Debbie and his mother had been right. He was having fun. He and Daphne had wound up dancing to several old songs on the dance floor of the hotel's ballroom. His friend was resplendent in her pink dress, and he flushed with embarrassment when she claimed that he was without a doubt the hottest guy at their prom. The two gossiped with glee about their schoolmates, deciding that some of the girls looked ridiculous in their dresses with hems barely covering their asses, while some of the guys who were wearing obscenely expensive designer tuxes and suits had lost all of their elegance – and their common sense – as they got more and more smashed on the booze-laced punch. Despite all the fun he was having, though, Justin, ever the hopeful optimist, kept peering over at the front door occasionally as the evening progressed, refusing to lose all hope that Brian might actually change his mind and appear, although he had no reason to believe that.  
Daphne actually was the one to see Brian first. She beamed when she recognized him. If Justin was the president of his fan club, then she was the leader of his home crowd. She started jumping happily and pointed him out to Justin, whose pulse began to race as soon as he saw him. Brian. He was gorgeous! His dark suit contrasted with the white silk scarf hung casually around his neck as he walked over, all eyes in the room focused on the handsome, older man. Justin's heart stopped for a moment as Brian kissed Daphne's cheek and she practically swooned over the gesture; Justin recalled how he had commented to Brian that he thought he wouldn't be caught dead in a 'room full of eighteen-year-olds,' to which his lover had explained that he had come 'to recover his lost youth' before he reached over to play with Justin's lapel. Brian had then gallantly asked Daphne if he could 'borrow her date,' before taking Justin's hand and leading him onto the dance floor.

The music that was playing was corny and ridiculously romantic as Brian took Justin in his arms and they began to smoothly glide across the dance floor, everyone silently parting to give them the entire area to themselves as they stood watching them, entranced. The lights twinkled above them as they danced, and they were the center of attention. But at that moment, neither of them noticed. They only had eyes for each other; it was as if nothing – or no one else – existed for them. As Brian held him in his arms, Justin couldn't remember another time when he had felt so completely happy.

Playing the bold seducer, Justin helped Brian shrug his jacket off before he saucily tossed it to Daphne as the two of them continued to dance across the polished, wooden floor. As the song came to an end, Justin laughed as Brian twirled him around before he slowly lowered him to the ground and their lips met for a deep, passionate kiss. 

On the way to the garage, Justin was still trying to convince himself that this night with Brian was actually happening. Both of them were goofily singing as Brian swung him around before Justin wound up with his back to the Jeep and Brian leaned in to kiss him, hesitating briefly as they gazed into each other's eyes. The tender, open look in his eyes melted Justin's heart before his eyes fluttered closed and Brian kissed him tenderly, lovingly. Brian threaded his hands through the fringed strands of the scarf, now worn by Justin, before he softly issued a promise of 'later' as, with a radiant smile and a laugh, Justin returned his goodbye and turned to meet back up with Daphne in the ballroom. He only managed to take a few steps, however, before he heard Brian calling his name – his voice full of panic – seconds before Chris Hobbs swung the bat toward his head, and then all he remembered was total darkness. Somehow through his haze of pain, even unconscious he heard Brian crying as he cradled his head in his lap...

Justin jerks awake then, terrified and covered in sweat. It takes him a few seconds to realize that he isn't lying on some hard, cold, cement floor, but at the loft, his head resting on his mother's lap with Brian and Debbie hovering nearby. Michael and Carl are also there, sitting in a couple of Brian's dining room chairs. All of them look over at him questioningly as he comes to, but he doesn't want to talk to anyone about what he had just remembered. Instead, he wordlessly rises off the couch and heads toward the bathroom, feeling nauseous. Tears run down his face as he stands in front of the bathroom mirror. Damn you, Hobbs! He cries out in misery. How much of his life had Hobbs stolen? And how much was he yet to steal?

He tears off his clothes in anger, opening the shower stall and turning the water on as hot as he could stand. As he steps inside a minute later, he lets the hot water cascade over his body and mix in with his tears. As he stands there, it can't help thinking how strange it felt to be here in the shower without Brian there with him.   
As he recalls past memories, he suddenly hears Brian calling out to him through the bathroom door.   
"Justin, are you okay?"

He sighs. "Yeah, I just wanted to take a shower. I'll be out in a minute." 

Turning off the water and emerging a few minutes later, he dries himself off before donning the same clothes, noticing everyone quietly eyeing him as he returns to the living room. Sitting down in one of Brian's stuffed chairs, Carl takes up residence nearby on the edge of the couch to peer over at him. He can sense by the look on his face that he isn't going to like what he is about to say, and he soon finds out that he is right. 

"Justin...Son," he begins quietly. "Before you even ask, I need to tell you that there is no possibility that you can return to New York City right now."  
"But I'm going to Luke's funeral!" Justin defiantly insists, already feeling guilty over what has happened. 

"Oh, no you’re not!" Brian, Jennifer, and Debbie all say in unison, almost like they had practiced it beforehand.

"We cannot guarantee your safety," Carl explains to him, trying no doubt to remain calm in hopes that he can further convince him of the foolhardiness of his plan.   
Justin tries to make them understand. "He…He wasn't just my boyfriend," he begins as he glances over a little awkwardly at Brian, who seems to wince slightly at the word. "He was my friend. I need to say goodbye to him. Can't you understand that?" 

Jennifer walks over and sits down next to Carl. "Of course we all understand," she softly tells him. "But right now, the most important thing is your safety, Honey. You cannot go to New York right now, that's all there is to it. What if something happens to you? We couldn't live with that. Justin, this is Chris Hobbs we're talking about here."  
Brian rubs his hand over his face as Justin bristles. "I know that, Mom!" he snaps, still feeling like they're all treating him like a child. "But Luke died because of ME."   
Jennifer glances over at Debbie, silently asking for help as the older woman sits down in the chair directly opposite Justin. He knows that look well; it's the same look she bestowed on him right after he told her that his mom and dad were getting a divorce, and he blamed himself for that situation, too.

Sure enough, she gazes over at him as she softly states, "Sunshine, we already told you that you are not responsible for what that asshole did. You are not guilty of anything. Unfortunately, your friend was another victim of that crazy, homophobic bigot just like you were." Her voice breaks slightly as she adds, "Just like Michael was, too, and all the others that were there that night. Justin, he has to be stopped – but you also need to listen to Carl and let him protect you. Please, Sunshine. If not for your sake…Then for ours." 

Michael unexpectedly speaks up then as he adds from his place over by the window, "Justin, listen to what Carl and my mom are saying. If…if you don't want to stay here," Michael states, glancing over a little uncomfortably at Brian, "…then you are welcome to stay at my house with Ben and me. We have JR's room empty right now, since she's visiting Mel for a while." He lets out a deep breath as he tells him ruefully, "I know I can be a real idiot sometimes. I'm…sorry for what I said earlier," he grumbles.  
Justin nods, realizing there are more important problems to address right now than Michael being his old, familiar, surly self. He sighs. "It's all right, Michael. I know you didn't mean it. We're all pretty stressed out right now. I…appreciate the offer," he adds as Michael nods back at him. 

"Yeah…thanks, Mikey," Brian speaks up then, a sharp edge to his voice. "But Justin isn't going anywhere. He's staying here."   
Justin shakes his head in disbelief. "Excuse me. But I can decide what to do without any interference from you."

"I'm only saying that…"

Carl speaks up before things got out of hand, brushing his bald head with his hand restlessly as he tells them, "It's better in my opinion that Justin remains here. There are better security measures in place here already, and we can better keep him under surveillance here than we could in a more open environment like a stand-alone residence. And I plan on keeping a visible police presence here at all times to deter Hobbs from doing anything drastic. As long as he knows that Justin is under police protection, there's no way he can harm him." 

"Then it's settled, then," Brian responds before Justin can change his mind. "Justin will stay here with me, his mother and Molly will stay with you and Deb, and Michael will return home to his happy little homo haven with Ben and Hunter. Right?" 

Justin sighs. "I don't have any other option?" He knows deep down that he doesn’t – that this is the best choice – but he still doesn't like being told what to do.

Carl shakes his head. "No, frankly, this is your only option at the moment – the only realistic one, anyway. By the way, I've already contacted NYPD and sent them photographic evidence and documents on file regarding Hobbs and the bombing. I've been told that they've already collected DNA samples from the crime scene that did not belong to your friend. They will be comparing those to the DNA sample we had on file with Hobbs from your assault. If they are able to confirm a match, a warrant will be issued for his arrest. They will also be getting the FBI involved, since this involves multiple-state offenses." 

"So you DO think he's connected with the bombing, then."

Carl shrugs. "Probably. For now, we only need to confirm his presence at the site to bring him in for questioning. Thanks to Brian here, it's already been proven that he WAS at the scene at least after the bombing occurred. So if we can establish his whereabouts prior to the bombing and prove that he had the opportunity to set the bomb, I think it's safe to say that we can seek an indictment. He certainly had the motive for it – and with him working for his father at construction sites, I would also say he had the means to do it." 

Justin stands up, placing his hand at the back of his neck as he feels the knots of stress there. "This is like a never-ending nightmare!" he exclaims as he closes his eyes briefly and lets out a deep breath to try and calm himself. 

"So you've decided to stay here, Justin?" his mother asks hopefully. 

 

"Seems like I don't have a choice," he says softly as he nods in resignation, a collective sigh of relief heard from the others in response. 

"I think that's a wise choice," Carl tells him as he nods. "Okay...I'll go get everything put into motion," he tells him. "Let's get going," he instructs the others. "I need to set up a perimeter of security around this place – and I'll assign some patrols for around your house while I'm not there," he tells Debbie, "…and also your house as well," he advises Michael, who nods. He looks over at Brian. "In the meantime, it goes without saying that you need to set the alarm as soon as we leave…and don't let ANYONE you don't know up here without checking with me first…understood?" 

Brian nods as everyone bids him and Justin goodbye, leaving the loft inexplicably quiet a few seconds later as the door closes behind them. Jennifer promises to have one of the policeman drop off some of Justin's things a little later as Brian immediately engages the security system as soon as they leave.   
As he turns around, his and Justin's eyes meet as he asks, "Do you…need anything?" 

Justin shakes his head, so much meaning in so little words. "No, I'm fine," he says quietly as he turns and walks over to the expansive windows to gaze out onto the street below, his mind a jumble of thoughts. He stands there for several minutes until he hears Brian softly walk up to join him. He turns around to notice his ex-partner holding out a sketchpad and a charcoal pencil. "I…found these in the closet. Guess you had left it here. I thought you might want them." 

Justin is secretly touched by Brian's thoughtfulness as he nods, accepting the proffered tools as he walks over to the couch and sits down, flipping open the sketchpad. He recognizes some old sketches of Brian and Gus, as well as some landscapes from the local park as he turns to a blank page. It isn't long before he is lost in his drawing, oblivious to Brian's watchful eyes. 

After one of Carl's men makes good on Jennifer's promise to drop off some of his things, the rest of the afternoon is spent in silence between the two men as Justin continues to sketch while Brian retreats to his desk to work on his laptop. At one point, Brian wordlessly hands Justin a bottle of water from the fridge before returning to his work, but except for that they spend their time awkwardly alone, avoiding conversation.

Finally, around 5 p.m. Brian shuts his laptop down and scoots back from his desk chair to stretch, peering over at Justin who is hunched over his sketchpad. Walking over to his side, he asks, "I'm getting hungry. What would you like to eat?" 

But Justin remains silent, just like he had remained silent that one day when Brian had tried on clothes in front of the bedroom mirror as he prepared to head out to Babylon; that had not been a pleasant time for them, but they had eventually learned to work it out, just like he hopes they will this time. He knows one thing no matter what, however; he is NOT going to allow Justin to retreat into a shell of guilt or self-pity.

"What?" he finally asks. Are you taking a vow of silence now?" He stands there with his hands on his hips as Justin remains silent except for the soft scratching of his pencil on the paper. Brian can't help noticing how his bangs fall into his eyes. He thinks briefly about sitting next to him, simply to push that soft, golden hair back from his face, but he knows that gesture would not be received well. 

He finally huffs heavily as he growls, "Fine! If you get hungry, you have your cellphone. Call and have the damn food delivered yourself!" Shaking his head, he turns and heads toward the bedroom, shutting the accordion doors so he doesn't have to see him anymore. Reaching for a smoke, he lies back on his bed and takes a puff to try and calm himself. It was going to be a long night…

Justin peers over at the shuttered room, wondering why he is being so nasty to Brian. He is only trying to help him, and he is being shitty to him. Even he doesn't understand why; he just knows his emotions are raw and jumbled. He swallows the lump in his throat before closing his sketchbook and laying it, along with the pencil, down onto the coffee table. Reaching behind him to grab a thin, fleece throw from the back of the couch, he curls up into a ball on his side and huddles under it, wondering when his life will start to feel normal again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments would be appreciated.


	6. Healing Process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Justin have a frank and enlightening discussion...

Brian's POV

I look at Justin from my place behind the kitchen island and I wonder. What can I do? I don't like this silent treatment one bit; it is strange and foreign to me, at least when it comes to him. I prefer him talking incessantly like he used to do about anything and everything that popped into his head; sometimes even when I didn't want to hear it but needed to hear it.  
I have no one to blame but myself, though, because this abyss is of my own doing; I have been the engineer who has built it. Has it been worth it, though?  
Peering over at him, I realize what I had lost before. I had lost everything I had tried to convince myself that I could live without. I almost have to laugh at the absurdity of it. How did I think I could live without this? Without him? He's so close right now, but at the same time so far away. How can I live with him here without touching him, without feeling the need to wrap him in my arms and protect him, without feeling his body so close to mine? 

Justin's POV

I glance over at Brian, feeling his heated stare on me. I know he wants to talk to me, to know how I am and how I am feeling. But inside I feel vulnerable and disgusted with myself. Once again it's 'poor Justin who cannot get rid of his ghosts from the past.' With Brian, I'm still that seventeen-year-old kid, the one he feels he has an obligation to protect just because I lost my virginity to him. I know he still feels something for me. Everything we had experienced before was too intense to just be swept under the rug. The truth is, though, he had kicked me out of his life and put me in another place, another reality. He had stopped loving me that way that I needed him to; the way that I wanted him to.   
But now here we are and here I am, bringing all this shit back into his life. I hate feeling so incapable, so helpless. I hate that people see me as the teenager that I was, not the man that I have become. I’m an adult now; I have faced the world head-on, and I have learned from my mistakes and from my pain. But to my friends and family – and even to Brian – I am still 'old, pathetic, love-struck Justin' who had his head bashed in by Chris Hobbs, the poster child for homophobia. I know if I stay here with Brian, I am going to go crazy. Damn it, though, I still love him with all my heart, and my body screams to be in his arms again, especially after what happened earlier. I silently make a vow to myself to talk with Carl tomorrow and find some other solution, ANY solution to get away from this situation. I simply cannot go through this all over again.   
I had finally remembered our dance. I had asked, I had prayed for that to happen so many times before. But now it's too late. We are no longer the same people. Somehow we got lost along the way. Brian loved me back then, and perhaps even loves me now. But after all that has happened, I know there is no chance for us. It's all over; I know that. 

Fuck! I can't stop thinking about all that is happening. I need sleep so badly. I want this day to end soon, but it seems to go on indefinitely...My thoughts wander to everything that has happened. I know that Debbie has told me none of it is my fault, but is that the truth? I humiliated Hobbs in front of Woody's that day in clear sight and hearing of his friends, telling them how he had let me jack him off. I was the one that had stuck a gun in Hobb's mouth and scared him so shitless that he actually pissed in his pants in abject fear. Was that perhaps the last straw that drove him to do what he did that night at Babylon? What he did to Luke? I know now that not only had I embarrassed him, I possibly encouraged him to do what he did. He may well have killed people, including Luke, and almost Michael, because of me. And if he IS guilty of that, why would he stop there? I realize with startling clarity that Brian isn't safe, either; if anything, he is even more at risk than anyone else, because Hobbs knows about our past relationship. He knows it ALL too well.  
No...The thought of Brian being hurt or worse fills me with horror. I can't let anything happen to him. I WON'T let anything happen to him. I would rather die first myself than let any harm come to him because of me. No, I have to protect HIM now...But how? My eyes begin to fill with tears over what I have lost – and what I still could lose. Before I even realize it, the tears trickling down my face transform into soft sobs as everything starts to overwhelm me.   
Brian looks up from his place in the kitchen, startled by the quiet sounds of distress he is hearing. He quickly gets up and walks back into the living room, a worried frown on his brow. "Why are you crying, Justin? Let me help you."

Justin angrily brushes the wetness from his cheeks with his sleeve, embarrassed by his childishness. "You don't have to help me, Brian; I'm not your responsibility. Excuse me for making a fucking mess of your life!" He knows, though, that his anger isn't directed at Brian, but at himself.   
"Excuses aren't worth shit, Justin!" Brian retorts. He sighs as he brushes his hand through his hair in agitation. He doesn't like feeling out of control, and right now he distinctly feels like he's driving without a road map. So he does the only thing he can think of – he tries to lighten his former partner's mood as he replies, "Besides, my life's been pretty dull lately; but you sure know how to shake things up, though."   
Justin raises his head to peer up at him. "You?" he asks with a sniffle, incredulous. "Since when did your life become dull?" 

Brian replies honestly, "Since a certain blonde is no longer a part of it."  
Justin's eyes flash as the veil of hurt falls back down over his face. "Just stop it, Brian! We both know what happened."

Brian's brow lifts; he can't make this too easy on him. It simply isn't his way. "What happened?"

Justin huffs in disbelief. "You left me for Matt! Does that ring a bell?" 

"Uh, huh. Then tell me where he is." He makes a show of looking around the loft as if the other guy were lost.  
Justin snorts. "He probably gave up when he realized how many different tricks you were able to have sex with in a week's time."   
Brian clucks with his tongue. "For someone who always bragged about getting a 1,500 on his SAT, you sure have trouble seeing what's around you - or NOT around you."   
"Just what are you getting at, Brian?" Justin asks wearily; he is tired of playing all these games.

Brian walks over and sits down next to him on the couch, making sure he stays at the other end. "Think, Sunshine! You always told me that you had managed to decipher the great Brian Kinney manual after Mikey had created it. What do you think I'm getting at?" 

"Are you trying to imply that this Matt guy was just a temporary device to force me to leave? That you were just using him?" He harrumphs. "Well, I admit, that wouldn't surprise me. You always WERE good at manipulating people." 

"I'm not implying anything," Brian replies stiffly. "And I don't do insinuations. But sometimes other people have trouble seeing what's right in front of them."  
"Why?!" Justin explodes at Brian then, expelling the anger and pain that has accumulated. "Why did you hurt me like that?"

Brian takes a deep breath before he explains, "Your agent called me and said you didn't want to go to Europe and were returning to Pittsburgh. I knew the day would come when you would regret that, and I couldn't live with you second-guessing yourself. And I knew that your stubbornness wouldn't allow you to listen to the voice of reason, so I decided you needed an incentive to do that right thing."   
"So you threw me under the bus, just like when you indicated you wanted to see only me, and when you started spouting all that domestic bullshit; it was just to get me to leave." It wasn't a question, more like a statement.   
Brian shrugs. "Well, it worked, didn't I? You became very successful as a result, didn't you? You 'conquered the art world with your talent.'   
"Cut out the melodrama!" Justin snaps as Brian sighs.   
"Justin, you became everything that I knew you could be after that; and more."   
Justin stands up before whirling around to face his former partner, brushing his hand restlessly through his hair. "Well, kudos to the great Brian Kinney! You got what you wanted, didn't you? You turned your damaged-goods boyfriend who constantly harassed and stalked you into the newest darling of the international art world! Well, did you ever stop to consider what I wanted? Did it ever cross your mind to question what MY dreams were? Well?"  
"New York was your dream! Your art has always meant everything to you, Justin."  
Justin blows out an exasperated breath. "How many times do I have to say this? New York has NEVER been 'my dream'! If it was anyone's, it was yours and Lindsay's!"  
"I did not hear you complaining when you left for New York," Brian quietly points out.  
"What do you want me to say, Brian? You were acting weird like you were in acting in some post-traumatic, dark comedy, but I didn't have the script. I thought I needed to get away and not go through with our wedding so you would go back to the Brian that I knew, not the doting, sappy, romantic boyfriend that you were pretending to be. I tried to tell you I wasn't happy when you came to see me and that I wanted to return, but you talked me out of it. You told me what a great artist I was going to become there, and how proud you were of my striking out on my own. How brave I was to be there in the 'big city,' confronting all the challenges that I would be facing. I could see how proud you were of me, Brian. And I wanted you to be proud of me. The only reason why I stayed there was because I didn't want to disappoint YOU. I wanted to succeed for YOU. So I kept silent about my misgivings for the next two years while we managed to stay together, even though I was lonely and miserable there without you. God, I missed you so fucking much; and my mother and Molly. And Daphne, Debbie, and everyone else. But never once did I tell you that. And never once did I tell you how many times I woke up at night, screaming and shaking with sweat pouring down over me because of some fucking nightmare I was having, and wanting so badly for you to be there, to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay!"   
"Justin…" Brian's mouth was open in dismay. Just the thought of the man he still loved having to go through all that alone filled him with deep regret.  
"No, let me finish, Brian!" Justin growls, his eyes flashing with a mixture of hurt and anger. "Never once did I even think of telling you any of that, because if I did, I thought you wouldn't be proud of me anymore. And I wanted that most of all."   
Brian appears incredulous. "Sunshine, I, how…How could you even think that I would never be proud of you! Shit! I've always been proud of you! How brave you are, how creative and passionate you are, how intelligent and beautiful you are…I've always believed in you; don’t you know that? I really thought by pushing you away that I was doing what was best for you."  
Justin shakes his head sadly. "Brian, how could you even think I could DO my 'best' if I wasn't with you? You were always my inspiration for my art. If you weren't there, I could NEVER have done my best. Can't you see that?"   
Brian closes his eyes briefly, realizing his tactical error. "I guess I really fucked up, didn't I?" he murmurs at last as Justin lifts on eyebrow toward him in a distinct, 'duh' expression. He swallows; apologies are always nearly impossible for him to express aloud. "I guess I didn't realize how wrong I was. Yeah, I should have listened to you. But you're so much younger than I. I figured….I assumed that one day you would find someone else more your age that was able to love you the way you needed to be loved. Someone more worthy of you than me - or that asshole violinist."   
Justin harrumphs. "What a crock of shit, Brian! I TOLD you that after we got back together! You've always loved me the way that I needed to be loved, the way that I wanted. You always gave me anything that I could ask for. I thought you realized that after I left Ethan and came back to you." He's astounded that they even needed to have this conversation again.  
"I still have hope that your need to fuck every hot guy from Pittsburgh will pass someday and that you might decide to commit to just one person. I always wanted to be that person, Brian, ever since the day I first met you. I know now that you even before you could say the words out loud that you loved me. And you already know that I loved you from the very first night we met." He shakes his head, unable to deny it any longer. "And…And the thought of something happening to you now…Well, I can't think of living without you!" He takes in a deep breath to steady himself and lets it out between slightly parted lips as he confesses, "Damn it, I still love you!"  
Brian's heart soars at those words, and he can't hold his own feelings any longer. He stands up to face him as he replies, "Justin…Me, too; Shit, I love you so fucking much."   
That is all Justin needs to hear as he throws himself into Brian's open arms, tired of fighting his feelings and emotions. He can understand in a way what Brian's motives had been. After all, he had been raised by two people who had no right to even BE parents. He had told him that even during Christmas, he had never known what the true meaning of love or happiness was. He had been deprived of such emotions, at least until he had found Michael as a best friend and Debbie, who had become his surrogate mother and practically smothered him with the love he had been craving for so long. Vic, too, no doubt had provided him with the capacity to recognize love, but even all that couldn't quite break through his ex-partner's insecurity when it came to feeling love. By then he had convinced himself that he didn't deserve to be loved. He had managed to break through Brian's shell somewhat, but his period with Ethan definitely hadn't helped, nor had his falling for Brian's ruse regarding Matt and leaving for New York.   
But Brian, perhaps more than anyone, needs to be loved, just like everyone else. And Justin is determined going forward to prove to Brian just how much he DOES love him. He knows it will never be easy to love him; but as Brian kisses him and holds him in his arms so protectively now, he knows that it will be worth it to not only love Brian Kinney, but also to be loved by such a complex man as he.   
Brian forgets the last time he has felt as happy as he does right now as he kisses Justin, but he's sure the last moment would have been with him. This is the man he loves. Justin has always been the only one who was able to love him the way that he wanted to be loved. For the past nine years, during good as well as bad times, Justin had been there. He had never given up on him, and their lives had been intertwined so closely that he knew they would forever share a deep bond between them. He always struggled to admit it out loud – not really knowing how to say the words or be open about his feelings – but deep down he knew he could never live without Justin in his life. Justin's radiance gave him color, warmth, brightness, and direction.   
Brian has been miserable without having Justin in his life the past two years. Only he has managed to show him what happiness truly means, but like an idiot he had thrown it all away. Now, however, he has been given another chance. He is here – in his arms, kissing him, touching, loving him. And he swears that he is never going to let him go again.   
The kiss becomes deeper as they head toward the bed; somehow they manage to keep kissing and touching at the same time they are hastily discarding their clothing along the way. Brian can't help staring at Justin moments later as he lies naked in his bed. The vision of his light skin contrasting with the dark sheets is amazing and only serves to increase his lust even further. So perfect... There is no other way to define the vision he is seeing at that moment. He crawls onto the bed to drape his body over his lover's, needing the feel of skin on skin. They kiss again, more passionately.

There is no urgency this time. They touch, kiss and explore every inch of skin of each other's skin, relearning the angles, the sensations, the secret, erotic places each man possesses as they rediscover how to give and receive pleasure through their hands, mouths, fingers, tongues and teeth.  
Luxuriating in the taste of Justin's cock in his mouth, Brian savors the unique, salty/sweet taste that he had feared he would never experience again as he hears Justin's soft sighs of pleasure from above. He increases the tempo and pressure as he feels the cock throb in his mouth, realizing that his lover's orgasm is near. Soon Justin's body tenses as he cries out with a loud, guttural moan and shoots down Brian's throat, his fingers clutched in Brian's hair as Brian swallows every delectable drop.

Brian licks his lips, his chest heaving up and down as he slides up Justin's body to share his essence with him. Nobody in all of his sexual encounters had ever satisfied him the way that Justin does, and no one has ever made him feel such enjoyment. He realizes with startling clarity that somewhere along the line, the apprentice has surpassed the master. Now is the time for Brian to prove to his lover just how much he affects him.   
He smiles down lazily at Justin's sheen-covered face as he steals one more kiss from the warm, soft lips. He will never grow tired of kissing him. Reaching to grab a condom and a small tube of lube from the nightstand next to the bed, he hands both of them to his younger lover. Justin eyes him curiously as he explains with a husky whisper, "I want you to feel you inside me, Justin."   
Justin hides his surprise as he smiles at Brian with one of his thousand-watt smiles and simply nods before he leans up on his elbows to grab one more kiss. He realizes the enormity of what Brian is doing. For him to surrender his dominance and control to him is one of the greatest ways that Brian can demonstrate to him how much he loves and trusts him without having to say the words. He knows that Brian has never allowed this with anyone except him since the day they had met, and that knowledge fills him with extreme gratitude and satisfaction.  
Knowing how long it has been since Brian has allowed this concession, Justin makes sure to prepare him carefully, first swirling his tongue around the tight, puckered opening and soliciting some moans of pleasure from his lover as he slides the flattened part inside. Generously slathering some of the lubricant onto his fingers next, he kisses Brian before sliding one finger and then two inside to replace his tongue, scissoring and stretching the extremely constrictive space. At last, the two fingers are joined by a third as Justin's lips latch onto Brian's cock at the same time and he begins to suckle him in earnest, causing Brian to lose all coherent thought and surrender, instead, to the extreme pleasure rushing through him.   
Massaging Brian's prostate, Justin feels his lover's muscles begin to relax as he reaches to slide the condom over his cock and take possession of the body that he loves so much. At that moment, words - and not even his art - can completely express the emotions that he is feeling as Brian surrenders to him so totally.   
Justin could well be the most talented artist of his generation, as several critics have already pointed out, but now he is totally unable to express how he feels at that moment. He is surrounded by the heat of Brian's body. Brian is his. He is in charge of both of their pleasure, and Justin is determined to give Brian the maximum amount possible. Slowly but firmly Justin pushes inside, marveling at the heat and the tightness he finds there.  
As Justin thrusts inside him, Brian can't help being grateful for what a considerate but powerful lover he has. When it comes to their making love, Justin is attentive and responsive to his needs, only pushing in further as he indicates his readiness for it. But he also knows exactly what to do to take him to the heights of pleasure as he can't help the loud moan that escapes as Justin begins to expertly hit his prostrate time and time again. Brian would never admit this to anyone else - not even Justin himself - but he loves the feeling of Justin inside of him, taking him, making him his. He had bottomed rarely when he was a teenager with a few guys in college - and then only one time each with them - but after he had established his dominant reputation on Liberty Avenue, everyone knows not to even broach the subject with him. They all seem to inherently know that he would never consider being on the receiving end of anyone's cock. But then along comes Justin. He soon finds that Justin has a sexual appetite and stamina to match his own, and he slowly begins to knock down all of his previous barriers.   
Even now, he can clearly recall the first time he let Justin top him, after that fiasco with Sap and after he had finally come to his senses and accepted his offer of financial help. Ever since he had first seen Justin fucking that twink after winning the King of Babylon contest (Sean? Shaun? Who cares, he decided) he had been curious about experiencing it himself. He thought at the time that it was one of the most erotic things he had ever seen, and for the first time, he began to wonder just what it would feel like to be possessed by his horny, insatiable lover. The morning after Sap's party, then, seemed like the perfect opportunity to take advantage of his curiosity, and Justin hadn't disappointed him. It turned out that Justin had been a pro at it; he had never felt such pleasure before from allowing himself to submit to someone else. For the first time, he realized why other men would gladly bottom for his young lover. Not that he would ever do it on a regular basis, but at least with Justin he knows he will keep that secret to himself, and he knows whenever he DID feel a need to 'scratch his itch,' Justin would more than fill that role superbly.   
Obviously, his boy has learned what he needs to know initially from him and has used that to perfect his own technique, but there is something else about how Justin fucks him; something unique and so incredible about his own style that Brian is forced to concede secretly to himself that Justin is perhaps even better at it than he is. Of course, he would NEVER admit that to anyone in a million years, but his lover had definitely taken his lessons to heart and is a master at it now. The teacher may have finally been surpassed by the student, but it didn't bother him at all as long as he is the recipient of it.  
Justin's tempo speeds up as his own desires begin to overtake him; as he continues to plunge into Brian's body, he looks deeply into his eyes and kisses his mouth, nibbling on his jaw and his neck as he feels Brian's impending climax approaching. Brian begins to moan louder over the sensory overload of Justin's cock, lips, and hands. "Justin - harder…faster!" he growls out a demand as Justin willingly obeys, increasing the angle and depth of his thrusts as finally Brian erupts beneath him, shuddering over his release. The knowledge that Brian has derived so much pleasure from his ministrations is enough to send Justin over the edge as well as he plunges in a couple more times before crying out Brian's name loudly and exploding into the condom.  
Justin lies on top of him then, spent and exhausted by the exertion as he rests his head on Brian's shoulder and tries to regulate his erratic breathing. Brian hugs him tightly to his body, refusing to let him move and slowly stroking his back lovingly, their body heat still radiating between them. He kisses Justin's sweaty forehead as he hears his lover whisper, "Brian…I love you," and he knows he will never grow tired of hearing that; of being with him again.  
"I love you, too, Sunshine," he murmurs as he feels Justin slowly drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Your comments are very welcome to me.


	7. Save the Last Dance for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares return. Brian tries to help Justin relax. Reality and dreams intermingle, raising Justin's fears.

Brian lights a cigarette as he lies on his back. Sensing a slight movement next to him, he turns his head to peer over at the beautiful face of his lover, watching to see if he is, indeed, stirring. His impression is confirmed a few seconds later when he sees the golden eyelashes flutter and Justin's eyes open. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he teases him as Justin smiles at him drowsily. He silently realizes that isn't too far from the truth as he takes a brief moment to savor being with him again.  
"How long have I been asleep?" Justin asks as he stretches his arms above his head.   
Brian peers into his eyes. "About four hours," he tells him as he reaches over to tenderly brush some bangs away from his lover's forehead. Justin nods as Brian studies his face, wondering if now is the right time to press him on what had upset him earlier. He finally takes the plunge as he asks softly, "Will you tell me why you were so upset earlier, Justin? You do understand that none of this is any of your fault…Right?"  
Justin's face begins to cloud over. "Brian, no matter what Debbie told me before - I'm still guilty. You know that."   
Brian's face darkens in anger. "Bullshit; I know nothing of the kind. How can you be blamed for what that asshole Hobbs did? He's in all likelihood a killer, Justin!" He curls his hand around Justin's jaw, his fingers slowly stroking the slightly-stubbled skin there in an attempt to soothe his lover, but it is not working.   
"I teased him, Brian! I challenged him in front of his friends at Woody's and told all of them how I had given him a hand job at school and how much he loved it. He was humiliated. I should have known how angry he was by how he kept harassing me at school afterward. And then when I joined the Pink Posse, I put a fucking gun in his mouth and made him piss in his pants in front of Cody." He lets out a deep breath. "That must have been the worst feeling of all for someone like him - having to beg for his life and apologize in front of two queers."   
Brian's fingers still on his face. "And that entitles Chris Hobbs to become obsessed with you to the point where he becomes a serial killer?"  
"No!" Justin exclaims. "But if I hadn't done all those things, maybe none of this would have happened and your life wouldn't be in danger right now."   
"I don't believe my life is in danger," he reassures him, noticing the look of fear in Justin's eyes. "It's YOUR life that is at risk here." That worry is uppermost in his mind at the moment. He turns his hand over and lightly rubs his knuckles back and forth over Justin's cheek.   
"Brian, he has several reasons to hate you. You saved my life and broke his knee so he couldn't play football afterward and he lost his scholarship to college. Also, he realizes that I never stopped loving you. And if he did kill Luke, it was simply because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he would do that to someone just because he had the misfortune to be with me, then I'm terrified what he might decide to do to you."  
Brian leans in to bestow a gentle kiss on Justin's lips, pulling back just enough to reassure him, "Try not to think about that anymore, Sunshine. Carl will make sure we're both safe, and I'm sure the police will be able to find him well before he has a chance to act any further."   
Justin reaches up to grasp Brian's hand in his to place both of them on his chest. "I just don't want you to be hurt because of me."  
Brian shakes his head. "Everything's going to be fine. We're together again. The only ones who can hurt us are ourselves. "  
Justin nods, knowing what he means. "Our history never has been a quiet one…Has it?"  
Brian shrugs. "I told you - I don't like to lead a monotonous life. I prefer a little drama."  
Justin smiles. Only Brian has the innate ability to calm him and make him relax in the midst of storms that constantly intrude upon his life.   
Brian turns just long enough to extinguish his cigarette in the pewter ashtray lying on top of the night table before he turns back to Justin to pull him into his arms, not wanting to lose the closeness they are redeveloping. "Try to get some more rest," he murmurs as he wraps his arms around Justin's back and holds him close. Mentally exhausted, they are both asleep within minutes. 

But Justin's sleep is not a peaceful one; it is filled with vivid images - images so real looking that he is unable to realize that he is not experiencing them firsthand. There he is after the prom, in the cold darkness of the garage, searching frantically for Brian. He knows he was right there with him only a few moments before, but he can't find him now. He wants to go back into the hotel ballroom and have another dance with him, feel his arms around him as he holds him close, and share another kiss with him; but no matter how many times he calls his name, he doesn't receive an answer and he's all alone.  
Finally, he sees a dark, formless heap in the darkness several feet away. With great trepidation, he slowly advances toward it, first noticing a pool of crimson blood surrounding it, then a stained, mottled silk scarf lying nearby…and then with startling horror he realizes what the heap is: Brian, lying in a fetal position on his side, still and unmoving. He rushes over to him, crying out his name over and over again as he reaches for his clammy wrist to feel for a pulse, but there is none…There is no life at all as Brian's eyes stare out unblinking, open and dilated…He screams and screams for help, but nobody hears him and nobody answers. All he hears are the echoes of his own wails.   
Then he senses a dark shadow looming over him, and with an extreme sense of dread, he lifts his eyes to see a wooden baseball bat swinging slowly back and forth by someone's side; a bat that is stained with Brian's blood…   
As he raises his eyes higher, he is chilled to the bone as he notices the sneer on Chris Hobbs' face before the other boy breaks out into a triumphant, evil smile. He hefts the bat over his shoulder into a ready position to strike again as he repeats over and over: "It's all your fault, Taylor! It's all your fault!"   
Justin begins to thrash back and forth in terror as Chris starts to take a swing. "No!" he screams in despair as he reaches over to cradle Brian's body protectively against his own, not concerned with his own safety. "Stop! Don't hurt him! Noooooo!"   
He suddenly jerks awake as he tries to break free from the bonds that are holding him tightly, only beginning to slowly come out of his nightmare as he hears an urgent, familiar voice calling his name over and over again.  
"Justin, wake up! Justin! Come on, it's me, Brian! Justin!"   
He finally realizes what has happened and where is he as he melts into Brian's comforting embrace, his chest heaving violently up and down and his body consumed with sweat as he struggles to return to normal.   
Brian strokes his back in a lazy, circular pattern as he murmurs, "It's all right. You're safe. You're with me, and I'm never going to let anything happen to you. Take deep breaths, Sunshine. Shh…You were having a nightmare, that's all. Come on…Deep breaths." He slowly begins to rock back and forth with him as he continues to issue soothing words until finally he can feel Justin's breathing returning to a regular rhythm. He loosens his hold on his lover just far enough to take a corner of the sheet crumpled up nearby and gently wipe some of the sweat from his brow as Justin's focus returns to the bedroom - to the here and now and to Brian, alive and well, worriedly holding him in his arms.   
"Brian…I…I thought…" He can't even get the words out; just verbalizing the idea is too painful. His eyes fill with tears as Brian pulls him back against his body while they sit up in the bed.   
"Shh…Everything's okay," he assures him as he gently pushes them back down onto the bed. Justin lets out a shaky breath as he lays his head against Brian's chest and clings desperately to him, comforted by the strong, steady beat of his heart.   
Realizing that Justin has calmed down now, Brian lazily caresses his shoulder as he softly whispers, "You wanna talk about it?"   
"Brian ..." Justin lifts his eyes as he gazes into the face of the man he loves so deeply, remembering everything - good and bad - about that magical night so long ago. "I remembered the dance!" he unexpectedly says, his eyes alight with wonder despite the circumstances. For now, that is what he wants to remember; the good part of that night.

Brian frowns; after Justin just emerged from the throes of an intense nightmare, that isn't what he has expected him to say. "The dance?"

Justin nods as a wistful smile appears on his face. "Yes! My prom," he verifies as Brian's eyes widen in astonishment. "I was standing there with Daphne when she pointed you out to me. My back was turned to the door, so at first I didn't really believe that you were really there. But when I turned to see you walking over to us, my heart pounded in my chest," he admits, a little embarrassed over the overt sentimentality inherit in that statement. But it was the truth. "You looked so handsome, Brian," he recalls. "You…you looked fabulous. Everyone was looking at you and I couldn't stop grinning like a fool because you were there for me. You looked over at Daphne with a big smirk on your face and told her how hot she looked and she blushed at you." He smiles. "And then I reminded you that I thought you wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of 18-year-olds. And you told me that…"  
"…that I had come to reclaim my lost youth," Brian completes the sentence softly as Justin nodded. Even now, he could remember every word of that night, every detail, good and horrendous. "And I did," Brian tells him. "You," he explains softly, his heart hammering at the realization that Justin is remembering that night.   
"Daphne tells you how hot you looked and you kissed her on the cheek after complimenting her, too, before you asked if you could borrow her date." Justin smiles as he peers into Brian's eyes. "And then you led me out onto the dance floor…and we were the center of attention." His mind goes back into time as he recalls, "I don't know how we did it. But we danced as if we had been meant to be there with each other, like it had been perfectly choreographed beforehand." His mind is brought back to the present as he realizes, "We had never danced that way before - and we never did afterward, either."   
"What else do you remember?" Brian urges him quietly.   
Justin stares straight ahead as the memories come flooding back. "I…I remember that you looked at me so tenderly, so intensely as we danced. It was the first time that I allowed myself to believe that you actually did love me." He turns to look at Brian, who appears almost embarrassed as he adds, "I hadn't really hoped that you did before that night; not after being pushed away so many times…but that night I started to hope that you really did feel the same way that I did."   
"I did," Brian admits softly, unable to deny it now as Justin gazes up at him and nods, happy that he had been correct.   
"I knew it wasn't the same look that you showed me later when you felt guilty and responsible for what had happened. It was a different sort of look. It…It was the same kind of look that I saw on your face when you met Gus for the first time," he explains. "That first night we met, I think it was then that I knew I was losing my heart to you; when I saw how you looked at him with so much love in your eyes. And the night of the prom, when you looked at me like that, I fell even more deeply in love with you," he admits.   
Brian nods, not able to say anything at the moment, his emotions running erratically around in his head as Justin continues to pour out his memories of that night.  
"As we danced to that old, hokey song, I could feel everyone's eyes on us. But I didn't care and I didn't really even notice. Because I only had eyes for you that night," he tells him almost shyly. "Shit, it was so amazing, Brian!" he exclaims, his eyes alight with pleasure. "I remember you took your white scarf and draped it around my neck as we danced, and then I remembered pulling your jacket off and tossing it to Daphne. I felt so special that night, dancing with you!" He laughed softly. "And then you got all Fred Astaire on me and gave me a dip and bent me backward before you pulled me back up and spun me around." He paused for a moment so he could relive one of the best parts. "And…then you set me back down onto the ground…And then you kissed me." God, at last he can finally remember how that moment had felt, Brian kissing him so passionately in front of everyone and not caring in the least who watched them. It had felt both liberating as well as terrifying at the same time. No wonder Daphne had called that kiss 'hot' later. Now he knows why. It had been that and more - so much more.   
"And then when it ended, I yelled to Daphne to wait for me before you pulled me away and down to the parking garage to your Jeep." He smiles widely. "I can even remember you trying to sing!"   
"The operative word there is trying," Brian quips dryly as Justin grins. "And it will never happen again," he promises him, knowing he plays guitar a lot better than he can carry a tune.  
"We walked up to your Jeep to say goodbye," Justin softly continues as he sees it clearly in his mind's eye. "You asked me to have Daphne drop me off at your loft, because you wanted me to spend the night with you." He took a moment to consider how additionally wonderful that would have made what had already been such a perfect evening…if only…  
He takes a deep breath. "And then you leaned down to kiss me a couple of times and you left your scarf hanging around my neck before you told me goodbye and climbed into the Jeep."   
"Justin…"  
Justin shakes his head. "No, let me finish, Brian," he insists as Brian finally nods, knowing Justin has to relive all of it now. "And I smiled at you and laughed, feeling so happy. And then…then…I hear you calling my voice. It wasn't like your normal voice, though; it was high-pitched and full of fear. And then…then I feel this object hitting me on the side of the head…And then I can't remember any more."   
Brian's eyes are full of tears; he does not want to relive that part of their lives again, but he realizes that for Justin it is the first time and that he must endure it with him.   
"So your nightmare was about the prom," he concluded.   
To his surprise, though, Justin shakes his head. "No. I remembered this afternoon when I fainted. The memory came back to me somehow then as if I had always remembered it. I have no idea why, but it did."  
Brian nods in amazement. "Then what did you dream about, Sunshine?" he presses him quietly. He watches as Justin takes a deep breath to steady himself.   
"It was still about Chris Hobbs," he tells him, his lips pressed tightly together. "And it was similar to the prom, but different. In my nightmare I was looking for you and calling for you, but you wouldn't answer. I finally found you lying next to your Jeep in the parking garage." He sucks in a breath. "I knelt down beside you, but you didn't have a pulse. And…and I kept calling for someone to help me, but no one came. Finally I looked up and there…there was Hobbs, standing there with a bloody bat in his hand, swinging it back and forth. He…he kept saying over and over again that it was all my fault before he raised it and it started to come down onto my head…"  
"Justin…"  
"That…that was when I jerked awake," he tells him as he sighs.  
Brian's heart goes out to his young lover as he pulls him close. "Justin, it was just a fucking nightmare and didn't mean anything. Don't think about it anymore. We are going to get through this, okay, you'll see."   
Justin nods as he places his head on Brian's chest as Brian holds him tighter. He can barely hold his eyes open now, but he struggles to get one more sentence out before his exhaustion overtakes him. He needs to say it.   
"Brian…" he whispers against his lover's chest.  
"Hmm ...You really do need to sleep, Sunshine," Brian gently reproaches him.   
"That was really was the best night of my life."  
Brian kisses the top of his head and holds him firmly in his arms. "I know," he whispers. And for him - until that last, awful act by Chris Hobbs - it had been his as well.


	8. The Cheerleader and Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends are those who choose to love you as if you are family.

The noise blaring from the alarm clock wakes Brian from his sleep. As he shuts it off and turns onto his side, he is gratified to find Justin lying there beside him, still asleep and confirming that last night had not just been a dream. He smiles as he reaches over to card some of his lover's soft, blond strands of hair through his fingers. He loves Justin's hair, especially when it is longer like it is now. He gently strokes the back of Justin's neck as he hears a soft sort of purr escape from his parted lips in reaction, and he smiles in response. Brian can't help feeling possessive of his beautiful lover, wanting to proclaim to anyone who will listen that he is his and his alone. He shakes his head, however, in reproach over the tender, lesbionic thought. If he keeps that up, he will wind up turning into a muncher for sure. He rolls his eyes before, with great reluctance, he gingerly rises from the bed, deciding to let Justin get some much needed, additional sleep as he goes in search of some coffee to help jolt him into wakefulness.

A few minutes later, Justin stirs and stretches his arms above his head as he smells the distinctive aroma of freshly-brewed coffee somewhere nearby, discovering as he opens his half-lidded eyes that Brian is sitting on the edge of bed, waving a mug in front of his nose. 

Justin scoots up on the mattress to brace his back against the headboard as Brian places the mug in his hand. "This is suspiciously close to getting breakfast in bed," he tells Brian with a smile. "Are you sure you're not just an illusion?" 

Brian smirks. "Did last night feel like an illusion?" He leans over to steal a coffee-flavored kiss from his lover's lips as Justin replies with a grin, "No, definitely not. At least it was the most vivid illusion I've ever had." 

"Well, don't go getting any hair-brained ideas, Sunshine," he gently warns him, telling him subtly in no uncertain terms not to expect to top him too frequently. But Justin isn't too concerned; last night's experience was going to stay uppermost in his mind for a long time to come. He can't help grinning like a fool, too, as Brian lets out a groan when he rises from the bed; apparently he isn't the only one who will remember last night for a while.

"Wipe that shit-ass smirk off your face and come take a shower with me. You can pay me back for your coffee - and for last night - by sucking me off before I head into Kinnetik," Brian announces. 

Justin huffs as he takes a sip of his coffee, noting that Brian had made it just the way he likes it. "Such a romantic," he teases him; he sobers, however, as Brian's words sink in and a frown creases his face. "You're going into work?" 

"Of course," Brian informs him quietly as if it were a redundant statement. "Do you think I'm going to go into hiding just because I may be in the crosshairs of a psycho killer?" he quips.

Justin's eyes flash in aggravation. "Brian, do you have to be so fucking cavalier about it? I know Carl said he would set up protection around your loft, but he also said we had to stay vigilant and watch out for ourselves. If you go into work that is just making you vulnerable to attack." 

 

Brian sighs as he walks over and sits down again on the edge of the bed; he should know better than to attempt to be facetious where Hobbs is concerned. He reaches up to stroke Justin's cheek reassuringly with the back of his knuckles. He has something to tell him, but he does not want to get him agitated again. 

 

"Horvath called me while you were sleeping," he informs him quietly. "The New York Police compared the DNA samples found in the garage with the files they have on record here." He pauses as Justin holds his breath, somehow knowing what he is going to say before he says it. "He told me that the analysis came back positive as an exact match for Chris Hobbs."

Brian just barely manages to grab onto Justin's half-full mug and steady it as his lover's hand begins to shake violently; he reaches over to place the mug down on the night table as he takes Justin's hand and begins to instinctively massage it between his own. 

 

"Shit! I was sure of it!" Justin cries out; visibly terrified and worried. "When he couldn't kill me, he moved on to destroying the people that I care about. He killed Luke and now he's going to try and kill you, too!" 

"Justin, I've told you; I'm not his target," Brian assures him, although he's not certain if he's trying to convince Justin or himself. 

"How can you be so sure, Brian?" Justin counters. "He didn't even know Luke. Luke never did anything to him, and he killed him anyway. You were the one who stopped him from finishing me off before when I was attacked and you were the reason why the police were able to arrest him afterward. We both know the only reason why his ass didn't wind up in jail for a long time was because the judge was a fucking homophobe and blamed me for inciting him." He snorts at the ridiculousness of that statement. "Brian, he has a lot of reasons to hate you, don't you see that?" 

 

Brian gently releases Justin's hand as he pulls him into his arms and caresses his back tenderly. He can hear Justin mournfully sigh as he hugs him a little tighter, feeling Justin's hands sliding around his back as well. The two of them remain there, locked in a firm embrace, until he reluctantly pulls back slightly to gaze into his lover's worried eyes. 

Grasping his hands in his, he softly reminds him, "Sunshine, Carl's already ordered his officers to remain here on watch to protect us. He has two well-marked police cars out front and has had since last night. I'm sure he's instructed one of them to follow me to Kinnetik while the other one remains here with you. Since I wasn't able to work yesterday, I'm sure I have a shitload of paperwork to catch up on and three contracts that need signing. I also need to meet with some clients who had to have their meetings postponed yesterday, and also coordinate some graphics with the Art Department for some upcoming campaigns. After all, I am supposedly paying them to work. When the cat's away..." He let the saying remain unfinished. 

Justin nods as Brian kisses the tender flesh at the back of his neck and bestows small bites on his shoulders and neck, feeling his lover slowly relaxing under his ministrations as Justin surrenders to Brian's comforting touch, placing his head under Brian's chest as he hugs his body against him.   
"All right," he whispers against his skin. "I trust you know what you're doing. But that won't keep me from worrying about you." He pulls back to stare into Brian's eyes. "Please be careful. And I know you, Brian Kinney; don't spend all day bitching and moaning to the Art Department about minor details! I want you back here safe and sound as soon as possible." 

Brian snorts in mock disdain, pushing his tongue into his cheek. "Well, you know how artists are." 

 

"But you love artists," Justin protests mockingly. "Well, one, anyway..." His eyes sparkle as he peers up at his lover with eyebrows raised, his meaning all too clear. 

Brian opens his mouth to deny it, but he knows it's useless. Still..."I never said that." 

Justin smiles warmly for the first time that day. How Brian has missed this! "You don't need to." 

Touché. "Well, let's just say that I hold a specific interest in one particular artist and a certain part of his anatomy," he replies as he looks deep into Justin's eyes with a smile, his hands sliding around to firmly cup his ass. 

Justin grins before he leans up to give Brian a kiss. Brian gives his body one, tight squeeze before he releases his hold on him, brushing some of Justin's hair back from his face. 

 

"So, Sunshine...While I'm slaving away all day, what will you be doing?" 

He sighs. "I'd like to paint, but my stuff is all packed up at my mother's house. Besides, I'm not sure under the circumstances that I would even be in the mood to do any work anyway. So I thought I would call Daphne and see if she can come over here and keep me company…If she's not on duty."

Brian snickers. "Great; a cast reunion of Dawson's Creek in the making," he deadpans as Justin smacks him lightly on the arm. "Actually, I think that's a very astute decision," he tells him, "because with a doctor in the house I won't have to worry about you."

Justin winces. "Don't even joke about that, Brian." 

"Yeah," Brian agrees. Perhaps that was not such a good idea. He stands up and extends his hand downward. "Well, we can both take our mind off other matters by taking a shower," he decides. "It seems that you still owe me a blowjob, Mr. Taylor." 

Justin allows himself to be pulled up against Brian's body, feeling his lover's desire for him as they kiss briefly. "Sounds like a good plan," he murmurs as, hand in hand, they head toward the shower. 

 

Later ...

 

Justin opens the door to the loft after Daphne announces her arrival through the intercom, reaching to grab some packages from his bag-laden friend before she drops them. 

 

He grins at her as he places the packages down and spreads his arms out by his sides. "Welcome to the Kinney Jail!" he announces. "Are you my matron for the day? Or better yet - did you bring me a file in a cake so I can break out?" 

She grins at him as she shakes her head. "No file; sorry. But I brought you the next best thing: all the high-calorie crap you can eat, some juicy gossip, and one of your favorite movies. How's that? Oh, and by the way; I deserve a medal from you for being your BFF and fag hag, because I had to go through all sorts of hoops to get the day off from the hospital," she tells him.

Justin smiles affectionately at her; Daphne is just exactly what he needs today. "You're all that - and more," he tells her as he reaches over to sweep her up into a grateful hug. He kisses her on the cheek before pulling back to whisper, "Thanks, Daph; you don't know how much I needed to see you today." He sighs. "Even if this loft is amazing, getting trapped in here like I'm a prisoner and only being allowed to leave if I'm accompanied by a police guard is not exactly my idea of fun. And after what happened, I don't really feel like I can trust too many people; just you, Brian, my mom, and a few friends." 

Daphne nods as she reaches to grasp her friend's hand. "Justin, I'm so sorry about Luke," she tells him softly.

 

Justin's eyes glimmer as he admits, "I feel so guilty, Daph. I'm really the one that Chris is angry with. If Luke hadn't been with me, he would still be alive right now."

 

Daphne's eyes flash in irritation. "You stop that right now, Justin Taylor!" she growls. "You do not have anything to be guilty about. Nobody could have predicted what that psycho was going to do! He's crazy and uncontrollable. How in the hell could you have ever guessed that he would go after Luke?"

"I teased him. If I hadn't acted the way that I did, everything would be different now."

 

Daphne shakes her head as she takes him by the hand and leads him over to the couch, sitting down with him as she clasps his hand in hers. 

"Justin, listen to me," she begins, leaving no doubt that Justin has no choice in the matter. He lifts his eyes to peer over at her as she tells him, "Did you forget that I was there, too? I saw Chris harass and tease you on a daily basis and make your life a living hell. I was there at the prom when that fucking coward attacked you! Nothing - nothing! - can justify what he did to you. You did nothing at all to deserve this. You are NOT responsible for what he's done. I can say without any reservation whatsoever that you are not to blame for any of this. I know what you did with the Pink Posse; I know what you told me you did as a member and what happened in front of Woody's. And each time, Chris had a choice to walk away or take it to a new level." She lets out a deep breath between parted lips as she squeezes his hand to emphasize her point. "You are NOT to mention ever again that you have any responsibility for this, do you hear me? Chris Hobbs is a murderer, and deserves to be locked up for the rest of his life. I'm telling you all this, not just because I'm your friend and I love you, but because it's the truth and nothing can change that."

 

"But, Daphne ..."

 

"No 'buts,' Justin!" she replies firmly. "You are the bravest person I know. You always stood up to Hobbs at St. James, no matter what he threw at you. You never backed down from a fight, and you've always stood up for your rights and your beliefs. I am very proud to call you my friend." 

Justin blinks back some grateful tears as she continues, her mouth set in a firm line, "Now Hobbs, unlike you, is a coward who has always envied you. You were always such a good student. You're so smart and talented and beautiful." 

"Daph…" Justin feels his face redden in embarrassment.

"It's true!" She insists. "Hobbs, on the other hand? All he had was some athletic ability and a rich father who coddled him and looked the other way. He's sick in the head, Justin, and I still say if he were honest with himself, he's as gay as you are. But he can never admit that - or admit that you are a better person than he is. We both know he has to be attracted to you to let you do what you did to him, but he's never had the courage to admit that or who is really is - unlike you." 

"I just want him to disappear from my life."

 

She gazes at him sympathetically. "I know. But this will end. You are strong and you've always managed to persevere and overcome any obstacle." She smiles at her friend. "Rage has never been my superhero; but you are. I'm very proud to be your best friend."

 

Justin swallows the emotional lump in his throat as he pulls Daphne to his body and sweeps her into a grateful embrace. 

 

"Thank you, Daph. I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather have as my best friend than you," he murmurs against her shoulder. He pulls back to look into her face as he tells her with a smile of his own, "You're pretty amazing yourself, you know; going to medical school. I'm proud of you, too, Doc." 

Now it's Daphne's turn to blink back unshed tears as she nods back at him. "Thanks, Justin," she whispers. She wipes the tears away from her eyes and takes a deep breath as she asks, "So what will you do now?" 

Justin sighs as he rubs his forehead with his hand. "I'm so confused by all of this. I wanted to come back home so badly, but that was before. Things are so different now! I didn't want to go through all these memories again: Hobbs, the bashing, the bombing…All I wanted to do was come back home to my friends and to the ones that I care about that I've missed: my mom and Molly, you, Debbie, the gang…"

"…And Brian," Daphne adds meaningfully.

"No," Justin stubbornly maintains. "I wasn't coming back home to be with Brian! I was with Luke." 

Daphne shakes her head in exasperation. "Hello? This is your best friend you're talking to here! Justin, you can try that bullshit with someone else, but it won't work with me. You might be trying to deny it still, but you can't tell me that there isn't a part of you that still loves him. And you might not want to believe this, Justin, but it hurt Brian when you left, too, even if he WAS the one to drive you away. He's been very lonely these past two years." She remains quiet for a moment before she adds, "You know, Luke realized that you still loved Brian, too. He knew you hadn't forgotten him, even if you weren't together anymore." 

"Luke? What you are talking about, Daphne? He said something to you?" 

She nods. "Luke was well aware of your feelings for Brian. He was up front and center in your life for a while, Justin. He wasn't naïve. He knew he could never be more than just a good friend to you, and he understood that." She peers into his troubled eyes. "We talked about you several times. He probably thought I was the only one who would really understand his dilemma. He never had any grand illusions when it came to you and him. He knew deep down that no one could replace Brian in your heart, and he knew it would be foolish to even try." Her eyes glisten as she adds softly, "I'm so sorry about him, Justin. I really liked him; he was a great guy and he did love you; just not in the same way that you could ever love him." 

Justin swallows the lump in his throat. "I wish I could have loved him the way that he deserved to be loved." 

She shakes her head. "You loved him the only way that you could - and he was happy with you." 

 

Justin stands up in restless agitation, walking over to the loft windows as he watches the bustling traffic below, feeling like the prisoner that he was. He can hear Daphne walking up behind him as he tells her, "Daph, I just want this to end soon. I wish this was all just a nightmare that I could wake up from, but I know it's not."

"Justin, shh," she replies softly as she places her hands on his shoulders and gives them a squeeze. She places her chin on his left shoulder as she whispers, "They will find him soon - and he'll be locked up. Things will be back to normal then; you'll see."

But Justin shakes his head. "No, Daph; even if they found him in the next hour, nothing will ever be 'normal' again. Luke - and all those other people - are dead." 

She lets out a deep breath. "No - it will never be exactly the same," she admits as she walks around Justin to face him. He lifts his eyes to hers as she continues, "But things will get better - and you WILL find a way to regain some peace back into your life." 

 

"Maybe," he responds. He looks down at the people who are free to come and go as they please; until now he would have never given it another thought. "Meanwhile, though, I have to endure being watched 24/7 and having my freedom taken away to do what I want, when I want." 

She rolls her eyes in amusement. "Oh, stop complaining and being such a drama queen! You're getting older and becoming more boring than ever." Justin snorts at her in mock insult as she commands, "Now help me out with my goodies I brought, and we can mess up Brian's loft so much that he'll be the drama queen when he gets home after he sees the chaos we've created."

 

That at least generated a partial smile from Justin as he asks, "So what did you bring?"

 

She rattles the list off. "Popcorn, ice cream, various fattening sweets to die for; oh…And Johnny Depp."

 

Justin's eyes light up. "A woman after my own heart! I looooove Johnny Depp."

 

"I know," she tells him with a smile. "I'm your best friend, remember? That's why I brought him; well, the next best thing, anyway." 

 

Justin grins; his prior melancholy temporary broken. "He is so hot." 

She walks over to the kitchen island to take the DVD out of one of the plastic bags. "Well, I'm just glad that he's straight, because it keeps my hopes alive of finding a super-hot guy just for me." She sighs melodramatically as Justin comes over to join her. "I always found it so unfortunate and extremely unfair that the two hottest and most beautiful guys I know personally - meaning you and Brian, of course - are gay and irrevocably in love with each other. And, unlike me, they had sex all night." She turned the back of the DVD case over to read the synopsis. 

 

Justin furrows his brow. "Wait! How do you know about me and Brian?"

 

She harrumphs. "Come on, Justin! You and Brian alone together? It can only mean one thing: very hot sex."

 

"But…We're still not totally together ..." he tries to tell her by way of protest.

She turns around and places her hands on her hips in barely-controlled impatience. "You're going to tell me that you didn't fuck last night? The look's all over your face! I know how this dysfunctional relationship of yours and Brian's operates: you fall in love, you fuck; you're crazy about each and you fuck some more; you separate, meet again and fuck some more. In the end, there's nothing that can separate the two of you." Her eyes light up as she decides, "It's like fate…Or karma. You're destined to always be together, Justin!" 

Justin shakes his head. "Daphne, there's still a lot we need to talk about…There were things we both did that hurt each other." 

 

"So do it! Talk to each other and hash it out! Clarify everything that happened between you and why!" Her voice softens as she urges him, "Tell him how you felt because of Matt and ask him to explain things to you." She knows how much that had hurt him at the time.

 

"He's already done that," Justin tells her as he brushes his hand through his hair. "He…He found out from my agent that I was hesitating to go to Europe to promote my art because I didn't want to be separated that long from him, and he thought that would hinder my career if I didn't go. So he did the same thing he always does when he thinks it's for my 'own good:' he threw me off the cliff by throwing Matt in my face and lying about their relationship. Actually, according to Brian they didn't have a relationship. He pretty much kicked him out of the loft as soon as he was sure I had really left." 

Daphne's eyes widen in shock. "Holy shit! How could he have done that to you? Didn't he realize that it would break your heart? Why would he do that?"

Justin shrugs. "He thought he was doing what was best for me. You know how he works, Daph! He pushed me away just like he always did so I wouldn't hurt my career. And he knew if he did that, there wouldn't be anything to hold me here and I'd be free to go to Europe. Which is exactly what happened."

She furrows her brow in confusion. "Frankly, I don't understand his logic sometimes. Wouldn't it have been easier for him just to tell you that he thought it was best that you go to Europe?" 

Justin shakes his head. "No, he knows me too well, Daphne. He knew I wouldn't go to Europe of my own free will. He knew how determined I was to come home instead." 

Daphne harrumphs. "Don't you think I already realize that, Justin? You called me when you were freaking out, remember? When I was living in Philadelphia? You kept telling me how you were so lonely in New York and how you missed everyone back home, especially Brian. And then all that mess with Matt happened and you ran off to Europe. I would have rushed back to see you in a heartbeat, but you insisted on my not doing that. And then when I finally did return to Pittsburgh last year, I realized Brian was operating like he always does when he misses you; he was fucking everything on two legs. I tried to tell you that there was something odd going on - I never saw Brian with Matt at all - but you were so hurt that you never wanted to talk about him. You were in Paris at the time and you didn't want me to even bring up Brian's name. I finally decided that maybe it was best the two of you just stayed apart. But now it all makes a lot more sense. I should have realized the whole thing with this Matt guy was just a big farce." She shakes her head. "I should have known by now that it was something like that." She stares over at me. "So what are you going to do now?" 

 

"I have to hash all this out with Brian. But right now - with all this other shit going on - until everything is resolved, I'm not sure what to do." 

"Do you want to know what I think?" she asks me.

Justin snorts. "You'll say it anyway," he responds with a laugh as she grins back at him.

"I know Brian isn't the most open person when it comes to communicating his feelings..." she begins as Justin gives her a 'duh' look. She smiles. "Yeah, I guess that's an understatement. Well, it doesn't matter. If you want the two of you to get back together, you'll have to actually TALK to each other to clarify what happened and why. When the two of you stopped talking before, too many assumptions were made - incorrectly - and Brian tightened up like a clam and everything went downhill from there. You need to find out how he feels and what he wants." 

 

Justin nods. "Daph, until yesterday morning, I didn't even think Brian would ever want me in his life again. But...I never stopped loving him. You know I didn't. But I can't let him manipulate me any longer, not like he did with New York and Europe. I just can't let that happen."

She huffs. "You two are so stubborn! Then talk about it! Find out what Brian really wants. Let him speak and listen to him." 

 

"Brian...talk? You don't have an easier suggestion for me?" Justin asks her. "That's like asking Brittany Spears to give up hair extensions." 

Daphne laughs as Justin can't help smiling back at her in return. "You two have never made your lives very easy," she reminds him as he nods in agreement.

"Won't argue with you there," he tells her. "So what do we do first?" 

She grins. "I say ice cream first, followed by the sweets and then some Johnny Depp to cap it off. Let's leave the Brian and Justin melodrama for later." 

Justin grins. "Sounds like a plan," he responds as the two of them head toward the kitchen to grab some bowls and spoons.

 

As the closing credits of The Libertine flash across Brian's obscenely-large television, Justin retrieves a marijuana joint from Brian's stash in the bedroom and shares it with his friend. 

"Ahh," she remarks as she takes a toke, the two of them sitting side by side on the couch, the remnants of their feast spread out in front of them on the coffee table. "The best kind of dessert." 

Justin smiles as she passes the joint back to him so he can inhale. The two sit there in companionable silence until Justin unexpectedly reveals, "Daph, I remembered the dance." 

She turns her head in astonishment, needing to make sure he is saying what she thinks he's saying. "You mean...?"

He nods his head. "Yeah...I remembered the prom." 

Her mouth falls open as she exclaims excitedly, "What? I don't believe it! Why didn't you tell me this before? When did you remember? How?" 

"It happened yesterday in a dream I had." He smiles. "Daph, you were right; Brian and I were amazing that night." 

She sighs dreamily; remembering that night like it was yesterday. "It was the most romantic moment I've ever seen, Justin." 

Justin grins in recollection. "A ridiculously romantic moment," he murmurs as he recalls Brian's words by the Jeep. His eyes mist over a little as he reveals to her, "I can finally remember how Brian looked at me that night, Daph. If I could have only recalled that before, I would have realized that he was in love with me; it was written all over his face." He sighs. "So much would have been different if I had only known then what I know now." 

 

"You mean Ethan, for example ..."

Justin nods. "Yeah, mainly him." 

She reaches for the joint to take another puff. "You two were so hot that night!" She pauses. "I don't think I've ever seen you that happy since then." Daphne detects a shadow of sadness in the eyes of her friend as she tells him softly, "Forgive me, Jus!" She kisses his cheek, knowing that he must regret all the time he and Brian had spent apart, in part due to his failure to remember that night. "By the way, you're right, you know. I just knew by the way that Brian looked at you that night that he loved you. And it was obvious by how desperate he looked after you were attacked, too." 

Justin turns his head to stare over his friend as she tells him, "He wouldn't let anyone touch you. He was like some mama bear protecting her cub. He only allowed the paramedics to treat you after I yelled at him that you were going to die unless he let them take care of you. And then he insisted on riding with you in the back of the ambulance. I drove behind it all the way to the hospital, and got to the emergency room a couple of minutes after the ambulance got there." She looks into her friend's eyes as she reveals, "I heard him when they asked what relationship he was to you. Justin, he told them even then that you were his partner."

Justin looks at her in astonishment. "He…he did?" 

She nods. "Yeah. And he stayed put there in that hospital for the next three days until he was certain that you would survive. Do you know that everyone blamed him for what happened that night? Your mother, Debbie, Mel; even Lindsay. The only ones who didn't feel that way were Michael and me. He couldn't have known - none of us could have known - that this would be the start of something horrible with Chris Hobbs. So when the doctors finally were able to reassure him that you would be okay, he got up and walked away and never came to see you again. I never could understand that part."

Justin sighed. "Well, this is Brian we're talking about. He has his own sense of logic. I'm not questioning why he did what he did; it wouldn't do any good anyway. Now that I know what happened at the prom, though, I realize that he loved me even back then." He peers thoughtfully over at the television screen before adding, "I promise I will sit down and talk with him about all of this." He reaches over and squeezes Daphne's hand as he tells her softly, "Thanks for being here with me. …And for watching over Brian when I couldn't." 

 

Daphne squeezes his hand back before releasing it. "You know I'd do anything for you, Justin. And for Brian. I hope the two of you are able to work everything out." She grins. "I want to be able to use my bridesmaid's dress while I can still fit into it." 

Justin's eyes widen. "Hey! Who said anything about marriage?"

She laughs. "Okay. If you don't want to get married, that's up to you and Brian. But at least give me something to look forward to so I can wear my dress."

 

He smiles. "How about this? You can wear it to the opening of my next exhibition, here in Pittsburgh."

 

She nods. "Well, that not quite as good as a wedding, but that sounds like it might work." She reaches for the joint and takes another, deep drag. "This is good stuff!" She tells him as he grins with a nod. "Does Brian have any more?" 

Justin snorts. "Do you have to ask when it comes to Brian? But take it a little easy; we don't want to use up all of his stock." 

"Why not? We can move onto beer then." 

Justin laughs. "Great idea, Daph! I like the way you think." 

 

Same Time at Kinnetik…

Brian is in a great mood, which has been a rare event in the last two years. Only when his son comes to visit him do his employees feel he isn't being a royal pain in the ass.   
Everyone would be quick to admit that Kinnetik is a great place to work; besides the highly competitive salaries and perks offered, Brian is a fair boss who values his employees and rewards them for a job well done. At the same time, however, Brian in return demands high quality work and near perfection from everyone who works for him. He expects everyone to give him 110% at all times; being less dedicated than that is not to be tolerated and is met with quick retribution and even dismissal in the most severe cases.

But today is different. Brian is satisfied. Even Charles Sanders, the Director of the Art Department who holds himself in high regard but who is not as bright as he imagines, leaves the room smiling at Brian, something that has never happened since Sanders came to work here for him a year ago.

 

Cynthia Jones, however, knows the reason for Brian's change in demeanor that borders on downright joy. Ted had pulled her aside earlier to inform her that Justin was back in town - and staying at Brian's loft, a fact that makes her quite happy. Cynthia is fond of Justin and holds him in high esteem; after all, he has always been the only one who seems to be able to tame the 'savage beast' known as Brian Kinney when no one else can. 

Brian is always happiest when Justin is around. In the five years prior to when Justin had appeared in Brian's life, she had considered her boss to be a cynical, indifferent, jerk most of the time; he was definitely highly competent, but like all her other co-workers, she often wondered if he had a heart beating inside him. But when Justin came along, that all seemed to change somehow. 

First there were subtle changes that few realized. He slowly became happier, kinder, and less indifferent; his mood improved considerably and she was innately curious as to what had happened to cause the changes, but Brian was as transparent as oil. One day, however, she received orders to grant immediate access to him at work for a Justin Taylor; a privilege that until then had only been reserved for Michael Novotny or Lindsay Peterson. Then, two years later, she finally had the chance to meet Justin in person when he came to work for Vanguard Advertising as their new intern. It was then that she realized why Brian had changed and who had been responsible for it. She noticed a spark between them immediately and how Justin could make Brian listen to reason when no one else could. She grew to respect and admire Justin for his creativity, tenacity, and intelligence and developed a strong affection for him - along with a fanatical desire to see both men together and happy. 

When Justin left for New York, she willingly arranged and rearranged Brian's agenda, making and changing reservations as needed, just to ensure that the two men continued to stay connected. She felt like a guardian of love for these two men that she had grown to both love and admire.

Then something happened to alienate them. She knew instinctively that Brian had done something to cause it, because several restless, angry days followed where Brian resembled a volcano ready to explode at any second. Underneath his anger, however, she could also see a distinct sadness in his eyes like a light had been extinguished. 

True to Brian's wishes, she had never told anyone that he had asked for her to monitor all of Justin's openings and exhibitions throughout Europe and the United States, and that, unbeknownst to everyone else, including Justin, she had secretly made sure that Brian was in attendance at all of them. Cynthia never did ask Brian about the reason why; having worked with him for twelve years now she knows it would have been a futile endeavor anyway. But she couldn't help hoping that the two of them would eventually find their way back to each other and be reunited. Now, Justin is back and she can't wondering if there is something she can do personally to help them stay together, even at the risk of Brian cutting her head off if he gets so much of a whiff of her intentions. 

She bites back a sigh as she recognizes the slender, dark-haired man entering the lobby in an obvious state of agitation. So much for peace at Fantasy Island, she can't help thinking as he walks up to her desk.

"Hey, Cynthia; is Brian in his office? I need to talk to him." 

She reaches for her phone to pick it up. "I'll check and see if he's available, Michael." 

He looks at her impatiently as he shakes his head. "Don't worry about it; he'll make himself available to me," he tells her as if he is talking to a child. "I'm his best friend." 

"Yes, but…" She watches as he heads down the hall toward Brian's private office and sighs in resignation. Something tells her that the good mood that has prevailed today is about to be disrupted by a not-so-calm wind that has just blown in. 

 

"You ARE here," Michael says incredulously as he opens the door and notices Brian working on his laptop at his desk. 

Brian looks up from his computer and nods at his friend as he hears the door opening. "Hey, Mikey; where else would I be?"

 

Michael shuts the door behind him as he walks closer to Brian's desk. "Are you crazy, Brian? Why did you come to work? You should not exposing yourself. In case you've forgotten, there's a killer loose out there! Carl told me that he killed Justin's boyfriend, and now he's putting YOU in danger, too, by the fact that you're letting the Boy Wonder stay with you. Who cares about protecting you?"

 

Michael fails to notice the grimace of annoyance and dissatisfaction that flashes across Brian's face, especially at the mention of "Justin's boyfriend." He takes a deep breath before he replies. 

"Michael, I do not need protection. If that fucker Hobbs really wants to kill me he would have done it a long time ago. He's had plenty of opportunity before now. Besides, the greatest revenge Hobbs could have on me would be to go after Justin; he's the one that needs protection."

"So you and Justin are back together?"

 

Brian sighs as he rakes one hand through his hair. "Honestly? I don't know If Justin wants to... "

 

"And what if he doesn't want to, Brian? Or worse yet; what if he stays here for a while and then ups and leaves again like he did before? Wouldn't that be worse than if he had never come back at all?"

"Michael…" Brian's voice is ominously low and quiet. 

"Brian, I'm just trying to look out for you. You don't need that shit. You're Brian Kinney; you don't need anyone! You don't do relationships, Brian; you've told all of us that over and over again. Justin's the one that needs you, not the other way around." 

"Enough, Michael!" Brian growls, thoroughly annoyed at his friend now. "As you yourself have pointed out so often before, I can't be a 'club boy' all my life! And you're wrong, by the way! I DO need Justin. I want him - and I fucking love him; can’t you understand that?" 

Michael peers over at his friend in shock; he never thought he would ever hear those words from Brian.

 

"Brian, he doesn't deserve your love! He'll leave you again. He'll run back to Europe, to Paris, just like he has so many times before. And you'll only wind up getting hurt again." 

"Mikey, listen to me! Every time Justin left before it was because I let him go; I was the one who pushed him away. I won't let that happen again this time," he vows.

Michael sighs and continues his ramble. "Brian, I know he's going to hurt you again. Hey, it's not because I don't like him." That statement warrants a skeptical look from Brian as he hastily adds, "I do like him. But it's…It's like the two of you are on self-destruct whenever you're together, and I just don't want you to be destroyed because of him." 

Brian bristles at the insinuation. "Michael, you're not my mom holding my fucking hand and telling me what I can or cannot do! If you really love me as a friend, you will stop meddling in my life with Justin."

 

"I AM your best friend, Brian and I do love you! That's why I have to be honest with you. He's like a poison for you. You would be much better off and happier without him. Without him you can do whatever you like: get smashed or high on drugs, fuck all the guys you want in the backroom at Babylon and be the legendary Brian Kinney that everyone envies and admires."

Brian has had enough. His face turns red as he stands up to glare over at his friend. "Mikey, I already told you, and I'm not going to say it again. That Brian Kinney is a fantasy now! I am not the same person that I was before. It's time for me to stop living a meaningless life. I WANT someone in my life now. And that someone is Justin." 

But like a bulldog, Michael will still not let go. "But why him?" he insists. He shakes his head. "You could have anyone you want, Brian. Why choose him? He doesn't love you for who you really are. He traded you for Paris, for his painting, for his art. He left you and everything else behind. He abandoned his work on Rage, for fuck's sake!" 

Brian's growls, "For God's sake, Michael, have you not listened to anything that I just said?" 

"I AM listening, Brian!" 

"No, you're NOT. I'm going to repeat this one more time, Michael, and then that will be the end of this discussion. Justin didn't leave anything or anyone behind. He only left when he thought I was with Matt and I rubbed his face in it. He would not have gone to Europe unless I pushed him to do it out of some ridiculous sense of nobility. As for you and that comic, from what I've been told he always kept in touch about it. Do you really think he could have continued to work on Rage with you, though, while he was living in Paris?" 

"I ... I ... I don't know! I just think you should let him face the consequences of his actions with Chris Hobbs alone. It's his problem! You'll just end up getting hurt and ..."

 

"Shit, Michael! What would you do if this was happening with Ben?" 

 

"I'd be on his side and face it with him together. But he and I are not like you and Justin. We're married and in love..."

"Unbelievable! That's it, Michael! It's time for you to go! Go and tend to your little comic book store; go back to Ben and to your kids and your little, gingerbread house. Go do whatever the fuck you like. Just leave…NOW." 

 

"Briiiian ..."

Brian walks around the desk to grasp Michael by the arm. He begins to half drag/half tug the other man toward the door, using his other arm to open it. He has to regain his self-control quickly before the desire to punch Michael gets too strong to ignore. 

"Brian, what the hell?" 

Brian gave Michael a not-so-gentle shove as he pushed him out the door. "Bye, Mikey!'

 

"But, Bri …"

"Goodbye, Michael!" he growls as he slams the door after him. His nostrils flaring in anger, he stomps over to his desk and punches in the code for his assistant. "Cynthia, I want Sanders in here! Now!"

Cynthia sighs. "Yes, Boss, I'll get him." She shakes her head as she watches Michael trudge by in front of her, dejected. "Here we go again," she murmurs. 

 

Later ...

 

Charles Sanders definitely hates Brian Kinney. The man is an arrogant and manipulative bastard who is not satisfied with anything less than perfection. As the Director of the Art Department, he desperately wants more control and autonomy in his work, but he is constantly stymied by Brian's authoritarian rule. It is a great feather in his cap to be working for the most successful advertising agency in Pittsburgh, but at the same time he detests both his job and his boss. Therefore, he feels no remorse in what he is about to do. Looking with indifference at the object in his hands, he picks up his cellphone to make a call to the man who had first sought him out three months ago.

 

"I've got him. Are you with me?" 

"Yeah. Meet me at the usual place."

"What time?"

"9 p.m."

"Do you have the money?" 

"Yes," was the weary reply. "I have the amount we agreed upon." 

Sanders replies in satisfaction, "Good. I'll see you then." Disconnecting the call, he doesn't stop to think about the ramifications. All he knows is that he is tired of being Brian Kinney's whipping boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some clarifications:
> 
> 1 - I have no idea if Justin likes Johnny Depp, but I love him very much, so I figured if Daphne & Justin were going to watch a movie, why not include the best actor of our time?   
> 2 - The Libertine is my favorite Johnny Depp movie. It's great; if you haven't seen it, you must! You will not regret it.  
> 3 - I have no idea what Cynthia's last name is; I do not believe it was ever mentioned on the show. (Anyone know?) The surname Jones is a reference to Stuart of QAF (UK) fame; so to remain true to the theme, I chose that same last name for Cynthia.


	9. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dictionary Definition of Promise: feminine noun); The act or effect of promise, promise; 2) - Thing promised; 3) - Voting oath.
> 
> Brian Kinney never broke a promise.

Brian opens the door to the loft and smiles contentedly when Justin comes to him smiling, standing on his tiptoes to give him a hug and a kiss. 

 

"And how was your day, Dear?" Justin quips as he pulls back to play with the back of Brian's hair. Brian can see that his eyes are slightly glassy and he can smell the distinctive mixture of alcohol on his breath and weed in the air.

 

"I don't think as fun as yours," he replies drolly, tongue planted firmly in his cheek.

 

"Are you kidding? I thought you always had fun in your torture chamber, uh, in the Art Department."

 

Brian reaches over to lay his briefcase down on the desk nearby. He sighs as he turns around to face his lover. "They're imbeciles who can't differentiate between properly executed fonts and colors."

 

"You mean like orange being the new blue?" Justin teases him as he places his hands on Brian's shoulders, even though by now it was probably a different color in the advertising world.

 

"Not everyone has your perception and talent, unfortunately," Brian grouses.

 

"Well, all my talents are at your disposal…Mr. Kinney." Justin smirks as he places his hands in the back pockets of Brian's pants.

 

"At the moment it's not your talent as an artist that interests me," Brian huskily tells him. He can't help kissing him repeatedly, exploring his mouth with his tongue as he firmly holds him in his arms.

 

"Hmmm," Justin sighs breathlessly as they finally break off the last kiss. "Brian…I'm starving. If you feed me first, you might get lucky." He hears Brian chuckle as he explains, "I would have fixed us something for dinner, but you didn't have anything edible in your refrigerator or the cabinets. Imagine that," he says dryly without any hint of surprise. 

 

"Really?" Brian remarks, playing along. "Nothing edible at all?" His eyes twinkle as he adds, "Because right now I'm looking at something that's very tasty."

 

Justin smacks him on the chest as he grins back at him. "Brian, come on! I'm hungry. For food. Seriously, can we order a pizza?" he asks hopefully, knowing Brian won't be able to resist him.

 

"No pizza! I do not eat carbs after seven; you know that, Sunshine."

 

Justin, however, isn't going to give up that easily. "So...Thai, then?

 

Brian nods finally in capitulation, just like Justin knew he would. "You can order it while I take a shower. You remember what I like?"

 

"Of course!" Justin responds as he places his hands on Brian's chest. "I haven't forgotten anything that you like." He gazes into his eyes meaningfully before giving Brian a quick peck on the lips, walking away to take care of their order just as his stomach growls right on cue. 

 

Brian snorts as Justin's face turns red. "I see that your appetite remains the same and intact. Go order dinner. I need to relax for a while in the shower." Brian strokes Justin's back from behind and squeezes his ass as he kisses him again before turning to walk toward the bathroom.

 

After a few minutes, Brian sees Justin entering the bathroom through the transparent glass as he joins him in the shower, just like he had hoped. He arches an eyebrow at him as if it was a big surprise to see him there, but of course they both know it isn't.

 

"We have a few minutes before the food arrives," Justin explains with a shrug. "I felt bored. Can you help me?" he asks with a seductive smile that goes straight to Brian's cock.

 

Brian smiles and pours shampoo into his hands to start sensually massaging Justin's scalp from behind as Justin sighs and purrs in contentment. He slides his hands around to his lover's chest as Justin leans into Brian's body to keep from losing his balance; his legs are beginning to refuse to hold him upright as he turns into a spineless, electrified mess.

 

Brian strokes lower, running his hands over the slippery stomach, heading toward his crotch; Justin moans as he finds his hard erection and begins to stroke him languidly. He pushes back and boldly rubs his ass against Brian's dick, knowing neither of them will be lasting long this time. Brian gently pushes him against the glass wall of the shower stall as his fingers seek entry to his lover's body and Justin whimpers and sighs in pleasure. As Brian's fingers probe around his hole, he kisses Justin's nape, neck and shoulders, sucking and biting, leaving marks on the body that gives him so much pleasure.

 

Justin turns his head, seeking out Brian's lips to make deeper contact. Brian grabs the lube and a condom in the built-in soap dish. Squeezing some lube onto his fingers, he gently places a second finger inside to scissor his lover open, causing Justin to buck into his fingers in exquisite need as Brian finds and massages his prostate. After several seconds, Brian withdraws his fingers, making Justin whine over their absence before he rips open the condom wrapper, making Justin tremble in anticipation. He grasps Justin's slender waist before he pushes in slowly, enjoying the warmth and tightness of the artist's body as Justin pushes back against him, seeking deeper penetration.

 

Justin growls in frustration as Brian seems to take forever to penetrate him all the way, sliding in at an excruciatingly slow pace as he holds onto his body for balance. Justin reaches down with one hand in an attempt to stroke himself, only to have Brian bat his hand away in a clear signal that he doesn't want to speed things along as Justin huffs in impatience. He seems determined to make Justin beg this time, and he finally succeeds when he hears him whisper his name longingly.

 

"Brian, please…" he keens, unable to endure anymore and beginning to lose control now. "You're driving me crazy! I can't stand it any longer! I need you in me deeper!"

 

He turns his head as the two of them kiss fiercely, just before Brian accelerates his pace and finally impales himself flush against Justin's body with a grunt. He begins to thrust rhythmically in and out now, harder and faster, as their moans echo off the shower stall in perfect choreography and they kiss once more.

 

Justin's cries of arousal become more vocal and more primitive, indicating to Brian that his lover is close now. Reaching around to Justin's cock, he places his hand over Justin's as they stroke him together as, abandoning all sense of control now, Brian quickens his pace even faster, knowing he, too, is about to climax.

 

"Do it," he demands, his voice low and throaty as his own pleasure builds. "Do it, Sunshine; come for me," he urges his lover. That is all it takes for Justin's entire body to spasm as he erupts with a scream of Brian's name, his come splashing all over the shower stall as it runs down the glass.

 

Brian feels Justin's ass muscles contracting around his cock just before he joins him, exploding in pleasure as he shoots into the condom, emitting a moan of great satisfaction. He holds tightly onto Justin then, his head resting on the curve of the pale shoulder as Justin braces himself against the glass and tries to regain his strength. He stands there, allowing himself to be held and knowing that he is where he really belongs now and realizing that he would do anything to stay here; this is where he wants to be.

 

After dinner, dressed only in a favorite pair of well-worn jeans, Brian lies lengthwise on the couch as he lights a cigarette and hands it to Justin, who is similarly attired and nestled in the V of Brian's legs, resting his head on his lover's bare chest. Waiting until Brian lights another one for himself, he decides to seize the moment of closeness and intimacy and follow Daphne's advice from earlier; wanting to desperately discuss what has been uppermost on his mind for some time.

 

"Brian?" He could feel his lover's chin resting on top of his head and a soft "hmm" before he dares to continue.

 

This is it, he decides, as he takes a deep breath. "We're together again, right?"

 

"You and I are here on this couch at present and at the same time. I think that would constitute one of the definitions of being together, if I'm not mistaken."

 

Another deep inhale. "Do you want me to stay here?" He holds his breath as he waits for an answer, knowing it was merely seconds that pass, but feeling like it is hours before Brian speaks again.

 

"I would not be too happy to see you walk out the door," he finally says in his own, enigmatic way.

 

So far, so good. Here comes the big one. "Do you still love me?" He bites his lip anxiously.

 

Brian suspects that he knows precisely what Justin wants him to say, so he steels himself for what never comes naturally to him and simply replies softly, "I do."

 

But Justin isn't quite done with his insecurity. "So you want me back in your life?"

 

It is much easier for Brian to talk like this. Lying with Justin in his arms in front of him, he does not have to stare into his eyes or see the fear and anxiety there. He idly plays with the soft, blond hair at the nape of Justin's neck that feels like strands of silk. Even now, even after all they had been through, it was still so hard for him to say the words aloud, but he desperately wants - and needs - Justin back in his life. He can no longer think about living without this man lying cradled in his arms.

 

"Yes," he answers truthfully. "I want you back in my life, Justin. And you?" he can't help asking.

 

Justin twists his head around just enough to be able to peer into Brian's eyes as he reassures him, "Brian, I love you so fucking much! That has never changed. You're all I've ever wanted. I can't think of my life without you in it. But if you want me, too, you need to let me make my own choices going forward."

 

He extinguishes the cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table before he turns his body now so he's lying face to face with Brian as he explains, "If we stay together, you can't stand next to me all the time wondering which might happen to me or push me away if you think it's for my own good." He gently brushes some hair back from Brian's expressive eyes as he adds with a whisper, "Besides, as long as I'm with you, it will always be what is best for me."

 

Brian reaches to put his own cigarette out. "I know I shouldn't have done some of the things that I did," he admits. "But…When you hurt, Sunshine, I hurt. You know I always want the best for you." He pauses. "I never thought I was the best for you."

 

"Brian…"

 

"No, Justin, let me finish," he quietly commands as Justin grudgingly nods. "You weren't the only one that was hurt back then; I was, too. But I want you to know that whatever I did - whatever I always do - will always be because I think it is right thing for you." He takes his hand and curves it around Justin's cheek as he tells him, "After…after what I did to you, I tried to go on with my life without you in it." He snorts. "But I soon found out that I didn't know how to be happy unless you were here with me. I tried to force you out of my mind, my thoughts, my life. But I couldn't. I thought about you during the day at Kinnetik, and when I tried to sleep at night. I was afraid that you would notice me hanging around all your exhibitions: Paris, London, Milan, Rome. I was pretty sure you would discover what I was doing, but I didn't care. I had to do it." He averts his eyes then, feeling inexplicably embarrassed and awkward.

 

Justin's eyes widen in shock. "I don't believe it!" he exclaims as his hands tighten on Brian's shoulders. "You WERE there? You mean I wasn't imagining it? But how? How did you accomplish it? Tell me!" 

 

"I never did miss any opening of your shows. I had been to all of them, starting with the first one at the GLC, remember? How could I not witness your success in Europe, then? I felt I had to be there."

 

Justin shakes his head in amazement; he should have known somehow. "How did you manage it?"

 

"I kept track of your career online and Cynthia provided me with whatever I needed. Only she knew what I was doing. No one else ever suspected, because they believed I was traveling somewhere in the U.S. Traveling has always been part of my work, so it didn't raise any red flags when I was gone frequently." He gazes into his lover's eyes as he admits, "I couldn't stay away from you. I needed to see you, even from a distance. I wanted to see your eyes, to see them light up over your success and your brilliance." He presses his forehead against his lover's as he maintains, "Justin, you're always been stronger than me. It was hell not being able to actually touch you and let you know that I was there."

 

Justin tells him, "I felt you there! It was so strong! I was always looking around at each opening and thinking - imagining that I thought, anyway - that I glimpsed you there from time to time. Now I'm sure I did! Shit. I wound up convincing myself that it couldn't possibly be you, because you didn't want me. I tried so hard to forget you, Brian. But even there I couldn't."

 

He sighs sorrowfully as Brian strokes his cheek with his fingers. "Brian, why do we do this to each other? Why do we always hurt each other? Daphne says that sometimes we're more like strangers than lovers, and I think she's absolutely right. "

 

Brian peers into his eyes as he dryly replies, "And here I thought Dr. Chanders was a pediatrician instead of a psychiatrist. But I think maybe she has a point," he concedes. "We are very fucked up; at least I know that I am. I don't know how else to be, Justin; that's why I need you to teach me. I need you to help teach me how to be happy - and more importantly, how to make YOU happy."

 

Justin gasps in astonishment; how could he not understand? "You've made me happy, Brian! Being here with you right now makes me happy! I've lived two years without you and I felt like I lost my heart along the way. Success, fame, even the obscene amount of money that I earned; it all meant nothing. None of this had any meaning for me, because I didn't have what I wanted the most. I wanted you! Everything was different without you, Brian. My art was different. My soul was missing. And my heart was still here with you." He inhales a shaky breath, his eyes glistening with regret over the time they had lost.

 

Brian purses his lips tightly together, feeling the sting of tears behind his own eyes as he tells him softly, "You weren't the only one, Justin. The only reason I had to go on was Gus, and the hope that someday I would see you again and we might be together somehow. I…I could feel you, though; in my heart," he says shyly, feeling like a fish out of water but knowing it is important that he make Justin understand. "I needed you. I wanted to see you so badly, to hear your voice, your laughter, to see you smile…Fuck, you always did have the most amazing smile…" 

 

His heart skips a beat then as Justin bestows a radiant smile on him as he can't help telling him, "Brian, I love you so much." 

 

Brian smiles at him tenderly; somehow he finds it easy to respond in kind this time. "I love you, too, Justin," he softly tells him.

 

The two men kiss and their passion flares anew as they begin to touch, smell, and taste each other once more, their eyes locked together as they surrender to one another unreservedly, lost in the pleasure that only they can give each other.

 

The mouths begin by exploring every inch of exposed skin. Justin scoots up slightly to kiss and nuzzle Brian's neck and the curvature of the shoulders, then flicks his tongue over golden skin as he slides down his lover's chest and abdomen while Brian's hands roam over his shoulders.

 

Brian buries his fingers in Justin's hair, allowing his boy to take care of his body, flooding his senses and taking over his reality, the only reality that means anything to him, relishing in the feeling of Justin's body flush against him. He vows silently that nothing will ever get in their way again; Justin is the one person who gives him direction. He is the sun to his darkness, the day to his night, and simply the love of his life. That is the real truth, the only reality now, and he is ready to openly accept and even embrace it. 

 

Justin licks possessively around Brian's navel, making him moan while driving his tongue into the cavity, licking and sucking on the sensitive flesh. He moves further down, opening the button of his jeans, pulling the zipper and freeing Brian's extremely hard cock at the same time. Justin tugs Brian's pants off, throwing them down onto the ground before bringing his attention back to his lover's body.

 

Brian sucks in a breath as Justin bites down on his hip and then licks around the wound before sliding his tongue along his groin, ruthlessly avoiding touching his engorged, painful cock. Brian moans louder, wishing Justin would stop the torture and touch him; but the blonde is not letting up now. Brian feels his hot breath next to his cock and the soft touch of his tongue as he finally begins to lick around the head gently.

 

Justin savors the precum leaking from Brian's penis and pushes his tongue over the slit, making Brian writhe and grunt with pleasure. He wraps his hand around the silky member, sucking on its impressive length as he takes it all the way to the back of his throat. He moans with Brian's cock in his mouth as he maddeningly increases the pressure on it and then licks along its length as he continues to suckle it. Realizing that Brian is very close to climax, Justin releases his dick with a soft popping sound and rises to remove his pants, quickly shedding them to join Brian's as he stands there, naked and just as hard as Brian. 

 

Brian sucks in a breath at the sight of his beautiful lover, wondering how he could have ever said goodbye before. "I want you, Sunshine," he whispers huskily as he rises from the couch to openly admire him. "I want to be inside you and feel your body on mine."

 

Justin's eyes gaze into Brian's as he softly tells him, "I want you, too, Brian! I want you inside me. "

 

Brian embraces his lover and gently lowers him onto the plush, carpeted floor. The two bodies sink into the soft material while Brian reaches over to retrieve the tube of lube and a condom in his pants pocket, smearing some of it around Justin's hole as he murmurs softly in encouragement, whispering nonsensical words to him over and over again. Justin hisses briefly as a finger is tentatively inserted into his body, a second one soon joining the first. Sensing that Justin is ready for him, Brian carefully withdraws his fingers and reaches for the condom package, finding his fingers trembling slightly as he pulls it down over his cock. His eyes locked on his lover's he lines himself up and slowly pushes in, more and more, until at last he brushes against Justin's prostate.

 

Justin gasps as a rush of pleasure flows through him, and Brian gives him a moment to adjust to the intrusion before Justin squeezes his thigh and wraps his legs around Brian's hips in a signal for him to continue.

 

Brian pulls out slightly and then thrusts in sharply, Justin moaning at the wondrous feeling of Brian completely inside him. After the initial thrust, Brian's subsequent motions become softer, interspersed with kisses and whispers between the two. Brian has had sex with countless men throughout his life, but it was not until he met Justin that he actually knew - or cared about - making love. He never worried about their enjoyment or satisfaction, convinced that it was an immense privilege simply to be fucked by him. But with Justin it was always different.

 

Now he realizes the difference; he can admit that he had always put Justin's pleasure above his own, ever since that first night he had brought him back to the loft on the night that Gus was born. He suspects that sex with Justin was always tinged with love as well as lust; it was more than Brian had been ready to admit at the time, however. Now, that didn't matter. He didn't have to deny anything, since he could look forward now to making love with the man he presently has in his arms.

 

Justin feels the orgasm building up in his body. He begins to stroke himself, matching his pace with Brian's, who continues to sensually and methodically move in and out of him. He moans out Brian's name over and over, his voice increasing in volume as he nears his climax.

 

His name on Justin's lips is magic to Brian's ears as he begins to pick up his pace, sensing that Justin is close; he is as well. He can feel both his and Justin's bodies tensing with impending climax when, as if they are one and the same body, they both fall over the edge together, Brian collapsing on top of him. Both sweaty and spent, they lay there fused together, unwilling at least for the moment to part. 

 

After making love, Justin lies in Brian's arms, gazing up tenderly at the man he loves, realizing that everything that is happening is real; it's not a dream, nor does he have to fear that when he wakes up it will all be gone like a summer wind. As he thinks about what has happened over the last several days, however, he can't avoid the shiver of fear that passes through his body, a slight but noticeable action that does not fail to capture Brian's attention.

 

"What?" Brian asks with concern as he holds Justin against his chest.

 

Justin hesitates for just a moment before he explains, "I'm so happy to be with you again, Brian, but I can't help feeling guilty about Luke. I'm also afraid that Chris Hobbs, somehow, will still find a way to get to us."

 

Brian's eyes soften with sympathy. "You should not feel guilty about him, Justin. None of what happened was your fault. And nothing will happen! That damned psycho will not come anywhere near me or you," he vows. "The police are going to find him and arrest him before that can ever happen. I promise I will keep you safe. I love you," he manages to say, finding it getting easier each time he says it. "And I promise that from now on I will do everything in my power to keep you in my life instead of pushing you away."

 

"You mean instead of pushing me off Mt. Kinney," Justin corrects him.

 

Brian smiles at the joke. "Yes, no pushing; not even a hint of it anymore."

 

"No more Mt. Kinney; swear on your best Armani suit," Justin teases him as he reaches up to place his fingers across Brian's lips. "And do you also promise to tell me everything before making any decisions about us?"

 

Brian's eyes bore into his as he whispers softly, "I promise, Sunshine. On my whole Armani collection."

 

Justin nods solemnly, satisfied, before he smiles at him. "That's good!"

 

Brian can't help smiling at him in return as his heart skips a beat. "Yeah, it is good." He leans down to kiss Justin before pulling back, his brow slightly furrowed with concern.

 

Justin realizes immediately that something is disturbing him as he inquires softly, "What is it? What are you thinking? Are you recalling something? Remember, you promised not to hide anything from me anymore..."

 

Brian hesitates for a moment before he finally asks quietly, "You and that pianist; Luke?"

 

Justin's eyes widen slightly. "Yes?" 

 

Brian swallows; it was painful to even think about, but for some reason he has to know. "You...Loved him?"

 

Justin shakes his head firmly before he smiles slightly, knowing exactly why Brian was asking. "No, Brian, I never loved him," he reassures him as he reached up to cup his cheek. "He was my friend. We were friends long before something happened between us. He was a cousin of Samantha's, Johnny's girlfriend, who shared an apartment with me and Tracy in New York, and a colleague of Daphne's. I met him when I arrived in New York and roomed with them. We became friends. You probably weren't aware that he was always on tour with the orchestra or that he was with a boyfriend at the time. He helped me establish some contacts for my first exhibition. We were both kind of bonded as starving artist types, I guess you would say. Then he won a permanent place in the orchestra; he was really good at what he did. When I started to get noticed for my art, I traveled to Europe but we still remained friends. I would talk to him on the phone from time to time and we would share what was going on in our lives."

 

Brian's hold on him tightens slightly as he continues, "Last year his boyfriend, who is a tenor, became extremely successful singing with the same orchestra and become an almost overnight sensation. His agent didn't think it would be a wise career move, though, if the public discovered that he was gay." Justin shakes his head in disgust as he peers into Brian's eyes. "Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" he asks dryly as Brian grimaces with a nod.

 

"Yeah," he murmurs, that period still a painful one in their lives. 

 

"Well, Luke's boyfriend took his manager's advice to heart and began to distance himself from him; it wasn't too long after that before he broke it off completely. Luke was devastated, and I tried as a friend to comfort him." Justin licks his lips a little nervously, but forges on; he has a suspicion that Brian isn't going to particularly like the next part, but he has to tell him all of it. "I liked Luke. I enjoyed talking with him and just hanging out with him." He takes a deep breath and lets it out. "I guess I should have seen it coming - and I don't know if it was on the rebound or what - but he started falling for me. He wanted a relationship with me, but I didn't want that."

 

Justin smiles up at Brian sheepishly as he confides, "All the guys I was with since I left for New York were one-time deals - no names or phone numbers. Something else that's familiar, huh? That was the only way, though, that I felt like I could cope with the pain of not being with you anymore. But Luke was persistent." Justin worries his lower lip as he admits, "It wasn't too long after that when he told me that he was in love with me. He told me that he didn't care that I didn't love him in return, and that I just wanted us to be friends."

 

He shakes his head. "I was so fucked up back then, Brian. I guess I needed someone to love me, because I eventually gave in and we started dating. I returned to New York about five months ago, and we became more of an actual couple for maybe the last two of those months. But we still were mainly just friends with benefits, I guess you would say. We liked the same things, and we could talk about pretty much anything with each other. He seemed to understand what I needed."

 

Justin senses uneasiness in his lover as he confirms, "I knew, though, that no matter what happened, he would never take your place in my life. No one ever could. But he was by my side and gave me what I needed at the time. It was really just friendship on my part; he knew it could never be anything more than that." Justin's eyes glisten with guilt nevertheless as he adds sorrowfully, "I feel so bad about him, Brian! I'll...I'll miss him so fucking much. He did not deserve to die." Despite Brian's reassurance about his lack of culpability in Luke's death, it still haunted him constantly. Luke was dead; he wasn't coming back - he couldn't come back. Hobbs had seen to that.

 

"Shhh," Brian soothes him as he pulls him tightly against him and holds him in a tight embrace. He knows all too well the feelings of helplessness that bubble to the surface when you are powerless to stop something from happening. He had felt precisely the same way back in that cold, cruel parking garage after the prom when Justin had almost been taken from him. Remorse and guilt; they were two emotions that went hand-in-hand to jeopardize your sanity. He was not going to let Justin go through the same hell that he had experienced. He did not deserve it, and he simply wouldn't allow it.

 

He cups Justin's head in his hands as he stares into the watery, blue eyes. "Justin, listen to me. I wasn't there for you before, but I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. You're allowed to cry; hell, anyone would after what you've been through! But you can't allow the pain to overwhelm you. You can't let this bastard win. You can't let him get away with this. Luke would not want that. You said that he loved you. Well, I'm sure above all he would want you to be happy. You need to be happy - for him and for me. Promise me, Justin. Don't let Hobbs win this time." His eyes bore resolutely into his as he repeats it a little more loudly, "Promise me, Sunshine." 

 

Justin sniffles before he finally nods his head and a slight smile of gratitude - and love - appears on his face. "I promise, Brian. I won't let that happen. As long as I'm with you, I know we'll come out of this okay." 

 

Brian nods, satisfied, before he kisses him and hugs him firmly against his body, wrapping him in his arms and nuzzling his hair with his lips. "Good boy," he murmurs as he closes his eyes in sweet relief, the rest of the world - and its troubles - temporarily forgotten.

 

At the Novotny-Bruckner residence

 

Ben Bruckner has lost count of how many times his angry husband has paced and back forth on their living room carpet. But he knows Michael is highly agitated; it is evident in the rigid stance of his shoulders and his reddened face. 

 

"You will never believe what he fucking said, Ben! I can hardly believe it."

 

Ben begins to mentally count to ten, waiting for his husband to continue; he barely makes it to three before Michael erupts as he whirls around to face him. 

 

"He told me that he loves Justin and wants him back in his life! Do you believe that? Brian Kinney claiming that he loves someone and wants to live with him! That's preposterous enough, but Justin of all people? Why? Doesn't he realize that Justin doesn't love him? He's using him just to get what he wants! He doesn't deserve him, Ben, not after what he did! For fuck's sake, he cheated on him! And then when he asked him to marry him - and bought that mansion for him - what does he do then? He dumps him and runs off to New York to be famous! Apparently Brian wasn't good enough for him. So what's to keep him from running off again? He's going to make Brian suffer all over again, Ben, and I can't let that happen! Brian's my best friend." He shakes his head in disbelief. "Why won't he listen to me? Why is he letting Justin do this to him? Why...?" 

 

Ben rolls his eyes in barely-contained annoyance. "Michael ..."

 

"...I've got to do something, Ben. Brian's got blinders on when it comes to Justin...I..."

 

Michael gasps slightly as Ben grips him then by the upper arms. "MICHAEL!"

 

He blinks in surprise. "What, Ben?"

 

"Michael, listen to me! I've spent the last hour hearing you ranting about why Brian and Justin shouldn't be together, but so far I haven't heard a sufficient reason to justify your argument. Give me a good reason why they should not be together."

 

"What are you talking about, Ben? I thought I had already done that! Brian doesn't 'do' relationships; he doesn't know how to love anyone - at least not like that. He made a mistake before when he told Justin that he did. Hell, I bet he's still bringing home a different trick every night just like he always did; at least, until Justin waltzed back into his life and cramped his style. He's just tolerating him, I tell you!"

 

Ben is disgusted; how dense can he be? "Michael, you're wrong. Brian does know how to love and be in a relationship. But only with Justin. He loves him and wants to be with him; can't you see that? That's what he's always wanted. Since the first day that I saw them together years ago, it was obvious to me how much they loved each other and wanted to be together. Why are you so blind about this?"

 

Michael's mouth gapes open in astonishment. "Ben, I've known Brian since we were 14 years old! I'm his best friend and I know what is best for Brian. And it's best that Brian stay away from Justin. He's just a big disruption in his life, and he does not need that shit." 

 

Ben releases his grip on Michael as he stands there in shock. "Okay, let me get this straight, Michael. In your opinion, the best thing for Brian - your best friend - is for him to be unloved, drunk, and high and have a different trick come home with him every night so he can have meaningless sex and live a lonely, empty existence. Have I got that right? That's what you want for your best friend?" 

 

Michael looks at him aghast. "No, of course not! But..."

 

"Are you happy with me, Michael? Are you happy being married to me? Are you happy in this house, with our life together and with our children? Are you?" 

 

Michael peers over at him in disbelief. "Yes, of course I am! How can you ask me that? This has nothing to do with us!"

 

"Yes, it does," Ben insists. "If you're happy living here with me, then why don't you think that your own best friend can't experience being happy with Justin just like you and I are?"

 

"It's not the same thing, Ben!" Michael insists obstinately. "It won't work for them. They're not like us!"

 

"No, they aren't!" he agrees. "Just like Ted and Blake are different and Emmett and Drew are different. But they've found a way to be happy in their relationships, just like we are. Brian and Justin can find the same thing, just in their own unique way. No relationships are the same, because people are different. What works for one may not necessarily work for another." Ben sighs. "If they want to be together - and I really think they do - then they will find a way to do that. And as their friends, we should be happy for them, too. Don’t you agree?" Silence prevails. "Michael?" 

 

Michael shakes his head doubtfully. "I can't imagine Brian being that happy," he persists.

 

"Michael, Lindsay used to call him Peter Pan, didn't she? Obviously because she thought he would never grow up. But he did; he has. He's discovered what it is to love and be loved, and as his best friend you should want him to be happy." He pauses as he presses his lips tightly together; amazed that he has to go down this road once again. "...Or maybe you would rather take Justin's place." 

 

Michael pales. "No! I don't want to take Justin's place! I love you, Ben! I'm happy with you. You're the one that I want to be with! How can you ask me that? I just worry about him, that's all."

 

"Then let him live his own life, Michael. Truly be his best friend. He's 38-years-old! It's high time for him to be permitted to grow up. Let him be happy with the man that he loves. And be happy for them. Let them find their own way. Because if you keep this up, mark my words; you will lose your so-called best friend. If you mess up his last chance with Justin, he won't forgive you for it."

 

"Ben, I guess you have a point," Michael concedes at last. "But what if I turn out to be right?" he asks quietly. "What if Justin does abandon him again?"

 

"I know that's not going to happen," Ben tells him with conviction. "But if something does happen, you will be there for him if he needs you and asks for your help. For now, though, you need to stop interfering or you will lose the friendship that you hold so dear. And if you don't, I will not support you...not to mention I will be deeply disappointed in you, Michael."

 

"No, Ben, I won't let that happen!" Michael exclaims as he reaches to clasp his husband's hands. "You make me happy! You're the one that I love!"

 

"I love you, too, Michael," he assures him to Michael's relief. "But promise me that you will no longer interfere in their lives, then, or try to talk Brian into staying away from Justin. That is the best way to demonstrate what a good friend you are - to both of them."

 

"Okay. I promise." He holds up two fingers in the universal 'Scouts Honor' signal as Ben nods, satisfied at last. 

 

"Well. Now that we have that settled, you can stop trying to wear out our new carpet and use some of that energy instead for more pleasurable matters." He smiles as he playfully waggles his eyebrows. "That is, if you have any energy left..."

 

Michael grins. "I think I have some left in reserves, definitely."

 

Ben grins back at him as he replies, "Then let's go use some of it up in the bedroom and forget about everyone else for a while, shall we?" 

 

Michael nods with a smile. "Sounds like a plan." 

 

 

Across Town...

 

"It's all there, just like I promised."

 

The person nods. "Ten thousand dollars?" he presses, as he cards through the bundle of bills in the envelope.

 

"Yes, that's what we agreed upon," is the terse reply. "So do you want me to tell you the details?"

 

"No, thanks. I...I trust you."

 

Charles Sanders nervously passes the small package to the young man, receiving a look so sinister that chills run down his spine; it is the same reaction he always has whenever he has to deal with this person. He eyes his companion curiously.

 

"Just what exactly are you gonna do with that?" he can't help asking.

 

"That's none of your business," he is told tersely.

 

"Maybe not. But I don't want any hassle with the police."

The other person eyes him with dry amusement. "A little late for that now, don't you think?"

 

Sanders shrugs. "I won't say anything if you don't say anything."

 

"Don't worry! We don't know each other, and we've never met."

 

Sanders nods. "Yeah; that's right. It's better that way," he agrees instantly.

 

His companion is anxious to part from him. "So get the hell away from here."

 

Sanders is all too happy to comply. "No problem! I wish I could say it's been a pleasure, but..."

 

"Just fuck off, Sanders."

 

Sanders huffs in aggravation, but quickly opens the door to make his escape. The other man looks at him carefully as he walks over and gets into his own vehicle to drive off. As the other man hastily makes his exit, he glances down at the thick package in his hands and smiles in anticipation.

 

"Almost time," he murmurs. "It won't be long now before I get exactly what I want." An evil gleam appears in his eyes as he starts up his own car and, using the darkness of night, slowly creeps away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments are welcome.


	10. Always With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin finally discovers the truth behind Brian's absence during one of the most difficult times of his life.

"Sunshine!!"

 

The joy-filled shriek reverberates throughout the house, threatening to shake the rafters, as Debbie grabs Justin in a fierce bear hug, even though it had only been a short time since she had last seen him. 

 

Justin smiles at her affectionately despite her over exuberance as he replies, "Hello, Debbie. Are my Mom and Molly here?" His first concern was his family in light of what had been going on in his life.

She nods as she finally loosens her tight hold on him. "Of course, Honey! They're in your old room. You ARE having lunch with us, right? I made one of your favorites - lasagna." The words are spoken as more of a demand or at the very least a statement rather than a question, however. With Debbie, it is considered an insult to say no. Unfortunately, however, that is precisely what Justin will have to do as he shakes his head regretfully. 

 

"Sorry, Debbie! You know I love your lasagna, but I'm eating lunch with Brian and then we'll be driving to the airport to pick up Lindsay and Gus."

 

She nods solemnly, but there is a mischievous gleam in her eye. "You'd better have a good reason for passing up my lasagna, Sunshine!" she mockingly growls, but it is obvious that she isn't really angry. She smiles. "Ben and Michael are going to get JR; I'm dying to see my sweet, little granddaughter again. She's such a peach, don't you think?" 

Justin grins. "Yeah, she is. I saw both her and Gus four months ago when I went to Toronto to visit them."

"You went to Toronto?"

Justin nods in the affirmative to Debbie's surprise. "Yeah, I make sure to go visit the girls and JR - and especially Gus - whenever I can. He's always been very important to me, you know that. And Lindsay always brings Gus with her whenever she has a chance to come to New York to see my exhibitions. She knows I would be disappointed if she didn't bring him." He smiles. "We share a very important date together after all." 

Debbie lets go of Justin as she asks him softly, "Does Brian know about these visits?" 

Justin shrugs. "I guess so. It was never meant to be a secret, anyway." 

"Well, he never said anything, and neither did Michael! But you could travel to Canada and not here? For two years?" Her eyes flash with reproach and perhaps just a bit of hurt as Justin peers over at her a little ashamed. He feels that he needs to explain, even if he did have good reasons.

 

"Debbie, it would have been very difficult for me to come to Pittsburgh. I figured I would run into Brian eventually, and that would have been very painful for me. Instead, I asked Mom and Molly to visit me in Paris. Also, from a logistical standpoint, I couldn't leave Europe and come back here to the States. It wasn't personal; surely you know that." 

Debbie places her palm against Justin's cheek as she reassures him softly, "You don't have to apologize, Sunshine; I do understand. You were always good about sending me such wonderful postcards from Europe during your travels, and you did call. Not to mention that I received one of the most wonderful Christmas presents I have ever gotten: a genuine, Justin Taylor original painting! It's my most prized possession." She smiles as she nods her head over toward the wall above the mantelpiece where it is proudly displayed. The painting shows Debbie at the diner, red wig, vest and all, standing by a booth with her order pad in one hand and pencil in the other, a big smile on her face as she looks over at all the boys who would always come to visit her back in the 'old days': Em, Ted, Brian, Michael and him. 

Justin smiles at her gratefully, relieved she isn't upset. "Thanks, Debbie. I did that one especially for you; obviously, you were my inspiration for it," he tells her with a grin. "I'm glad you like it. You know you're like a second mother to me; you always have been, ever since you took me in that day." 

She smiles at him tenderly as she pats his cheek. "And you're like a son to me, Justin. So what about Brian? Is the asshole treating you well? I hope he's taking good care of your ass - or I'll kick his ass." 

"Debbie!" Justin exclaims with a laugh, embarrassed. They didn't have time to continue their discussion as a blonde blur rushes down the steps and bounces up to them. 

"Justin! I told Mom that it was you!" 

"Hey, Mollusk!" Justin replies, smiling at her as he affectionately ruffles the top of her head. "How is everything going?" He was so thankful that at least he didn't have to worry about his family's safety. 

 

Her eyes light up in response to his question. "Awesome! Debbie and Carl are great! And Emmett is so much fun! He's amazing! I'm going to miss it here when we go back home," she tells him. "Mom's still kind of worried about everything, though." 

 

Justin leans down and gives his sister a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry your life had to be disrupted, Molly. I want everything to go back to normal, too. "

 

Her eyes grow large as she starts to babble excitedly. "Are you kidding me? I'm having so much fun; this is great! Now I know why you liked living here so much! Debbie let me help her out at the diner yesterday; I got to wait on people and everything! And she even gave me my own name tag! And I even got tips! The people were so nice, and I got a free lunch, including dessert! I think I'll ask Mom if I can keep working there. Oh, and you should have seen Dad's face when he showed up here, trying to make Mom and me leave. But Carl said I was under special police protection and I was safe right where I was. He was furious! I think he's afraid I'll turn into a lesbian," she decided as Justin covered his mouth to hide his smile. "I think when I get home, I'll just go up and say to him, 'Dad, guess what? I'm a lesbian!' just to see what his reaction is! It would be hilarious! Oh, that reminds me! When this is all over and they arrest that guy, can you and Brian take me to Babylon? What good is it to have a brother whose boyfriend owns a dance club if I can't go there? And you don't have to worry about me being underage," she assures him as she continues to babble excitedly. "I have a fake ID." Finally Molly comes up for air as she looks at Justin expectantly. 

Justin merely feels dizzy over the fact that his sister could say all that in one breath. He couldn't help laughing at her before his face dissolves into something more serious. "What was HE doing here? He shouldn't be involved! Mom has custody of you, not him." His father was the LAST person he wanted to see right now. To him, he wasn't a father to him anymore.

Molly shrugs. "He thought I was being 'wrongly influenced,' I guess. Like I might turn out to be gay because I was 'exposed to you.' 

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" Justin growls.

Molly nods. "I know that! Don't you think I've known you were gay for a long time? I've known since I was little, Jus. Even when I really didn't know what it meant to BE gay."

"You did?"

She smiles as if it had been a foregone conclusion. "Of course! I mean, don't get me wrong; you always have been a pain in the ass like most older brothers usually are," she teases him. Her face grows serious, however, as she adds, "But you never bullied me. And I never heard you talking about girls; the only girl you ever really talked about was Daphne, but she didn't count because I knew she was your best friend. You never fought with me over the remote, or watched sports on TV. You drew and painted with me and we watched that silly Beatles movie over and over. And you took me to my swimming lessons."

Justin has to laugh. "Molly, just because I didn't like sports and preferred to paint and watch Yellow Submarine, instead, didn't necessarily mean I was gay!" 

"I know," she replies as she grins. "You were just different, that's all. Somehow I just knew."

"Molly…" Justin patiently tries to explain.

"By the way, you always did prefer older guys, didn't you?" she interrupts as she goes off on another tangent. "I saw the way you looked at Mr. Preston and smiled at him."

"Your homeroom teacher in middle school?" Justin asks, embarrassed, as she nods. His sister always was a little too perceptive for her own good. His face flushes at the realization that he had been caught. Mr. Preston was quite a handsome teacher, and young as well; when Molly had him for homeroom, it had been his first year teaching, so he was barely out of college. "You noticed that?" 

She giggles. "Of course I did!" She smiles at her brother's red face as she tells him affectionately, "You were a pain in the neck sometimes, Jus, but you've always been the best brother in the world." She impulsively grabs Justin in a tight hug as she whispers against his chest, "I've missed you so much, and I'm so glad you're back!" 

The two siblings pull back as Molly tells him softly, "You know that, right?" 

Justin's eyes water as he nods. "I feel the same way, Molly. And I'm glad to be back, too." 

Debbie's eyes also fill with tears as she wipes them away, mumbling that she has to go set the table for lunch, leaving the two alone. 

Justin smiles at his sister. "Just promise me that you won't tell Dad that you're gay! He would have an absolute fit." 

"But it would be so much fun!" Molly insists. "I bet Brian would approve of my idea." 

"I knew that man was a bad influence!" Debbie yells from the kitchen as she shakes her head in amusement. "But she's right; I wouldn't mind that asshole getting a taste of his own medicine, too." 

"Deb, don't encourage her!" Justin calls over to his 'second' mother before he turns back to his sister. "And one more thing, Mollusk; you can't keep working at the Diner. First, you have to concentrate on your studies. And then, maybe when you're out of school during the summer or you graduate before you attend college, you can help her out again." 

Her lower lip juts out in a pout. "But you worked there!" she points out. 

Justin holds onto her upper arms with his hands as he snorts. "That was different, Molly! I was kicked out of the house, remember? Debbie was nice enough to let me live here with her, and I needed the money. I really didn't have a choice like you do." 

"Yeah, and that perfect, little bubble butt really brought in the tips, let me tell you," is the comment from the kitchen as Justin blushes. 

Molly giggles as her brother asks, "And about that fake I.D. What are you doing with one of those? Does Mom know about it?" 

She harrumphs. "As if you didn't have one at my age." 

 

"She's got a point, Sunshine!" 

 

"Debbie, please, you're not helping here!" Debbie grins over at him from the kitchen table as she makes a zipping motion across her mouth. 

"Justin, calm down! It’s not like I'm out there getting drunk, using drugs or going to clubs to have sex with older guys. Seems to me that someone else I know had a fake I.D. when THEY were seventeen. Does that ring a bell?"

"Don't change the subject." 

Molly sighs in exasperation. "Don't worry! It's just in case I need it for emergencies when I go out with my friends." 

"Yeah, it's those emergencies that I worry about."

"Justin, I'm seventeen; almost eighteen! I know what I’m doing! So don't stress about it! Mom already worries enough for the both of you. And besides, I stopped being a virgin a long time ago, and…"

 

Justin covers his ears. "Aaargh! Stop right now, Molly; I don't want to hear the gory details!" 

She grins. "Okay. But I promise you that I know all about safe sex, how to protect myself, and how to stay away from the big, bad men." 

 

Justin shakes his head in resignation. "Okay, okay; you win!" 

Her eyes light up. "So you and Brian will take me to Babylon?"

 

"No! No Babylon for you," he insists as her face falls. "That is no place for a girl your age."

 

"But you took Daphne there when she was my age," she counters, not quite ready to give up yet. 

Justin's mouth partially falls open. "Who's been giving you a play-by-play account of my life?"

"I didn't need one. I overheard the two of you talking, and I have an excellent memory. Pleaaaasseeee?" she cajoles, but Justin firmly shakes his head. 

She huffs. "Okay, then! If YOU won't take me, I'll just ask Brian. Since he's my brother again and the owner of the club, I'm sure he won't prevent me from going." 

"You will not ask Brian, and he is not your brother!"

"I know you're in denial about your relationship with him. But I know exactly what he means to you and what you mean to him. Consequently, I know what he means to me. So you can deny it all you want, but as far as I'm concerned, he's my brother just like you are." Molly grins over at Justin widely - so much like her brother's smile - as she begins to plead in earnest now. "Justin, come on! Please? I love you so much. You're the most beautiful and wonderful brother on Earth! I'll die of curiosity if I don't get the chance to see it! Please take me! I'll owe you forever if you do, and I'll do anything that you want. Please, please, please…" 

 

Justin lets out a heavy breath as he throws up his hands in defeat. "All right, all right!" As Molly begins to jump and down excitedly, he advises her sternly, "But you'll only dance with me or Brian or Emmett. And you will only drink what we give you - nonalcoholic - and will watch it at all times! And most importantly, when we get ready to leave, you will go with us without complaining." 

 

Molly throws herself at her brother as she hugs his neck and kisses him on the cheek before letting him go. "Yes! Thank you! Have I told you that I love you?"

"Why does this sound familiar?" Debbie quips from nearby as she watches yet another persistent, 17-year-old Taylor sibling wear someone down. "Do you all learn it from the cradle?" she adds with a laugh.

 

Justin shakes his head at her with a smile as Jennifer walks down from upstairs. Spying her son, she smiles affectionately at him in pleasure as she walks over to him and Molly. 

"Hi, Honey!" 

"Hi, Mom," he answers as she gives him a short hug. 

"How are you doing, Justin?" she asks him quietly as she looks into his eyes. "Are you and Brian doing okay?"

"We're fine, Mom," he assures her. "Brian's taking good care of me." 

"Mom, look at that silly smile on his face," Molly helpfully points out beside their mother. "I imagine his and Brian's makeup sex the last two days has been the stuff that legends are made of." 

 

"Molly!!" Jennifer and Justin both reprimand the teenager as Debbie can no longer suppress her laughter.

 

"I love this girl!" she exclaims with a laugh. 

Justin feels the heat rising on his face as he tells his mother, "Don’t worry about me. I'm fine at Brian's loft. We've…We've reached an understanding, and everything's good right now. I just came over here to find out how you and Molly are doing. She told me that Dad had been here." Just using the title Dad for the man who now wants nothing to do with him causes a sour taste to rise up in Justin's throat. He really didn't even deserve to be called 'Dad.'

Jennifer nods apologetically. "He came here wanting to take Molly back with him and spouting the same, old, tired hatred and bigotry." She tries to reassure her son with a smile, however, as she tells him, "But everything's been resolved. He is not coming back here, and Molly made it quite clear to him that she does not want anything to do with him. And I supported her decision." 

"Thanks, Mom," Justin tells her softly with gratitude. 

She nods. "It wasn't that hard a decision to make, Justin." She pauses as she hears Debbie puttering around in the kitchen nearby. "Would you like to stay for lunch?" 

"No, I can't," he advises her. "But I have something to tell you." His mother's brow lifts in expectation as he informs her, "I…I remembered the Prom, Mom." 

 

Jennifer's eyes grow wide with shock. "Oh, my God, Justin! When did that happen?"

 

"Remember when I passed out on the couch?" His mother nods. "Well, I started having this vision in my head about it, almost like I was reliving it all over again like a movie. And I remember the entire dance."

"I'm so happy for you, Sunshine!" Debbie squeals from nearby as Justin beams. 

Jennifer smiles tentatively, a little worried about her son reliving that tumultuous night. "How did it make you feel, remembering? Are you okay with it?" 

 

To her relief, her son smiles as his eyes get lost in the memory. "Mom, I remember Brian and me dancing; we were out there in the middle of the dance floor all by ourselves, and everyone was watching us! It was so incredible! I mean, Daphne has always tried to help me relive it through her memory of it. But until I actually remembered it myself, I could never quite comprehend just how special a night that was." His eyes refocused on his mother as he smiled at her and told her, "The way that Brian looked at me as we danced. He was in love with me, even back then! I realize that now. He didn't say it out loud; but I still could tell."   
"Justin," his mom whispers, her voice choking with emotion and happiness for him. "I'm so happy for you, Sweetheart." They pull back to look into each other's eyes as Debbie walks up and grabs Justin's shoulder to kiss him on the cheek, taking a moment to wipe some of the lipstick off his face with her finger. 

"That is so wonderful, Honey," she tells him, her voice breaking. "I always told you that he loved you, didn't I? I know that man. He has never fooled me. You were the only one who could touch his heart like no man ever has or ever could. He's always loved you, Baby. I knew that Matt guy had to be a big ruse, because that man could never love anyone else the way that he loves you." 

Justin smiles through his own tears. "I know that now, Deb. I just had to make sure. If I had only known, so many things could have been different ..."

"Justin, listen to me. You can't fill your life with 'what if's' and regrets; what's happened in the past is over. You can only move ahead. I just hope that Brian has learned his lesson and that from now on he will work hard at making you happy. Otherwise, I'll cut off his one remaining ball with my paring knife and pickle it in one of my Mason jars." 

Justin laughs at that image. "Debbie, go a little easy on him," he pleads with a smile. 

 

Debbie turns to Justin's mom to tell her, "Jen, I'm tired of taking over for Brian and caring for Sunshine here whenever he pushes him away. So I'm hoping that Brian finally makes good on his promise to make him happy." She pats Justin's cheek fondly as she reassures him, "You'll always have a place here with me anytime you need it, Sunshine." 

Justin grins back at her wryly in understanding. "Thanks, Deb, but I'm hoping that won't be necessary anymore." His face sobers a little as he tells them, "I can remember a lot more than I could before. I still can't understand, though, after our dance that night why Brian never came to see me at the hospital." His voice was sorrowful. That was one fact that plagued him. If Brian had clearly been in love with him that night, how could he have stayed away when he was fighting to recover? He had to know that it would have meant the world to him to know that he was there by his side. 

He notices his mother looking uncomfortable as she bites her lip anxiously. "Mom…?"

"Justin…Honey…Actually, he was there." 

Three pairs of eyes turn to stare at her, startled, as Debbie emits a soft gasp of shock. 

"What?! You mean he did come to see me there? How do you know that? Were you with him? And why didn't you tell me?" His eyes blaze with hurt and anger.  
Jennifer sighs as she explains, "He was apparently there every night, even though I didn't see him myself. He stayed outside your room while you slept. He asked a lot of questions of the nurses from what I understand - about your prognosis and your rehabilitation. He came in every evening around 7:00 when the shift changed and stayed until early morning. The night nurses were constantly telling me about this tall, handsome, dark-haired man who came to watch over you each night you were there. It had to be Brian." 

Molly swoons at the thought, uttering a soft sigh over the romantic connotation as Justin bristles over what he had never known. "Mom, you should have told me! Why? Why didn't you ever say anything to me? Shit!" 

 

"Justin, your condition was very fragile back then, mentally AND physically! When it happened, I was so worried about you, and yes, angry over what had happened. Right or wrong, I blamed Brian in a way for what happened to you, and I didn't want him near you. I thought if you didn't know - and couldn't remember that night - that the two of you would just drift apart on your own. Then you became so combative - and wouldn't let anyone touch you - that I had to acknowledge that he might be the only one who could bring you back to me and be the son that I remembered. And he did; he performed a miracle with you - something I will always be grateful to him for." 

Justin huffs in irritation. "You have a funny way of showing it, Mom. Don't you realize how much that would have meant to me? To know what he had done?"   
Jennifer sighs apologetically. "I know. I didn't keep it from you on purpose, Honey. I figured by now that Brian had told you. If I had found out otherwise, I would have told you long ago." She lets out a tense breath. "I'm sorry, Honey. I really am." 

"Mom, you know Brian! He would have never told me that. To him, it would have made him look like he had some sort of weakness; a vulnerability." He laughs ironically. "Me." 

Debbie nods her head. "Yes," she agrees softly. "That would have been just like the little asshole." 

 

"Wow!" Molly dreamily replies with a smile. "He really loves you so much, Jus. What a fool he was! 

"No, Molly," Justin counters. "We both were fools, at least when it comes to our relationship. Hopefully we're finally on the right track." He turns to look over at his mother. "I'm still not happy that you didn't tell me, Mom," he informs her. "But…I guess I understand if you thought Brian had already told me about it." He sighs. "If I had only known back then…" He inhales a deep breath and lets it out. "But I know now, and that makes me happy to know that he didn't forget me." He glances over at Debbie's rooster clock above her sink as he tells the others, "I have to get going; I need to track down Brian so we can go pick up Gus and Lindsay at the airport." 

"Justin…"

"Mom, it's all right," he reiterates as she nods in relief. "I'm okay. I'll see all of you later," he tells them as he hurries to go. "Molly, we'll talk about what we discussed later, okay?" 

She nods at him with a smile. "Don't forget!"

He grins as he reaches the door, knowing exactly what she is referring to. "I won't," he promises her as he opens the door to leave. 

"Don't be a stranger! And give them all a hug from me!" Deb calls out as, with a nod in acknowledgement, he heads outside.

 

A Short Time Later at Kinnetik…

 

"Justin!" Cynthia exclaims in delight as she instantly recognizes the slender, blond-haired man walking into Kinnetik. "How great to see you! How are you?"

Justin grins at her as he leans down over her desk to plant a quick kiss on her cheek before pulling back to stand up straight. "I'm fine, Cynthia. How are you? Still trying to keep Brian in line?" he teases as she rolls her eyes at him.

She snorts. "Easier said than done, as you well know." She grins at him as Justin nods in understanding. "By the way, congratulations on all your success! It's well deserved," she tells him sincerely.

He grins back at her in gratitude. "Thanks, Cynthia; I really appreciate that. Oh, and Brian told me how you helped him so he could see my shows. Thank you for what you did." 

Cynthia blushes slightly as she tells him, "There's no need to thank me, Justin. I've always liked you and admired your talent, so I was happy to do it. Besides, I like my boss a whole lot better when he's around you." 

Justin laughs. "Well, I'll do my best to keep him under control. Is he in his office?" She nods. "Mind if I just go in?" 

"Are you kidding?" she teases him. "You know you don't need to be announced." 

Justin nods, secretly pleased. "Thanks again." 

 

Justin smiles brightly at Brian a few minutes later as he spies his lover hunched over his desk, staring at some paperwork scattered all over the glass surface. "Hey!" he calls out. 

Brian looks up and flashes him a pleased smile before his face turns into a frown. "Did you come here by yourself, Mr. Taylor?" 

Justin rolls his eyes. "Hardly. Don't worry; my pit bull bodyguard is outside, waiting in his own car." 

Greatly relieved, Brian nods as his smile returns. "Right answer! Come here," he commands sexily as Justin is happy to oblige, promptly rushing over and plopping down on his lover's lap as Brian's hands slide around his waist to help hold him in place. He immediately links his hands behind Brian's neck and pulls him down for a deep kiss, releasing his lips several seconds later with a decided 'plop' before he unbuttons Brian's partly-opened shirt a little more and begins to rain gentle kisses along the corded flesh of his neck and collarbone. 

Brian moans softly in response as he whispers, "What's all this for?" 

"It's my way of saying thank you," Justin replies sincerely, his voice soft as he pulls back to gaze into Brian's face. 

Brian smiles. "For what? For allowing you to bask in my shadow? Because I'm fabulous and I give you the best fucks of your life?" 

Justin's lips curl upward into a smile. "Something like that. It's to thank you for loving me and always taking care of me; even when I didn't realize it."   
He swoops in to plunge his tongue into Brian's mouth to explore the hot wetness inside, sucking on his lower lip as he takes his lover's breath away by the intensity of his passion. 

When he is finally able to pull away to look into the darkened, blue eyes, Brian informs him, "Not that I'm complaining, but can you tell me what I did exactly to deserve this extra-special treatment?" 

Justin's hands came up to cup Brian's face as he gazes into his eyes and tells him softly, "I went to visit my Mom and Molly at Deb's today. I told her how I had finally remembered the Prom, and she told me something very interesting, also." 

"Oh?" Brian holds his breath. 

"Yeah. She told me that the nurses informed her that someone I know and love came to visit me at the hospital while I was recovering - every fucking night. Would you by chance know who that was, Brian?" 

Brian averts his eyes down awkwardly. "Oh, that," he murmured, shocked that his secret would ever be revealed. "It wasn't that big a deal." 

Justin's fingers tighten their grip on Brian's face as he forces his head upward to meet his gaze. "Not a big deal? Brian, you know how much that would have meant to me - to know that you were there after all. Why in the hell didn't you let me know? Why didn't you tell me?" 

Brian sighs as he looked into Justin's eyes. "I couldn't do anything for you after what happened, Justin! I felt helpless back then. But I couldn't just stay away; I had to know how you were. Being there at night - when none of your friends and family were around - was the easiest way for me to do that." 

Justin shakes his head at this crazy, stubborn man. "But you could have told me, Brian." 

"Your mother found out; the nurses told me they had mentioned it to her. I figured she would let you know. Besides, it wouldn't have really changed anything. It was just something I needed to do. I needed to make sure you were going to be okay." 

Justin sighs. "Brian…I wish I had known. But it's like Debbie told me. We can't go back now; we can only move forward. And that's what I want to do. Move forward with you." Justin leans his forehead against Brian's as he whispers, "Thank you for not giving up on me, Brian." 

"How could I?" Brian replies, tongue in cheek. "You've always been one annoying, persistent stalker." Leaning back to see the look of mock annoyance on Justin's face, Brian grins back at him. 

Justin smiles proudly. "Yes, I am. And that's why you love me." 

Brian knows there is no point in denying it any longer. "You know I do," he admits quietly. "Now let's end this enchanting, lesbionic moment, grab some lunch, and head out to the airport to pick up Lindsay and Gus." 

Justin nods as he reluctantly removes himself from Brian's lap so his lover can scoot back from his desk and stand up. "Okay. But tell me first…"

"Why you're such an annoying brat?" 

"Well…"

"How you've become the champion at giving the best blow jobs?" 

"That's a little better…"

"Why I have such an obsession for your ass?" 

Justin grins. "You're getting warmer, but…"

"I thought so." He reaches down briefly to squeeze Justin's groin as he replies, "How I love your cock and your white cream?" 

"That’s even better," Justin agrees, but he still wants more. "But not exactly right. Say it, Brian…"

Brian stares into his lover's eyes, completely mesmerized. His heart skips a beat as he takes a deep breath to steel himself. Just say it, you coward, he silently berates himself as he finally inhales a breath and lets it out before staying, "I love you, Sunshine. There; are you happy now?" 

Justin beams a 100-watt smile back at him as Brian rolls his eyes. "Yes! Very." He whispers back in heartfelt response, "I love you, too," before the two men come together for a passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this chapter to correct a part of the show that always bothered me: How Justin apparently never discovered that Brian had come to see him regularly while he was recovering from his bashing. I hope you enjoyed the different spin I put on this situation. 
> 
> In my story, Molly loves to write, just like Justin is passionate about art. Since she really had little involvement in canon on the show, I wanted to expand upon her character and draw her closer to her brother, while at the same time being influenced more by her mother than her father. I like to think that once she observed Craig's homophobic bigotry toward her brother, she would have distanced herself from him. 
> 
> Comments are much appreciated! Thank you for reading. 
> 
> *Hugs*


	11. Seeking New Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael reaches an understanding with Brian and Justin.
> 
> Mel and Lindsay arrive in Pittsburgh with great news.

Alleghany International Airport - Pittsburgh

 

"Brian, I really need to talk to you!" Michael pleads with his best friend.

 

Brian squeezes the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes briefly, sensing a headache looming. He sighs before deciding he has no choice but to answer. "Mikey, there's nothing more to talk about. I was very clear about how I felt back at Kinnetik and I don't want to rehash the subject again."

 

"Brian, maybe you'd better hear Michael out," Justin quietly urges beside him as he gently lays his hand on his partner's shoulder and tries to convince him to listen to his friend. 

 

Michael is moved by the unexpected gesture as he responds sincerely, "Thanks, Justin." He pauses for a moment, feeling ashamed. "I'm…sorry if I was nasty to you earlier." 

 

Justin gives him a stiff smile and a nod in response. He figures that he and Michael will never be close friends like Michael is with Brian. But after all is said and done, he cannot deny that Michael has been there for Brian when he was younger and he had, in essence, offered a safe haven that Brian could turn to when his own childhood had been tumultuous. And if it hadn't been for Michael, his partner might not have ever had Debbie's loving influence in his life when he most needed it. So for those reasons alone, he decides that he must tolerate and accept Michael in their lives.  
It's okay, Michael," he responds. "Besides, it's not much different than what I've experienced in the past."

 

Michael at least has the decency to hang his head in shame as he admits, "Okay, I guess I deserve that. But please listen to me, Brian!" he pleads as Brian shakes his head in exasperation, thinking that Justin was perhaps being way too generous. 

 

Justin senses his hesitation as he turns and plants a light kiss on Brian's lips as he whispers against his mouth, "Talk to him, Brian. I'll go wait for the girls and the kids with Ben." 

 

Brian curtly nods in agreement as he surrenders to his partner's entreaty. "Okay, Sunshine." I will do it for you. Justin smiles back at him with a nod as he turns and walks toward the area where Ben is already waiting for the travelers' imminent arrival.

 

Brian watches him go for a moment before he turns to face his friend. "Okay, Michael. You have my undivided attention for the moment. Now what is so important?" he asks with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

 

Michael averts his eyes slightly in embarrassment before he lifts them to peer into Brian's face. "I…I wanted to apologize for what I said before about your relationship with Justin." 

 

Brian rolls his eyes. "You know how I feel about apologies, Mikey. They're not worth anything. They're bull…"

 

"Yeah, yeah, I know the spiel," Michael interrupts, knowing he has to get out what he needs to say. "But not this time, Brian. Everything I said was because I'm your best friend and I just don't want to see you get hurt. I worry about you," he explains to him softly, tears forming in reaction to the cool aloofness he sees in his friend's eyes. 

 

"You're not my mother, Michael," Brian retorts, still clearly perturbed. "You don't have to worry about me; I can take care of myself." 

 

Michael shrugs as he tries to make light of it. "I'm half Italian and half drag queen; worry is my middle name."

 

Brian sighs as he notices Michael's tearful expression. He realizes this is Michael - the man he has known since they were teenagers - and when it comes to him and how protective he is, he will likely never change. "Michael, I love you. I always will," he assures him as his friend's face lights up a bit. "But as much as I care about you, I will not allow you to interfere in my and Justin's lives. I love you - but I'm in love with him. I want to set things right with him, and at the moment the last thing I need is for someone to meddle in our lives, no matter how well-intentioned. Do you understand?" He can't believe that he has to talk to Michael like he was speaking to his young son, instead, but it appears to be the only way to get through to him. 

 

Michael nods his head. "I understand," he assures him. "I just tend to exaggerate sometimes." 

 

Brian arches a brow in question. 

 

"All right, a lot of the time. But it's only because I love you and want what's best for you, that's all." 

 

Brian sighs in frustration, feeling like they are on a Ferris wheel with no way to get off. "Michael, are you even listening to me?" 

 

Michael swallows hard, sensing he is not going to like what Brian is about to say, but knowing that he has to hear it anyway. He nods. "Yes, Brian. I'm listening to you." 

 

Brian places his hands on Michael's face for emphasis as he tells him, "I do want you to stay in my life and remain my friend; that won't change. But I have missed Justin more than you will ever know and I am trying my damnedest to fix things with him, so if you really want to show how much of a friend you are to me, you will not try to interfere in our lives. Because if you do - no matter whether I will always love you as a friend or not - I will never talk to you again. Do I make myself clear?" He let go of Michael's now ashen face as his friend nodded sorrowfully.

 

"Yes, Brian; I get it," Michael's vows, the tears of regret now trickling down his cheeks. 

 

Shaking his head slightly at his friend, Brian embraces him briefly before bestowing a quick kiss on his lips.

 

"Okay. I believe you. Just don't spoil this for me, Michael," he softly warns. 

 

Michael nods back, too choked up to speak as Brian turns and heads down the airport lobby toward the airport waiting room. 

 

Ben and Justin exchange a look as they notice Brian walking toward them alone with a red-faced, teary-eyed Michael a few feet behind him; it is obvious by their body language that they had just had a not-so-pleasant discussion. 

 

The two of them stand up from the chairs they were sitting on as Brian and Michael approach, Michael slightly hanging back from Brian.  
"Have a good conversation?" Ben asks quietly to Brian as he glances over with some concern at his husband.

 

Brian nods as he reaches to clasp Justin's hand and give it a squeeze. "You could say that. I think your good wife and I have come to an understanding, and I think I might have you to thank for that." 

 

Ben frowns. "Me? Why?"

 

"Something tells me you helped Mikey to see the light," he says with a smirk. "Right, Mikey?" he asks his friend pointedly.

 

Michael walks over to Ben, who puts his arm around him in support. "Yeah…Just like Emmett. I've seen the light," he agrees glumly, still not too happy with this turn of events, but nevertheless resigned to it. 

 

Ben nods as he clears his throat, noticing people starting to walk past them as they disembark from the nearby terminal shuttle. They should be here any minute," Ben says with a smile, looking forward especially to seeing their daughter again. "Come on," he tells Michael as he begins to walk toward the common hallway to hopefully intersect JR, the girls, and Gus as soon as they get off the shuttle. 

 

"You go ahead," Michael tells him. "I'll be right there. I need to talk to Justin for just a minute." 

 

Ben hesitates for a moment before he finally nods and walks away. 

 

Brian remains silent as he observes the two together, wondering what Michael is up to now. 

 

"What is it, Michael?" Justin asks curiously as he eyes him warily from his place next to Brian. 

 

Michael takes a breath before he tells him, "I'd like for you to consider working on another issue of Rage with me again." 

 

Justin's eyes widen in surprise. "I don't understand. I thought that Kevin was doing a great job of illustrating. Aren't you satisfied with his work?" 

 

Michael shrugs. "Yeah, he's good at what he does. But he's not you. When I was working with you, we would share story ideas and it normally helped me to come up with follow-up stories when we brainstormed. It was a lot different than it is with Kevin; it was…fun," he concedes. "With Kevin, all he does is draw the ideas that I have to come up with on my own. He could continue to work on the illustrations, I guess, if you would agree to help me write the story lines. And you could help Kevin to envision what I'm trying to get across on paper. You always seem to understand better what I'm trying to shoot for than he does." He pauses for a moment before asking hopefully, "So what do you say? Will you do it?" 

 

Justin thoughtfully bites the tip of his thumb, torn as to what to do. It did have a certain appeal at the moment, and would help him to remain in Pittsburgh if that was what he decided to do. "Brian?" he prompts his partner softly. 

 

Brian shrugs before finally decides, "Well, I say why not accept and allow yourself the pleasure of continuing to work with Mikey on your favorite subject: me?" 

 

Justin laughs softly as Brian pushes his tongue into his cheek. "Ever the modest one," he murmurs as Brian grins. He rolls his eyes, looking over at Michael's almost desperate expression before finally nodding in agreement. "Okay, Michael. I'll go back to work on Rage with you, and we'll see how it goes. But under one condition. I want all of my part of the profit to go to my mom and Molly." He waggles his eyebrows playfully at Brian. "And with my now worldwide success, we should see a big increase in sales with my artwork on the cover - and YOU as my subject." 

 

Brian snorts at him as Michael smiles back in relief. "NOW who's being modest?" Brian retorts before he pulls Justin to him by the scuff of his neck and plants a deep kiss on his lips, both men sliding their arms around each other as the kiss quickly intensifies, evoking some shocked and disapproving stares from other people nearby. 

 

"Jeez, do you two ever stop?" Michael grouses good-naturedly as he thinks he hears a soft moan come from Brian's lips. "The girls? Gus? JR? Ring any bells?" 

 

The two men reluctantly break apart to Michael's relief as he tells them, "Ben and I are having a celebration dinner tonight with the girls, Gus and JR, and we'd both like for you to be there. Can you come for dinner?"

 

"Mikey, I can always…"

 

"Brian," Justin quietly warns, knowing exactly what he was going to say as Brian grins back at him. He turns to look at Michael. "I guess we could do that. Brian?" he asks his partner. 

 

"I don't know, Mikey. Justin and I - sitting together at dinner - sure it's safe?" 

 

Michael smiles, relieved to be kidding with his best friend again. "Well, Gus will be there, too, so I think it might be okay." 

 

"Are you using my son against me, Mikey?"

 

Michael grins. "Well, at least I know you'll behave if he's there, so yes, I suppose I am." 

 

Brian huffs. "Michael, I'm appalled. Absolutely appalled." 

 

At last Michael and Brian smile at each other - a genuine smile - and the tension is lifted.

 

As they stand by the shuttle waiting anxiously for the girls, JR, and Gus to arrive, Justin pulls on Brian's arm as he leans over and tells him, "Sorry I had to cut your entertainment short."

 

Brian smirks. "Not a problem," he tells him. "I can wait. Besides, there's always the men's room on the way out." He slides his arm around Justin's waist as they stand there, peering over intently at the train that was still unloading newly-arrived passengers.

 

Justin giggles. "Brian, you know we can't do that! Everyone will be with us." 

 

Brian pretends to pout like his favorite plaything was being taken away from him. "You and Mikey working together is a bad deal," he decides suddenly as Justin grins. "You' re both taking away all my fun." 

 

"Poor baby," Justin coos at him as he runs his hand through his lover's hair and gives him a smile. "I promise to make it up to you later."

 

"Promises, promises, promises," Brian sing-songs. "But don't you worry; I'll definitely be collecting later." 

 

A few feet away, Michael finally smiles, relieved that the uneasiness has been broken between him and Brian and that Ben has managed to talk some sense into him. As he looks over at the two men staring at each other as if they were the only two people there, he realizes how much they do love each other and how happy they are when they are together. He promises silently that he will keep his word and not interfere with them. Brian and Justin deserve to make their relationship work, just like he and Ben did. He vows to promise Ben - and Brian - that he will do that from now on. His thoughts are interrupted just then by the sound of an excited shriek coming from nearby as Gus rushes up to them at full-speed, running directly toward his delighted father. "Daddy!"

 

Brian's eyes light up with joy as he stoops down to scoop Gus up into his arms. "Hey, Sonny Boy! You get taller every time I see you!" 

 

Brian chuckles as his son twists his body toward Justin and stretches his arms out toward him. "Justin!" he cries out in delight as he notices who it is. 

 

Justin's face breaks out into a brilliant smile as Brian allows him to pull his son into his arms. "Hey, Buddy! How was your trip?" 

 

"Cool!" the little boy replies as he holds onto Justin by the back of the neck. He scrunches up his face as a thought occurs to him. "I didn't know you would be here. Are you visiting Daddy?"

 

Brian peers over at Justin with bated breath as he shakes his head and smiles. "No, I'm moving back here to stay," he tells him. "Do you like that idea?" 

 

Gus's lower lip juts out in thought as he ponders that notion. "I don't know," he finally decides at last. "I always like visiting you in New York."

 

Justin smiles as he gazes fondly into the doe-eyed child's face. "Well, we can always go there to visit again when I can get away. Of course, that would depend upon getting your moms' okay and your father's approval."

 

"Yeah!" Gus cried out in delight, his eyes lit up. "I like going to the museums and the zoo - and seeing all the pretty pictures at the gall..gall…"  
"Galleries," Justin supplies as Gus nods, jiggling up and down excitedly at the thought. 

 

Justin grins as he glances over at Brian before saying, "We'll just have to plan on going back, then. You and me - and your dad. We'll go back to New York and make sure that we take your father to the zoo at Central Park, especially. I'm sure your father would really like that. Right, Dad?" Justin prompts mischievously as he looks at Brian's grimace. 

 

"Oh, joy," Brian deadpans as Gus giggles over his father's silly expression. It isn't long before Brian has to smile back at his son; his laughter is just too contagious to resist.

 

Gus scrunches up his face as he glances first at his father and then at the man holding him in his arms. "Daddy?" 

 

Brian smiles; he will never grow tired of hearing that word no matter HOW old he - and Gus- get. "What, Sonny Boy?"

 

"Are you and Justin back together now?" 

 

Brian presses his lips together in hesitation, not quite sure how to answer that. "Well…"

 

Observing his lover's reluctance, Justin responds for him. "We're working on it, Gus," he tells the little boy firmly. "Is that what you want?" 

 

Gus response is unequivocal and full of joy.

 

"Yes!" he cries. "I…I love you, Justin," he responds a little more shyly.

 

Justin smiles at him warmly as he holds him tightly against his chest and hugs him, his eyes welling with tears. "I love you, too, Buddy," he whispers against his head as he locks gazes with Brian, noticing his lover's eyes glistening as well. 

 

Lindsay hurries to catch up to the group, smiling as she spies Brian and Justin holding Gus in his arms. 

 

"Justin!" she cries out in pleasure. "It's so good to see you again." She quickly places a kiss on Justin's cheek before giving Brian a short hug. "Peter, you're looking well," she tells him, noticing a certain light back in his eyes. She suspects the reason why is standing right next to him. "Justin, I'm glad you're back with Brian," she tells him sincerely. 

 

Brian shuffles slightly on his feet as he tries to explain. "Uh…Lindsay…" He doesn't quite know how to explain his and Justin's present status as Lindsay interrupts him with a knowing smile.

 

"You don't have to try and explain," she tells him fondly. "I somehow knew the two of you would wind up back together; at least I hoped. I hope you realize how lucky you are to have him back in your life, Brian." 

 

"Well, Justin must have the patience of a saint," Mel quips as she walks up to join them. "He's the only one that can put up with you." 

 

"Such a pleasure to see you too, Mel," Brian deadpans sarcastically as Mel glares at him. Her expression, however, changes instantly as she looks over at Justin. Just like Lindsay, she has always had a distinct soft spot for him. 

 

"Honey, it's good to see you again," she tells him sincerely with a smile as she reaches to kiss him on the cheek. 

 

"You, too, Mel." 

 

"Mel, where's JR?" Lindsay prompts when she notices her nowhere around.

 

"Ben and Michael have her over there," she tells her as they spy the trio several feet away. She rolls her eyes. "They keep trying to nickname her 'Honey Bun.'  
God, how I hate that name! You know she's going to wind up being the most spoiled little girl on this planet, don't you? Thankfully she has my genes for some common sense. Why is everyone split up?" she wonders as she notes two distinct, separate groups. "Trouble in paradise, Brian?"

 

Brian replies, "Nothing that hasn't been resolved. Mikey just being Mikey," he adds mysteriously, not willing to provide any more information as Ben and Michael walk up to them with their precious cargo. The little girl is clutching a newly-purchased tote bag stuffed with gifts from the two men. 

 

"Hi, Uncle Brian !" the brown-haired girl calls out. 

 

Brian can't help smiling in return at the rosy-cheeked child. "Hello, there, little lady," he greets her.

 

JR's reaction to Justin, however, is much more exuberant as she spies him standing next to Brian.

 

"Justin! Justin!"

 

Justin smiles at her warmly. "Hello, JR! How are you, Sweetheart?" he asks as he gently lowers Gus to the ground as the little girl walks over to grab him by the legs and give him a tight hug of joy. 

 

"I'm good!" she tells him as she pulls back to stare up at his kind face. "These are my two dads," she tells him proudly as if he didn’t know. 

 

Justin chuckles as he looks over at Ben and Michael. "I know," he tells her as she beams back at him. "Well, I'm glad you could come to Pittsburgh for a visit to see them." 

 

JR nods as she reaches into her pink, Minnie Mouse, canvas tote bag to retrieve a glittery, rhinestone-studded tiara to put it on her head; a fake, diamond necklace follows immediately afterward as she pulls it over her neck, looking proud as a peacock.

 

"Aren't you beautiful?" Justin coos at her as she smiles back at him; the entire interaction silently noted by Brian. Justin seems to have a wondrous effect on both children, he realizes, although he isn't really surprised somehow.

 

"Justin, Brian, did Michael mention dinner to you?" Ben asks the two men as they nod in confirmation. 

 

"Then how about, say, 7:00 tonight?" 

 

Brian speaks up for the both of them. "Yeah…but go easy on the carbs," he warns him as Ben laughs at the predictable response. 

 

"We'll keep that in mind," Ben tells him. "We'll leave the carb ingestion up to everyone else." 

 

"You WILL be serving 'normal food,' right?" Brian questions. "None of that tofu crap." 

 

Ben shakes his head in amusement. "Don't worry; I'll see that it's food you can actually recognize and that won't offend your sophisticated taste buds."  
The others titter in understanding over Brian's request as Justin speaks up to answer what he feels is probably a question on the mind of the others present. "As you all know, Brian and I are under police protection, so there should be at least one police car following us at all times." 

 

"What about here?" Mel mentions as she looks around, not noting anything unusual around them.

 

Justin reassures her, "Don't worry; they're good at blending in with the crowd, even in places like this. There's one here, I'm sure. Carl assured me they would be sticking to Brian and me like glue until this is all over." 

 

"That's good to know," Ben tells him. "Safety has to be the most important concern right now." 

 

Lindsay sighs sorrowfully as she reaches over to squeezes Justin's hand. 

 

"Oh, Justin ... Sweetie, we were so worried when Michael told us what was happening."

 

"It's okay, Lindsay. Carl's overseeing the investigation, and he's assured me that nothing will happen." At the moment, though, Justin probably sounds more sure than he feels. He can't help feeling a bit uneasy still about the whole situation, kind of like waiting for the other shoe to drop. But he does not want to worry the others - or Brian - so he forces himself to put on a confident face. 

 

Mel, however, does not miss the worried expression on Brian's face as Justin is talking. Despite her better judgment, she can't help respecting and even admiring the way the Brian is hovering over Justin protectively and casting subtle glances around the immediate area, obviously looking for anything amiss. Deciding silently that perhaps she could do something to help break up the couple's tension lately, she asks Lindsay, "Hon, what do you think of leaving Gus with Brian and Justin this afternoon while we take JR over to Michael & Ben's and get settled in?"

 

As soon as Mel's words are out of her mouth, Gus begins to excitedly jump and down at the mere prospect. 

 

"Can I, Mommy? Please, please….?" 

 

Lindsay bites her lower lip, torn between wanting to say yes and still a little worried about Gus being in the middle of such a potentially unsafe situation. "I don't know…" She glances down at the big, expressive, pleading eyes of her son and decides that Brian would never place him in any danger. "Well, I suppose if you behave and do as they say and don't cause any disruptions…"

 

"My son is never a 'disruption,' Wendy," Brian gently reprimands her as he smiles down tenderly at his child. Deciding it was settled, then, Brian hugs his son by his head to his side as he asks him, "So, Sonny Boy! Are you ready to spend the afternoon at the office with your old man?" 

 

"Is Justin going to be there?"

 

Brian looks over at his lover before Justin suggests, "I can help with the Brown Athletic Campaign, if you want. I know you were having some problems with the artwork for that one. If he wants, Gus can stay with me in the Art Department and draw while I’m there." 

 

Gus's eyes light up. "Yay!" he squeals in delight over the thought. "I love staying in the Art Department!" 

 

Brian sighs melodramatically. "My son the artist. That's just what I need: yet another artist in my life."

 

Everyone began to laugh at the comment as Justin leans over to kiss his cheek. 

 

"Oh, quit complaining; you love artists." 

 

"You're pushing your luck here, Sunshine!"

 

Justin shrugs with a grin. "I'm a risk taker; I like to live dangerously," he whispers in Bran's ear in a sexy tone of voice. "Nobody knows that better than you."  
Brian feels his cock harden immediately. "Twat," he growls back as the two men turn instinctively to kiss and the two children giggle over their display of affection; the other adults silently hoping that the two men are finally finding their way again and that nothing will hinder their deepening love for each other. 

 

Later that day - 7:00 p.m. - Ben & Michael's House 

 

Hunter grins as he opens the door to find Brian, Justin, and Gus standing there like a regular family unit. 

 

He smirks at Justin as he teases him, "Well, look who it is! Just remember, Blondie; the couch here is mine. Don't get any ideas."  
"Ha, ha; very funny, Hunter," he tells the younger man as Hunter opens the door wider to let them in. "Rest assured, I have no intention of fighting with you over the couch; it's all yours." 

 

Hunter peers over at Brian, currently attired casually in a black leather jacket, button-down shirt, and custom-fit blue jeans. The man was still in tip-top form as always. "I'll make a deal with you, though," he tells Justin. "If Brian ever gets tired of you and kicks your ass out of the loft, I'll let you have the couch here in exchange for your place over there." 

 

Justin snorts as Brian looks at Hunter in confusion. "I thought you decided you were straight a long time ago." 

 

"I am," Hunter confirms as the men walk into the living room. "But I'm always willing to make an exception for someone special." 

 

"Gee, I appreciate your hospitality, Hunter, but I'm not interested." He looks around. "So where're your mommy and daddy?" He thinks he can hear the clatter of pots and pans as Hunter confirms they are in the nearby kitchen. 

 

Justin smiles as he thinks he recognizes the distinctive aroma of Debbie's lasagna recipe, meaning Brian was probably going to vocally object to their main course.  
"Hey there, Little Man!" Hunter says as he smiles down at Brian's little boy. "I've got a new video game; want to come and see it?"

 

"Yeah!" Gus cries out excitedly as he begins to rush over to Hunter to head upstairs. 

 

"Nothing rated T or over!" Brian calls out to him as Hunter yells back with an "It's Mario for God's sake! Sheesh!" as the two hurry up the steps to check it out.

 

Brian reaches for Justin's hand as they walk companionably into the kitchen, spying Ben and Michael near the stove. "Hey, guys!" Michael greets them with a smile as he turns around. "Dinner's almost ready; the girls will be down in just a minute." 

 

Ben nods back at the two in greeting as he opens the stove with two oven mitts to take out the glass pan of lasagna. Ben asks Brian, "I noticed Hunter whispering something to you; he wasn't bothering you, was he?" 

 

Brian smirks, used to being the object of admiration. "Nothing I couldn't handle, Professor. Just like everyone else, gay or straight, the boy just can't resist me."  
Michael rolls his eyes and grins as he tells his best friend, "Don't count on it with Hunter. I don't think it's because you're irresistible necessarily," he explains as Brian frowns. "To him it's all a game; plus, I think he just likes to annoy Justin." 

 

"Then he's wasting his time," Justin tells him firmly. "I'm beyond that." He recalls how Hunter was adept at antagonizing him years ago, but that was all in the past now. He has much more important matters to worry about.

 

"And I’m not interested anyway," Brian reassures everyone, even though it was probably not necessary.

 

Just then, Mel and Lindsay walk down with a bouncy JR beside them. "Hello, Boys," Lindsay greets them with a smile. She looks over at Brian. "Has Gus taken over your job yet, Dad?" she teases him as she leans down to hug Gus, who had heard them speaking upstairs and decides to join them. 

 

"Not yet," Brian informs her. "He spent the whole time in the Art Department with Justin, discussing the complexity of colors and design techniques."

 

Justin smiles at Brian's explanation. "Gus, show your moms," he urges the little boy. Gus smiles shyly as runs back into the living room and returns a few seconds later with two 8" X 11" pieces of paper. He proudly holds them up so Mel and Lindsay could see.

 

"Look, Mommy, look, Mama! I made you something. Justin helped me."

 

Delighted, the two women take the two drawings and study them. One shows a color pencil drawing of a beautiful flower garden in vibrant hues, while the other one apparently depicts Gus and his sister hugging and smiling at each other in front of their home in Canada.

 

"Oh, Sweetheart ! These are really wonderful!" Beaming with pride, Lindsay's eyes water as she shows them to Mel, who smiles over at Gus affectionately. 

 

"These are beautiful, Honey," she tells Gus. "We'll have to find a special place for them when we get back home, okay?" Gus nods, pleased, as Lindsay admires the technique, quite advanced for someone his age. 

 

"He actually draws quite well for someone his age," she observes with a smile. "I think with some training, he could actually become a very talented artist someday." 

 

"Well, I'm glad he's managed to inherit your creative genes and that Justin's around to help encourage his artistic talent. That way, he won't become either a gas station attendant or, heaven forbid, the future Stud of Liberty Avenue like someone else we know." 

 

"Mel!" Lindsay gently scolds her wife.

 

Justin shakes his head in amusement as he exchanges a glance with Brian. "You'll still perturbed over Gus not being named Abraham, that's all," he teases Mel with a smile. 

 

Mel laughs. "Yeah, you caught me! No," she assures him. "I think Gus's name is very sweet. I've gotten used to it, and I can think of no greater honor than to name him named after your teddy bear. God forbid - I think I'm even getting used to the "Honey Bun" name for JR now," she says with a laugh as she looks over at Ben and Michael. "And Debbie doesn't help. I think she has more names for JR than royalty by now." 

 

Justin feels a tug on his leg as he glances down to observe the petite, five-year-old brunette staring intently up at him. He can't help smiling back at her.

 

"Hi, Justin!"

 

"Hi, there yourself, Beautiful," he replies as she beams over the compliment.

 

"What do you say?" Lindsay prods from a few feet away. 

 

"Thank you. You're beautiful, too," she tells him shyly as she averts her eyes.

 

Gus snorts, a sound so reminiscent of his father, as he tells her in the blunt way that children often react, "Forget it, JR! Justin is Daddy's boyfriend! He's never going to date you. He's gay and you're a girl!" He says the last word as if it is distasteful with just a bit of jealousy mixed in over her getting Justin's attention at the moment instead of him. 

 

JR's lower lip juts out in a pout and her eyes fill with tears. "You don't love me, Justin?" she laments.

 

Justin stoops down to pull the distraught little girl into a tender embrace as the other adults watch. "Of course I do, Honey. I'll always love you." JR's face transforms into a smile as she looks over and unbeknownst to Justin sticks her tongue out at her brother in triumph while Brian chuckles over the sibling rivalry.  
Michael rolls his eyes over the display. "First my best friend, then my mother and now my daughter. Sheesh. Will you please promise to stay away from my husband and leave him for me at least?" He strives to sound lighthearted, but there is still a hint of envy and jealousy in his voice as Justin glances over at him, confused.

 

"Huh?" he responds. 

 

Ben, Brian, and Mel titter at Justin's perplexed reply as Lindsay claps her hands to get the kids' attention. 

 

"I imagine the kids are starting to get hungry," she interjects to break up the moment. "Why don't we all sit down and eat before dinner gets cold?" she suggests.  
Mel nods. "Gus, JR, go wash your hands," she gently but firmly instructs them as the kids scurry out to do as she commands. 

 

"Hunter, you, too!" Michael tells his son as Ben nods in agreement. 

 

Hunter harrumphs over their request. "You do realize I'm not a kid anymore," he points out in exasperation. "I'm twenty years old!" 

 

"Well, then prove you're that age and not sixteen by doing as we say," Ben tells him as Hunter sighs heavily and throws up his hands.

 

"Okay, okay! I'll take the little munchers to the bathroom and help them wash their hands, too. Satisfied?" 

 

"Very!" both his parents respond in in unison.

 

A few minutes later, everyone is finally seated around the table as Mel and Lindsay exchange some sort of silent signal and Lindsay nods. Mel takes her fork and gently clangs it against her water glass to get everyone's attention. "Linds and I want to thank Ben and Michael for their hospitality," she begins as the two men nod and smile at her. "And we're happy that Brian and Justin are here tonight, too, because we have an important announcement to make." She looks over at her wife. "Lindsay?" 

 

Lindsay nods as everyone's eyes turn to her. "A month ago, Sidney Bloom contacted me. He is intending to retire and offered me the job of director over his art gallery here. Mel got in touch with her former law firm, too, and they assured her that they would be delighted to welcome her back into their fold."  
Mel smiles. "…And they even offered me a higher salary than what I have been making in Canada." 

 

There are happy, surprised gasps all around; that is, all except for Brian, who chooses to remain impassive until he has the whole story. "So that means…what?" he presses, wanting them to spell it out so there is no misunderstanding. 

 

Mel responds, "Well, that means we'll need to get in touch with Justin's mother to help us find a new home here in Pittsburgh. We'd like to be relocated back here within a month, if possible." 

 

Gus, who had no idea what his moms were going to say, instantly scoots off his chair at the table and runs helter skelter over to his father to jump promptly into his lap, facing him with a radiant, excited smile on his face. Justin grins as the little boy tells his father, "Daddy! Now I can come back here and spend more time with you and Justin! Can't I?" 

 

Brian at last smiles back at him warmly over his enthusiasm; he was thinking the very same thing. "That's right , Sonny Boy !"  
Michael and Ben share a smile as Michael exclaims, "And us, too! We'll have more time now with JR. That's great! How about it, Honey Bun? Would you like that, too?" 

 

JR nods with a smile from beside her father as Michael pulls her into his lap and rains kisses all over her face in jubilation. 

 

After the excitement had died down, Ben rose to retrieve the main courses: lasagna made from Debbie's homemade recipe, along with a small, roasted turkey quarter and a vegetable roll cooked expressly for Brian. 

 

Brian sighs in relief as Ben places the items in front of his plate. "As promised, Brian, we won't force you to eat tofu tonight - or make you force down something high in carbs."

 

Brian eyes the turkey warily, poking at it with his fork to make sure it is, indeed, made from actual meat and not tofu as everyone laughs at his hesitation. He glances up to see everyone staring at him from around the table before softly confessing, "Actually, tonight, I would have even eaten lasagna…As long as I knew it would bring my son back home." 

 

There are quite a few teary eyes over that statement as Lindsay asks Justin, "Justin, tomorrow morning I have to go to the GLC with Mel to do some decorating for one of their fundraisers. Would you maybe be able to help us?" 

 

Justin smiles at the thought, hating being cooped up so much lately. "I'd love to!" he tells her. "I'm done helping with the Brown Athletics campaign. And I think I can get Daphne to help, too. I don’t think she has to work a shift tomorrow." 

 

"That would be great, Honey!" Lindsay tells him gratefully. "Oh, and do you know if your mom will be there tomorrow? Michael told me Debbie is planning on it, and normally your mom helps out at those events, too." 

 

Justin bites his lip in thought. "I think she might have said something about it, now that you mentioned it."

 

"Great!" Mel replies with a smile. "Then we'll ask her about starting to look for a house for us, then." 

 

"If you run into any problems while you're gone tomorrow, Justin, make sure you call me at Kinnetik." 

 

Justin frowns. "You still haven't found your cellphone yet?" Brian had mentioned to him the other day that he had apparently misplaced it somehow.

 

Brian shakes his head. "No, but I have Cynthia searching for it." He lets out an irritated breath. "I've never misplaced it before. I was certain it was on my desk the other day - that's normally where I put it when I'm at work - and normally no one bothers it. But somehow it disappeared. Damn odd." 

 

"Maybe you just picked it up from your desk without really thinking about it and left it in one of the other departments," Ben suggests. 

 

Brian frowns. "Not too likely," he tells him. "I don't normally carry it from room to room. But it's possible, I guess. That's the only reasonable explanation."  
"Well, a person of your advanced age has to have memory lapses from time to time," Justin helpfully interjects solemnly, his eyes twinkling.

 

Brian arches an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, Sunshine? Well, I will prove to you later that my 'advanced age' is NOT a problem…Twat." 

 

Justin giggles, knowing that was the response he would get. "Well, I'll remind you later in case you forget you just said that…"

 

Brian growls before he curves his hand around Justin's neck and promptly pulls him toward him to plaster a deep kiss on his lips to effectively silence him.  
Everyone rolls their eyes at the predictable response as Hunter snickers. "Careful, guys! Impressionable children in the room…" 

 

Finally, the two men break apart, breathless, but Justin isn't quite done yet with provoking his partner.

 

"Well, you remembered how to do that fairly well…" he admits with a grin as Brian glares at him.

 

"Little shit," he mutters under his breath as Justin smiles back at him. His face changes into something more serious, though, as he reminds him, "Make sure you call me if you need anything tomorrow, okay?" 

 

"I promise," he tells him, just before he adds, "And I do remember your number, by the way." He waggles his eyebrows as Brian answers his question with another, deeper kiss this time as they laugh against each other's lips.

 

"Oh, brother," Mel intones as Lindsay puts her hands over Gus's eyes and Mel does the same with JR. Michael reaches over in jest toward Hunter until his son bats his hands away and Ben chuckles. 

 

The remainder of their dinner proceeds quite amicably and passes by quickly; everyone seems happy to be together again. As Ben looks around the table, he can't help thinking how Fate determines the difficult roads that everyone must take in order to find happiness. He knows that having Mel, Lindsay, and Gus back home in Pittsburgh will make everyone much happier. And with Justin's decision to remain here, their happiness will be twofold. The circle is now complete again.  
Peering over at Brian and Justin gazing at each other with such love in their eyes, he hopes that all the obstacles that have confronted them in the past will soon disappear so they can at last obtain the enduring happiness that both men crave. Ben raises his glass of juice then in a silent toast to the life, health, and happiness of all the people that he loves.


	12. Shadow  of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin is forced to confront his biggest fear as Chris Hobbs moves closer to his goal.

Carefully grasping one end of the large painting, Daphne lets Justin take the lead as they enter the GLC's lobby; this particular panel would be displayed near the entrance once it was finished. Carefully propping it against the near wall, both friends let out a sigh of relief as they stand up straight, now temporarily free of their heavy burden.

 

 

Daphne grins as they plop down onto the floor with their backs leaning up against the wall. "You know what this reminds me of?"

 

 

Slightly out of breath, Justin shakes his head. "No. What, Daph?"

 

 

She smiles. "That time I came here to help you with your first exhibition."

 

 

Justin grinned. "Ah…I remember it well. You were flirting with that one lesbian with the scarf around her head; enough that she asked you to go grab a bite to eat with her. You were a regular freak back then!"

 

 

"Hey…I was NOT flirting. I was expanding my horizons.” 

 

 

Justin laughed. "Yeah…Right…"

 

 

"I wonder who bought that one drawing you did of Brian?" 

 

 

Justin shrugs. "I don't know; I never found out. Probably some frustrated fag that never had a chance with the real thing."

 

 

Daphne snorts. "It's difficult to imagine anyone in Pittsburgh who has not had a chance with Brian. Maybe even in the entire country!"

 

 

"Hey! Even Brian has his standards!"

 

 

She grins over at her friend. "Yeah, I know. Look at his boyfriend." She can't help but smile as Justin rolls his eyes. "Your…your boyfriend - or current whatever-you're-calling-him-now - is the hottest guy in town and firmly believes that the Pitts is his own, personal, gay playground, and you tell me he has standards."

 

 

"Well, he doesn't fuck his friends," Justin points out.

 

 

Daphne laughs. "That's limited to three people, you dork!"

 

 

Justin shrugs with a grin. "Well, at least he has limits, then!" he points out reasonably.

 

 

The two begin to laugh. "I remember how excited you were back than when you learned that I was gay." 

 

 

"Of course! I was seventeen, Justin! And you were very detailed about your sex life. I loved hearing everything you told me. Besides, once I found out that you were gay I knew I would be the only woman that you would ever love." 

 

 

"Even if I were straight, you would always be the one for me, Daph," Justin kids her as he smiles.

 

 

"If you were straight, today we'd both be married and living in a house with a white picket fence, two kids and a dog."

 

 

Justin turns his head to peer over at her curiously as he wrinkles his nose. "You think so?"

 

 

The two look at each other for a few seconds before they both burst out laughing over the ridiculousness of it.

 

 

"Uh, no, I don't think so!" Daphne laughs uncontrollably.

 

 

"Definitely not!" Justin agrees, unable to contain himself. As they continue to laugh and giggle, they are completely oblivious to the odd stares they are receiving from others nearby. Justin decides that it feels good to finally laugh after all this time, and he owes a great deal of his present lighter mood to his best friend.

 

 

"Hey, I'm thirsty and going to go get a bottle of water," Daphne states as she rises to her feet. "You want one?" 

 

 

Justin nods. "Yeah, sounds good. Thanks." 

 

 

She nods and walks away as Justin stands to walk over to his painting which is only partially finished. Reaching over to retrieve a paintbrush, he is interrupted by his cellphone ringing. Pulling it out of his pocket, he smiles as he recognizes the familiar number on the caller I.D. before he brings it up to his ear. "Hey! You found your cellphone!" 

 

 

"I wouldn't worry about the damn cellphone, Taylor; I'd be more worried about the owner," a deep voice replies as Justin's blood runs cold and his body trembles in horror. Even though it has been years, the voice is instantly recognizable. 

 

 

"C…Chris Hobbs?"

 

 

The voice on the other end sounds pleased and almost amicable as Chris drawls, "Hello, Justin! Glad you didn't forget me." 

 

 

Justin's face pales as his heart races with rage. "Hobbs, you bastard! What are you doing with Brian's phone?"

 

 

Hobbs huffs. "Like I told you, Taylor; I'd be more worried about your precious Brian than his cellphone."

 

 

Justin swallows hard, fear depositing in his stomach. "What do you mean by that?" 

 

 

Hobbs ignores the question as he responds instead, "You know, Kinney and I were just having a very intriguing discussion about something we have in common: you." 

 

 

Justin's hand grips the phone so hard his knuckles turn white. "Hobbs, I want to talk to Brian immediately. Put him on the fucking phone!" 

 

 

Hobbs clucks. "You're in no position to demand anything from me, Taylor. And I'm sorry, but your precious Brian isn't able to come to the phone at the moment anyway." 

 

 

Justin tries to keep his voice calm as he demands, "What have you done to him, you asshole?"

 

 

"Hey…You'd better show me a little more respect if you ever want to see your boyfriend in one piece again." 

 

 

Justin looks around frantically, noticing that no one apparently realizes the drama that is currently being played out; Daphne is nowhere in sight, either. 

 

 

Justin takes a deep breath, knowing he isn't dealing with a sane person on the other end and afraid of what he might be planning to do. "Chris…" Justin begins quietly. "Please don't hurt him. Tell me what you want and I'll do it, but leave him out of this."

 

 

"Well, well, well; it seems you can be reasonable. Brian really misses you, Taylor. So why don't you come and join our little party?" 

 

 

Justin knows it goes against everything he's been cautioned about, but this is Brian, the man he loves more than his own life. There is no question, then, about what he has to do. "Tell me where you are, and I'll leave right away." 

 

 

"Just a minute, Taylor. I'm not stupid! I know you're under police protection. So if you ever want to see Kinney alive again, you'll find a way to ditch the police and come alone. I have a way to know whether or not you're following my instructions, so don't try anything. If I find out a cop is trailing you, Kinney will be dead before he hits the ground, you got it?" 

 

 

Justin's heart races with fear. "Yeah, I understand. I'll do whatever you want. Where are you?" 

 

 

"Meet me at the former American Laundry warehouse over on Teller Street on the west side. Do you know where it is?"

 

 

"Yes," Justin tells him, remembering the large clothing manufacturer that had gone out of business a few years ago. The abandoned building is a regular eyesore, and the mayor has been unsuccessfully trying to have it torn it down ever since. "I know where it is."

 

 

"Good. And come alone! Or you - and Brian - will suffer the consequences. Do you understand me? But better hurry; my patience is wearing thin." 

 

 

Justin adrenalin shoots up. "Okay, yeah, I'm leaving right now!"

 

 

"Remember, Taylor; I have ways to find out if you're double-crossing me. I will know if you've told anyone about our conversation or if you've got the cops on your tail. You'd better hurry!" 

 

 

"I will. Chris…Please…Don't hurt him. This is between you and me. I won't tell anyone where I'm going." 

 

 

Chris smiles in glee. His plan is working perfectly. "I'd get a move on if I were you, Taylor. I get very impatient quickly, and I've been waiting a long time." 

 

 

Justin hears a click then on the other end as the line disconnects. His entire body is trembling as he flips the phone shut. His worst fear seems to have been realized; had Hobbs found a way to get to him through the one person who means the most to him: Brian? 

 

 

Brian had mentioned that his cellphone had disappeared, however; did that mean that Hobbs is somehow behind that and he is merely trying to lure him into some kind of trap? After all, he hasn't actually talked to Brian. Could it be that he was bluffing? A slight flicker of hope wars with his extreme anxiety as he glances around and, making sure no one seems to be observing him, he walks over to a more secluded alcove of the building and, with slightly shaking hands, punches in the number to Kinnetik. Please, please, Brian; please be there, he keeps pleading as it rings once, then twice, before it is finally answered.

 

 

He immediately recognizes the cheery, seemingly unaffected voice of Brian's long-time assistant and begins to breathe a sigh of relief that perhaps he had been right.

 

 

"Good Morning, Kinnetik!" Cynthia responds. 

 

 

"Cynthia, it's Justin. I need to speak with Brian immediately," he breathlessly requests. 

 

 

On the other end, Cynthia frowns slightly. It isn't like Justin not to spend just a few seconds with her on small talk first, and she knows him well enough by now to sense that something is not quite right.

 

 

"Justin, is something wrong?" she asks quietly, trying to keep her voice level. 

 

 

Justin's frustration grows as he answers her tersely, "Cynthia, I'm sorry, but I don't have time to talk right now. I need to talk to Brian right now." 

 

 

His heart falls as he hears her tell him, "I'm sorry, Justin, but he's not here. He came out about three hours ago to tell me he was meeting a client to discuss an ad campaign and he would be back later. He didn't know when exactly he would be returning." Cynthia isn't quite sure how things stand between her boss and Justin, but she does know that lately Brian has been acting rather nervous and agitated about something. The urgency and sense of anguish in Justin's voice now only increases her concern that there is something seriously wrong.

 

 

"Cynthia , you have no way to contact him?" Justin insists, grasping at whatever hope he can. 

 

 

Cynthia bites her lip. "No, I don't. Ted tried to reach him a little while ago, but he wasn't successful. Brian did mention earlier that he would be meeting you later for lunch, though, so I'm sure you'll see him then."

 

 

Justin's heart is getting heavier and heavier as the dread seeps in.

 

 

"Cynthia, this is important. Did you find Brian's cellphone?" 

 

 

"No," she tells him. "But he must have found it himself somehow," she adds, "because Ted did get a text message from him earlier."

 

 

Justin takes a deep breath. "What did the message say?" 

 

 

He can almost see a smile on her face as Cynthia tells him, "Oh, something typical of Brian along the lines of 'stop bothering me, Theodore, if you want to remain in one piece and keep your job.' So I don't know where he found it, but apparently he figured out what happened to it." 

 

 

Justin swallows hard as he tries to sound normal; under the circumstances, however, it is extremely difficult. He can't let anyone suspect what he is planning to do, though. "Yeah, it does. I'm…glad he found it," he told her. "I'll try to reach him later, then. Thanks, Cynthia." 

 

 

"Justin…I can tell that something's wrong. What's going on? Can I help?" 

 

 

Justin curses inwardly, realizing his goal to appear nonchalant is obviously not working completely. "No, Cynthia, I have to go now. Bye." 

 

 

He doesn't even give her a chance to speak as he hurriedly hangs up the phone, his level of panic now rising. Now he knows for sure that Brian is not at Kinnetik. Worst of all, no one knows how to reach him or has heard from him for at least a few hours. Hobbs could have easily followed Brian from Kinnetik, overtook him by surprise - with a gun, even - and forced him to go with him to the warehouse. 

 

 

Hobbs is quite capable of inflicting injury or worse on Brian; of that there was no doubt. Brian could be injured and/or unconscious and unable to move. A cold shiver runs down his spine at the thought of what Hobbs might be doing to him right now. If he has done something to Brian so he wasn't able to even speak to him earlier…Justin's breathing increases as a cold sweat breaks out on his forehead. He forces the sense of panic down as he remembers what Brian used to say to him whenever he was having a panic attack after Hobbs had bashed him. ' Take deep breaths, Sunshine…breathe in and breathe out, that's it, you can do it. I'm right here; no one's ever going to hurt you again… ' Brian always did know what to say and do to calm him when he woke up thrashing and sweaty in the middle of the night back then. Just being held in his arms and hearing his soothing voice had made him feel so loved and protected. 

 

 

Brian needs me, he keeps thinking as he battles to calm down despite the great fear coursing through his body. I have to stay in control here. You were there for me before, Brian; I'm going to be here for you now. God, please don't let anything happen to him, he pleads silently. Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he presses his lips firmly together to put the appropriate mask back into place before he returns to the main area of the GLC building and thinks furiously about a way to elude his police escort. He has to get out of there NOW. But how? He can't use his own vehicle even if he a way to get to it; the police were certain to follow him. And he couldn't dare ask Daphne to use her car; she would ask way too many questions and would never let him go anywhere alone. Then another possibility enters his mind.

 

 

Michael! Michael was here! He could use his car! The police would not have any reason to be concerned about his whereabouts and Michael would never suspect a thing. Finalizing feeling like he has a method in place to elude his ever-present police protection, he turns to hurry back toward the main room in search of the other man, only to let out a scream and jump, his heart pounding, as someone grasps his shoulder from behind. 

 

 

"Hey, Baby, it's only me! What's going on? Are you all right?" Emmett asks his friend in concern as he grips his shoulder, noticing how pale he looks as Justin turns around to face him.

 

 

Justin swallows, knowing he has to stay calm and not give himself away. He nods. "Yeah, I'm fine, Em," he lies. "I'm still just a bit tense over what happened before, you know? And I don't want anything to go wrong with the benefit; it's much too important for the victims' families." 

 

 

 

Em nods sympathetically. "I understand, Sweetie! We were all there with you, and lived through all that horror, too." Em eyes him intently with a small smile. "But that's in the past. We have to find a way to leave our sorrow behind and celebrate life instead. We need to burn our flames bright and outshine all the hatred from before." 

 

 

 

How Justin wishes he could tell his friend that it isn't over! But he knows if he does, Brian's life could very well be at stake. So, instead he nods in agreement as he tells him, "Yeah, you're right, Em. We all need to move on. What matters is life, not that tragedy," he replies, still saddened by all the horror and death that Hobbs created - and is still creating, even to this day. 

 

 

 

Emmett smiles. "Now let me see that million-dollar smile, Baby!" He looks over at Justin's still- unfinished work and tells him, "And I must say that your painting is going to be fabulous as always!" 

 

 

Justin forces a smile on his face, but it's a mere shadow of what it normally is as he tells his friend softly, "Thanks, Em." He pauses for a second before he asks, "By the way, do you know where Michael is?" 

 

 

 

Emmett nods. "I sure do! Our future, best-selling author is in the other room setting up some bookshelves for the event. Kevin is in there helping him." 

 

 

Justin nods, anxious to get out of here so he can go help Brian, but not wanting to appear too rushed to avoid suspicion. "Thanks, Em." 

 

 

"Anytime, Baby." 

 

 

Justin bites his lip. "…and Em…"

 

 

"Yeah?" 

 

 

"You're a good friend. I just want you to know that I love you for that." 

 

 

Emmett frowns, a little concerned for some reason over Justin's surprising revelation. "Well, I love you, too, Justin." He furrows his brow. "You sure you're okay? There's nothing I can do for you?" 

 

 

"No, I'm fine, Em. Really." Justin smiles back at him, but the light in his eyes isn't there. Before Em can press him any further, though, he turns and hurries off. He knows something is off with his friend and prepares to follow him, only to hear a harried voice calling him from the kitchen. Torn between wanting to find out what was going on - and needing to fulfill his duties for the benefit - he finally turns and rushes toward the kitchen to take care of the culinary emergency. 

 

 

 

Michael smiles as he sees Justin approaching; Kevin is standing next to him as he greets him. "Hey, Justin! I told Kevin the good news already." 

 

 

 

Kevin nods with a smile. "Hi, Justin! I think it's great! I'm going to enjoy working with the original collaborator of Rage." 

 

 

 

Michael notices that Justin seems a little absentminded as his friend nods back at them. "Thanks, Kevin; me, too."

 

 

 

Justin turns to Michael then to say, "Listen, I have a favor to ask. Could I borrow your car for a little while? I just ran out of some paint I really need and I can't finish my piece unless I go get some more." 

 

 

 

"Sure," Michael agrees. "But didn't you come in your own car?" 

 

 

Justin shakes his head. "No, not this morning. Brian…" the name on his lips makes his heart ache over the thought of what might be happening to him at just that moment, "…Brian brought me here and then drove onto Kinnetik." The lie falls off his tongue easily, his desire to see Brian safe taking priority. 

 

 

Michael eyes him a little skeptically, but still reaches in his pants pocket to retrieve his key rings. "Okay, here are the keys. It's all yours for the next couple of hours if necessary." Justin sighs with relief; a sign that does not go unnoticed by him. "Justin, are you sure everything's okay?" he asks quietly, noticing an odd look on his face. 

 

 

Inside, Justin is panicking. If Michael suspects something is remiss, he might call Debbie or Carl, and he knew Carl would not allow him to go anywhere, especially by himself. He couldn't let that happen, not when Brian's life was at stake. What was he going to do if Michael presses him further? 

 

 

 

Just then, however, Justin sees a way out as he observes Mel walking into the large lobby area with JR by her side. "Yeah, I'm fine," he tells him with a small smile of reassurance plastered on his face. "Look, there's Mel with JR," he points out, trying to deflect attention away from him.

 

 

Sure enough, Michael immediately forgets him to turn around and focus on his daughter, his smile lighting up as she comes rushing up to him and he scoops her up into his arms. 

 

 

"Daddy!" the little girl squeals as Michael beams over the title.

 

 

"Hello, Honeybun!" he greets her with pleasure. "I'm so glad to see you again!" 

 

 

JR turns to look at Justin and smiles; an expression that makes Justin's eyes tear up over its innocence. It is a stark contrast to the great worry in his heart at the moment. "Justin!"

 

 

He smiles at her. "Hello, Sweetheart," he softly replies as he reaches over to briefly finger a little of the soft, dark, ringlets of hair. 

 

 

"Hello, Mel," he greets his friend as she walks up to join them. 

 

 

"Hi, Justin," she responds, noting a distracted sort of look on his face. She was about to ask how he was doing when suddenly he tells her, "I have to go run an errand. I'll catch up with you all later." 

 

 

She frowns slightly but reaches over to bestow a quick kiss on his cheek. "Okay, Honey. We'll see you later, then." He nods before quickly rushing off toward the back entrance. 

 

 

"How's he doing?" she asks Michael as she watches him disappear out of sight.

 

 

"Who?"

 

 

Mel huffs in exasperation. "What do you mean, who? Justin, that's who!" 

 

 

"Oh, he's fine," was the rather vague, unconcerned response. He smiles down at his daughter. "Well, Honeybun, did you come to see your dad, the great writer?" 

 

 

Mel looks questioningly at Kevin who shrugs. She then decides to seek out Lindsay to see if she can find out anything further, asking Michael to keep an eye on their daughter; a duty he was only too willing to oblige.

 

 

 

Carrying two bottles of water back toward the front of the building, Daphne catches movement out of the corner of her eye as she turns just in time to see Justin hurrying toward the back exit. "Justin!" she calls out in confusion. "Justin, where are you going?" But her friend promptly disappears out the door and never looks back, almost as if he had never even heard her. But she knows that he had to have heard her yelling his name out in the cavernous space. Uneasiness begins to creep into her mind as she wonders aloud, "What the hell is happening?" 

 

 

American Laundry Warehouse - Outskirts of Town

 

 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Justin pulls up in front of the deserted, huge, abandoned warehouse that used to house American Laundry; weeds choke the parking lot and several windows have been smashed and shattered, no doubt the work of bored, teenage vandals. As he opens the door and gets out, he stands there for a moment in the eerie silence under the bright, blue sky, listening to his erratic breathing. He can almost hear his heart pounding in accompaniment. He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out, trying to practice the breathing exercises Brian had taught him years before. He has to find a way to keep his emotions under control; it is the only way he could hope to help Brian and get them out of this horrific situation. 

 

 

Slowly, his pulse racing, he walks carefully toward the entrance, pushing back the rusting, metal entrance gate and slipping inside. Looking around but seeing nothing remiss, he takes another deep breath before quietly approaching the closed door. The metal doorknob is warm to his touch under the sun's relenting rays as he turns it and finds it unlocked. Closing his eyes briefly to compose himself and swallowing hard, he pushes the door and steps inside.

 

 

 

Same Time - GLC Building

 

 

Brian saunters into the building, rolling his eyes at all the artwork on the walls and everyone working diligently to get everything ready for the benefit. He always did detest coming here, but he decides to put his distaste aside for now as he spies Michael nearby, holding his daughter's hand. 

 

 

"Mikey!"

 

 

Michael nods at him with a smile. "Hey, Brian." 

 

 

Brian smiles briefly at the little girl before he looks around and asks curiously, "Where's Justin?"

 

 

"He'll be back in a little while; he had to run out to pick up some more paint." 

 

 

Brian frowns. "He went to the loft?"

 

"I don't know," Michael tells him with a shrug as he ruffles his daughter's hair affectionately. "He just said he needed to get some more paint and asked me to borrow my car and left."

 

"Why would he take your car?" he asks instantly, his senses on alert. A tendril of uneasiness begins to take over him as he picks up a cordless phone lying on a table nearby and hurriedly dials Justin's cell number, only to have it to go voicemail. Disconnecting the call, he quickly dials the loft, hearing the answering machine pick up after a couple of rings. Huffing angrily, he redials Justin's cell number, impatiently waiting for his voicemail to kick in before he growls out a message: "Listen, you little shit! What are you trying to do to me? Where are you and why aren't you answering your damn phone? Call me back on Michael's cellphone as soon as you get this message!" He slams the phone down onto the table. "Fuck!" he cries out in frustration. "He knows better than to do this after what's been going on!" 

 

 

Justin, what are you doing, Sunshine? he wonders, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. Turning to his best friend, he demands, "Tell me exactly what he said to you, Michael! Why would he ask to take your car?" 

 

 

Michael furrows his brow, wondering why Brian is so upset. "He said you brought him down here this morning and then went onto Kinnetik, so he was without a car. So he asked to borrow mine." 

 

"That's not right," Brian told him. "He drove his own car this morning; Daphne helped him put his art supplies into the car. I went straight to work from the loft. He had his own car with him. So why would he ask to use YOUR car?" 

 

 

Michael takes a moment to address his daughter before he responds. "Honey Bun, why don't you take your coloring book and crayons and go sit over there and color for a few minutes while I talk to Brian, okay?" She nods and walks several feet away over to a child's size table to color. Michael waits until JR was busy before he turns back to his friend, worry etched on his face. "You're right, that doesn't make sense. Why would he do that when he could have used his own car?" 

 

 

Brian scrubs his face with his hand. "I'm not sure, but I don't like the answer I'm coming up with. Think, Michael! The police have been following him for days now; they have the description and license plate of both my car and his, so if he goes anywhere, they would be certain to follow him. But if he leaves in an unfamiliar car, they would have no way of knowing it was him. That's got to be the only explanation for him doing that! But why? And now he's not answering his phone!" 

 

"Uh…Brian…"

 

 

Brian turns to observe Michael's new illustrator standing quietly nearby; he hadn't even paid any attention to the man until now.

 

"What is it, Melvin?" he asks tersely, not in any mood to exchange pleasantries with him. 

 

 

Kevin cringes at the sharp tone of Brian's voice as he tells him, "It's Kevin." He sighs as Brian shrugs, obviously not concerned about it. "I…I just wanted to tell you that Justin did seem kind of weird earlier." 

 

 

Brian's lips press together into a thin line. "Describe weird." 

 

The redheaded man licks his lips nervously over the intense stare he is receiving as he responds, "It's hard to explain. He...His face was ashen, and there was a sense of urgency in his voice like it was some kind of emergency and not just a routine errand he was running." 

 

 

Brian turns to Michael in disbelief. "So you didn't ask what was going on, or where he was going, even though Kevin here says he acted like he was upset about something?"

 

"I DID ask him!" Michael replies a little defensively. "But he said he was okay. I was going to question him more about it, in fact, but then Mel and JR showed up and…"

 

 

"…And you forgot everything else when you feasted your eyes on your precious, little daughter," Brian hisses. He knows that is perhaps unfair of him, but he can't help it; he's too worried about Justin at the moment.

 

 

"I can't be happy to see my daughter?" Michael retorts. "I'm allowed to be happy to see her!"

 

 

"Yeah, well, you just saw your little 'Honey Bun' last night. I need to know where Justin is!" 

 

 

Michael opens up his mouth to speak just as Mel and Lindsay approach. 

 

"Brian, what's going on?" Lindsay asks, unable to avoid hearing their raised voices and noticing Brian's expression. 

 

"No one seems to know where Justin went!" he yells, highly agitated now. "And now he's not answering his cell, either! Someone here has to know SOMETHING!" 

 

 

"He's gone?"

 

 

"What do YOU think? Yes, he's gone! And no one seems to know why!" 

 

 

"Brian, I'm sorry. Mel talked to him for just a few seconds when he was on his way out. She told me he just said he needed to run out and pick up some more paint and would be back shortly. She said he did seem like he was in kind of a hurry now that I think about it, but she just figured he was worried about getting his painting done before the benefit tonight." 

 

 

"What did you do now?" Mel demands in an accusatory voice. "The two of you must have argued over something." 

 

 

Brian bristles at the insinuation. "Why do you automatically think I did something? Shit! He was fine this morning when I left for work! And for your information, Mel, I was coming here to take him out to lunch with me. Besides, it's none of your damn…"

 

 

He stops speaking as Emmett walks over to them. "Honeycutt, where did Justin go?" he asks without any further preamble.

 

 

Emmett huffs. "I was just about to ask you the same question! And stop calling me Honeycutt!"

 

Brian takes a deep breath and lets it out. "Emmett, I'm not in the mood for semantics. You don't know where he went, either?" Emmett sadly shakes his head, wondering why everyone is so concerned about his friend, but wondering now if he had been right earlier about something being amiss. Why hadn't he pressed Justin about it? 

 

"Brian, you had to do something to upset him," Mel insists flatly.

 

Brian sighs heavily. "When you will understand, Mel, that I did not DO anything? Damn it! Now that we're finally back together, why would I do something to spoil that? Do you not fucking realize that Justin may be in danger here? Does ANYONE have any idea at all where he might have gone?" 

 

"Brian…?" 

 

 

He turns around when he hears a familiar, frightened voice, and for just a moment his heart fills with hope. "Daphne! Where did Justin go? Did he say anything to you?" Surely Justin would have told her something; she was his biggest confidante.

 

But his heart drops as tears form in her eyes and she shakes her head. "No. He was working on his painting and then I went to fetch some water for us. As I was leaving, though, I saw him answer his phone. I got a couple of bottles out of the refrigerator and stood around for a few minutes to talk to a couple of nurses I know from the hospital who were here to help out, but when I returned I saw him walking toward the back door that heads out to the parking lot. He seemed to be in a big hurry and I called out his name a couple of times, but he ignored me. He had to hear me calling him, though!" Her eyes glisten as she tells Brian fearfully, "Something's going on, Brian. Something bad. I just know it. He left his painting over there and all his art supplies out on the floor. He would never do that and not come back to finish what he started." 

 

 

For the first time, the other friends standing around begin to understand the seriousness of the situation. 

 

 

A shiver runs through Brian over Daphne's words. If anyone would know for sure that something was wrong with Justin, it would be her. He trusts her instincts implicitly. Several, horrible scenarios form in his mind; one all-too-real one depicts Justin lying somewhere on the ground alone, his life ebbing away as blood drains from his slender body. "No…" he whispers. "No…" 

 

 

At that moment, it all becomes very clear who is behind Justin's disappearance, although the how or why is yet to be determined. 

 

"Oh, my God!" Michael cries out, voicing everyone else's thoughts. "Chris Hobbs!"

 

Lindsay begins to weep silently as Mel pulls her into her arms. She is scared to death for her friend, but tries to keep calm as she leans her head on Lindsay's chest and wraps her arms around her wife. 

 

 

Emmett turns to comfort a distraught Daphne as she, too, cries in his arms while the tears stream down her face. Emmett's face is full of pain: a visage of great anxiety mixed in with a bit of guilt over not pressing Justin earlier about his plans as his eyes fill with tears as well.

 

 

Hunter - who had been watching Gus in the other room water paint along with other children he was watching for the adults volunteering today - overhears enough of what is going on to silently pick Gus up as they approach and whisper in his ear that he is going to take him next door to get an ice cream cone from the small treats shop, not wanting the little boy who adores Justin to be upset by what was going on. 

 

 

Even though he didn't quite know what was occurring exactly, Kevin realizes something terrible must be happening and he is frightened for Justin. 

 

 

Brian stands there helplessly, his face etched with great worry. Justin, where ARE you? he laments as Michael quietly walks over to him and reaches out to squeeze his friend's shoulder to try and offer support. "Brian? What…what are we going to do?" 

 

 

Brian struggles to get rid of the lump in his throat before he is finally able to speak.

 

When he did, his voice is deadly calm, belying the pounding of his heart inside and the mountain of fear growing inside him. "Mikey ... Get Carl on the phone; immediately."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your reading.
> 
> Now that you've read, why not comment?
> 
> I'd love to know your opinion.


	13. My Enemy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin confronts his deepest fears.

His heart pounding, Justin quietly slips into the warehouse as he tries to grow accustomed to the darkness that permeates the windowless, cavernous room. He squints, somehow hoping that might allow him to see better, but it is nearly impossible to make out anything of substance in the inkiness. His desperation to know whether or not Brian is all right, however, supersedes his desire to be careful as he calls out softly in a tentative voice, "B…Brian? Are you here?" 

Suddenly, like someone emerging back into the sunlight from a darkened theater, a bright flash of light is thrust in his face and blinds him. His blood runs cold as he hears a familiar voice taunting him from inches away.

"Hello, Taylor; I see you decided to accept my invitation."

Justin feels the blow to his head just before his body falls to the ground, plunging him into unconsciousness.

Back at the GLC - Same Time

Brian cannot contain himself as he paces back and forth, highly agitated, before whirling around to face Horvath in disbelief that they are just standing there doing nothing. His eyes flash in fury as well as fear. 

"Carl, we need to find Justin! Hobbs has somehow managed to lure him to where he's hiding out, and I know he's got to be with him right now! He's in danger! You have to do something!"

Carl sighs; he is sympathetic, but there is only so much he can do at this point. "Brian, you need to calm down. I have to know where Justin is first, and thanks to him slipping out on us we have no idea where he is at the moment."

A small crowd has gathered around the group of friends and the police; everyone's face mirrors their own concern. They all have great admiration for Justin, and are more than willing to help in whatever way they can. 

Ben, having just arrived, spots the commotion and heads urgently toward the group congregated together. He had hurriedly left Carnegie Melon as soon as Michael had called him with the news about Justin. As soon as he spies Michael and Mel standing near Brian and Carl, he rushes over to them. 

"Michael, any word yet?" His husband sadly shakes his head as Ben squeezes his shoulder and nods.

"Listen, did you go ahead and install that GPS in your car like we talked about the other day?" Michael was supposed to have a dashboard system installed at the local dealership after he kept getting lost around town. It had been a running joke that Ben would buy him one for their anniversary so he could find his way to their dinner that night. Now it just might be able to help save a life.

Michael frowns, too caught up in the events to realize why Ben is asking. "Yeah…Why?

"Because the GPS should be able to hone in on Justin's location through your car." 

"Shit! I was feeling so guilty about letting him borrow my car that I had forgotten all about that!"

"Well, you need to tell Carl! There's no time to waste! I'll call the company and see if they can track the car's location."

Michael nods, eager to be of help. "Yeah, you're right! I'll go tell him right now." 

As Ben flips his phone open to call the tracking company, Michael hurries over to Carl who is on the phone talking to one of his detectives; Brian stands restlessly nearby, desperately hoping for any leads as to his partner's whereabouts. 

Carl closes his phone shut as he eyes Brian sympathetically.

"What did he say?" Brian presses him urgently. "Any news?" 

Carl shakes his head sadly. "No, Son, I'm sorry. There's an APB out with a full description of Michael's car, but so far there's been no sign of it or Justin." 

Brian rubs his face in frustration as Michael rushes up to them. "Carl! Carl, I need to talk to you!" 

Carl and Brian peer over at him as he explains, "Ben just reminded me that we had a GPS installed in my car a few days ago! He's calling the tracking company right now to see if they can locate the car through that." 

Brian's face lights up over this first sign of hope as Carl smiles. "That's great, Michael! I'm going to go see what Ben found out." The detective turns quickly to head over to Michael's husband as the two best friends embrace. 

As Michael pulls back, his heart breaks as he peers into Brian's tear-stained face. The highly concerned look he had been wearing before was slowly transforming into one of slight hope over this last piece of news. He places his hands around Brian's neck as he beseeches him, "Don't give up hope, Brian; they'll find him, I know they will." 

"I hope so, Mikey. I just hope it's not too late when they do." 

Minutes Later Across Town….

As Justin slowly regains consciousness, his head is throbbing and he realizes with horror that he is propped up against a hard, cement wall with his hands tied behind his back; at least the dust-covered windows in this smaller room provide a minute amount of light to enter, unlike the other room. He struggles to break free from his bonds, but as the rough, hemp rope digs into his palms and wrists, he comes to the realization that his efforts are useless and he slumps against the coldness, temporarily defeated.

Looking around his dirty, dusty surroundings, his eyes fall upon the person he had never expected to see again and his heart begins to pound in fear. Chris Hobbs is sitting quietly in a metal, foldup chair across from him several feet away, a sick smile on his face and a revolver hanging from his right hand. He rises to his feet as he notices Justin is awake to approach him, walking over until he is only inches away and causing Justin to scrabble sideways in an attempt to move as far away from him as possible; unfortunately Justin merely succeeds in cornering himself as a result, however, as Hobbs finally opens his mouth to speak.

"Hey, Taylor! Calm down! I'm not going to hurt you! At least for now." He grins; a nauseating, smug grin. 

Despite his great pain, Justin's fears for his lover's safety provide him with the strength to demand, "Where's Brian, you bastard?"

"What did I tell you, Taylor?" is the deadly calm response. He clucks, "That's no way to treat your host. You need to relax. I was thinking we could have a nice chat and remember the happy memories that we shared at St. James."

Justin feels the bile rise in his throat as he spits out, "Hobbs, I didn't come here to recall the fucking past with you! I want to know where Brian is. I’m not interested in chatting with you; now or ever." 

Chris's face darkens. "I'm disappointed in you, Taylor. If you really want to know where your precious Kinney is, then you'd better change your attitude right now." 

Justin takes a deep breath, knowing he has to tread carefully. "Chris, we have nothing to talk about. Now please…Tell me where Brian is and let me go. We won't say anything to anyone. You can leave here after we're gone and go on with your life." Inside, however, Justin's heart is breaking with guilt. He feels like he is betraying everyone who died in the bombing and Luke as well, but it is the only thing he can think of to say to save the man he loves.

Chris snorts in derision. "Life? What life? You destroyed my fucking life! Do have any idea what I went through after you infected me with your lifestyle? Before…Before you came along, I enjoy fucking girls, Taylor! They were falling all over me! But then you came along, and I started having these nasty thoughts. I keep thinking about your hand around my dick." He wiped his hand across his face. "I'm NOT some disgusting faggot like you are! But I couldn't stop thinking about your face…your smell. Fuck, I couldn't get you out of my mind! And it's all your damn fault!" 

"Chris, I'm sorry…" But Justin secretly isn't sorry. It isn't his fault that Chris had actually enjoyed it. He hadn't forced him to dream about him. Chris was - and always had been - in denial about him; of that much he is certain.

Chris laughs in disbelief. "You're sorry? You're sorry? Were you sorry when you humiliated me in front of all my friends and I went home that night and jerked off? Were you sorry when you and Kinney danced at the prom and ruined it for everyone else? Were you sorry when you put that fucking gun in my mouth and made me piss in my goddamn pants while that other faggot laughed at me?" 

Justin has to bite back what he really wants to say as he buys time for him, and most importantly, Brian. "Chris, I'm sorry. I can't take it back now. I shouldn't have done that." 

"No, you shouldn't have. But you did anyway, didn't you? Fucking faggot!" 

The years of Chris harassing him and hurting him, verbally and physically, boil up inside him as Justin growls, "What about you, Hobbs? What gave YOU the right to pursue me every day in school, knock me against lockers, spew venom at me and call me vile names? What gave YOU the right to hit me with a fucking baseball bat, just because I danced with the person that I loved at the prom! You could have killed me, you bastard!" 

Chris's lips thin into a hard line and his brows narrow in anger. "Oh, you're wrong about that, Taylor. I didn't decide to use that baseball bat just because you were dancing with your faggot boyfriend. I had decided way before then to use it to kill you. I knew that was the only way I could ever get you out of my head and out of my life forever." 

Justin's eyes widen in horror over that revelation. He always wondered why Hobbs happened to have a baseball bat at the prom. Now he realizes it wasn't just some fluke, or he didn't just find one somewhere in the locker room down the hall. No, he had apparently planned it out well in advance. Had he been just waiting for the perfect opportunity to not only hurt him, but to actually kill him? That thought fills him with great fear as he begins to wonder where Brian is. All this time there has been no sign of him yet. What had Hobbs done to him? God, please…

"Chris , where the hell is Brian? What have you done with him?" 

Hobbs begins to laugh uncontrollably like he has just been told the funniest joke. What an idiot, he thinks. What an arrogant faggot. What does Justin see in Kinney? He is far too old for him. Okay, the man is beautiful, I suppose, if you are another faggot. But Justin is also beautiful. He is so handsome, with his blue eyes, his pale skin, his blond hair, and his mouth, so full and...

"NO!" he roars as he puts his hands up to the side of his head as if he is trying to get rid of his sick, dirty thoughts. Justin shrinks back in an attempt to avoid Chris when his captor reaches over to grab his shoulder and shake him violently as he yells "I am NOT a disgusting faggot! I am NOT a fucking homo!" 

Justin closes his eyes as Chris finally lets go of him, inhaling and exhaling hard as he tries frantically to control his breathing and his racing heartbeat. He knows he is very close to a full-fledged panic attack, but he knows he can't surrender to it. He has to find out what happened to Brian. He looks up to see Chris staring at him from a few feet away as if lost in a hazy fog. His eyes are clouded over in a blank stare. "Chris, listen to me! Do you hear me?" 

Finally, Hobbs' eyes blink as he fixes him with an angry, frustrated stare; Justin can clearly see madness and fear on his face. It makes him sick to his stomach, but he forces himself to say softly, "Chris, I'm here with you. I'll stay with you and we will solve this mess together, Okay?"

Chris mutely shakes his head in response. 

Justin tries to ignore the pounding in his head as he states quietly, "Just tell me where Brian is and let him go so we can talk." 

Justin's heart thumps as Chris seems to change into another personality as he lets out a triumphant-sounding laugh and smiles down at him smugly. "He's not here, Taylor." 

Justin swallows hard, fear rising in his stomach. He has to muster all his strength to formulate the dreaded question. "Chris, did you hurt him?" 

Chris grins, enjoying their little game. He decides it won't matter if he tells him the truth. "No, I didn't hurt him, Taylor. He was never here to begin with." 

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" 

Chris snorts. "See, you aren't as clever as you think you are, Taylor. It was so easy to fool you." He begins to taunt him in a high-octave voice. "I'm here with Brian. You'd better come save him." He laughs. "I never had your precious, faggot boyfriend. He was never the one I was after to begin with. I lied my ass off and you fucking believed it. And now I have who I really wanted." 

Justin is too relieved to realize that Brian is safe to contemplate how much danger he is in. He realizes, however, that is not dealing with a normal human being. He furiously tries to formulate the best way to convince Hobbs to let him leave. "Yeah, Chris, you are definitely smarter than me. You deceived me, all right." 

But his goal to flatter the other man falls by the wayside as Chris retorts, "Don't try and play games with me, Taylor! I'm not going to fall for any of your tricks. You think you can flatter me and I'll just let you go?" 

"No, of course not!" Justin insists in frustration as he sighs. "Okay. You want to talk; then let's talk." 

"Talk?" Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you know who you're dealing with here? Have you forgotten that I don't care a damn about whether you get hurt or not? Don't mess with me, Justin. I don't care whether you die or not. Actually, that's not true. I do care." He smiles down at him, clearly enjoying his captive's fear and anxiety as he relishes his control over him. 

Justin's breathing hitches as he sees Hobbs moving closer, his face menacing and hateful. He sees a vein bulging out on the side of his neck as he tells him, "Remember that god awful place they sent me to so I could do my community service after I bashed your brains in? I had to do fucking janitorial duty for a bunch of other faggots, all because of you! And one of them had the nerve to look at me like I wanted him to get me off! You know he even resembled you?" He smiled in memory. "But one afternoon when he was sleeping, I managed to creep into his room unnoticed and it was so simple. All I had to do was put a pillow over his face and hold it there until he stopped struggling. Disgusting faggot. He was weak already, so it wasn't that hard anyway. But I felt so damn good afterward, because I had rid the world of one less freak. Now I have a chance to do it again."

Justin's eyes widen in horror over what Chris has done. Was this how his life was going to end? In a dirty, godforsaken, abandoned warehouse at the hands of a maniac? "Chris, please…"

"Please what?" Chris taunts him. "I told you not to contaminate me, but you wouldn't listen, would you? You had to go around and flaunt how proud you were to be a fag! How the hell could anyone be proud about that? But you and Kinney were, weren't you? Do you think you have any right to exist on this earth? Isn't it bad enough that you're so disgusting? But you couldn't keep it to yourself, could you? Someone has to stop you." Chris begins to pace back and forth. "But it went all wrong," he growls. "I lost my future. Do you know what I missed out on because of you? I lost out on my scholarship to college because I couldn't play football anymore. Your asshole boyfriend made sure of that when he broke my knee. Because of that, my father didn't respect me anymore. I 'disgraced the family' by my actions. He never stopped telling me what a fucking disappointment I was to him. And it was all YOUR and Kinney's fault!" 

He stops pacing to hover over Justin as he tells him, "I started taking drugs to try and numb the pain and humiliation and to help me forget the disgusting things that you made me think about. I lost all control and became a fucking addict because of you! I wasn't a star athlete anymore; I was a failure." He shakes his head. "My father was afraid that I would embarrass him, so he put me into rehab. But I still couldn't get you out of my head, and I still couldn't forget all those nasty thoughts. I still wanted you dead, too. I just didn't want to go back to jail and see that look on my father's face again. So I tried to forget you and do what my father wanted." 

He pauses. "For a while I worked for him and the thoughts went away. I found a girl that liked me and I tried to be normal again. I was so close…until you showed up with that other fag. Then I couldn't stop thinking about you again and what I wanted to do with you…And it was then that I knew the only way I could get you out of my mind was to get rid of you once and for all." 

He laughs. "My girlfriend wanted me to talk about my 'problems.' But I don’t HAVE any 'problems.' I just have ONE problem. You! The bitch couldn't understand that I didn't want her near me. I just wanted to be alone, so I hit her." He shakes his head angrily. "She threatened to run to the fucking cops about it, so I had to go tell my father what I had done. Do you know how hard that was? It was humiliating! He had to give her hush money so she wouldn't say anything about what had happened. He kept going on and on about how I had disgraced the family and how I had let him down and how he despised me. On and on and on and on…"

He shuts his eyes tightly as holds his head in his hands before opening them back up again to stare down at Justin. "Even then I still couldn't stop thinking about you. That night when you humiliated me in front of my house I had actually decided to kill myself. I was going to come home from work, go inside and swallow a bunch of pills so I would never have to think about you again, because I would be dead. But then YOU showed up with that other faggot and humiliated me, and then I decided that was too easy on you." He smiles. "You actually saved my life that night, Taylor! And now I get to 'repay' you for it and get rid of all you disgusting queers, just like I did at Babylon." 

Justin knows deep down that it had to have been Chris, but he is still horrified to hear his confession. "So it WAS who you put that bomb there." 

Chris begins to pace again before he turns back around. "You want some advice, Taylor?" He laughs. "If you ever want to bomb some place, just do a little surfing! I did exactly what it showed me to do on the web; it even had fucking illustrations! I used all the recommended materials that I got from the friendly, neighborhood hardware store and it worked like a charm. I had just enough time to start the timer and get out of there before it went off. I was bummed, though, by the number of faggots killed that night. Only seven," he recalls as he shakes his head sadly before fastening his stare on Justin. "And you got out of there with just a few scratches, while you faggot boyfriend wasn't even the hell there. What a coward!" He smiles. "At least his little faggot best friend almost died, though. That was pretty sweet." 

Justin can't contain his disgust. "You're a fucking monster!" he spits out.

Chris's eyes blaze. "YOU'RE the monster, Taylor! You're the one that's not worth living! You infect people with your sickening lifestyle. I was right that day, you know. You do deserve to get AIDS and die a slow, agonizing death, just like your faggot boyfriend." Justin's eyes widen in fear as Chris reaches over to grab his shoulder again. "You know what I'm going to do with you, Taylor? I'm going to make you suffer for everything that I suffered through. But don't worry; I'll take good care of you. And when I'm done with you, not even your own mother will recognize you. But for now, I think it's time for you to take a little nap. Sweet dreams, faggot!" 

Before Justin can react, Hobbs punches him in the face as he loses consciousness once more. 

Same Time - GLC

Brian can barely control himself as he asks Ben for the umpteenth time, "Well? Have you got it yet?" He can't understand what is taking so long. 

Ben sighs as he finally gets off the phone. "Yes!" he finally confirms. "They have managed to locate where the car is." He hurriedly jots down the information on a small piece of paper; as Brian immediately reaches over to try and snatch it out of his hands, only to have Carl intercept it just in the nick of time.

"No way, Brian. This is a police matter. You need to say out of it," Carl tells him tersely as Brian's mouth gapes open in disbelief.

"No fucking way, Carl! Not in your wildest dreams! I am not leaving Justin in danger with that psychopath!" 

Carl shakes his head. "Brian, I'll say it again; you need to stay out of it. This is MY job, not yours." 

Before Brian can respond, Ben asks Carl, "Do you know where this address is?" He wasn't familiar with it, even though he had lived in the Pitts for a long time. 

Carl nods. "Yeah, it's on the other side of town in the manufacturing district. It's an abandoned warehouse about fifteen minutes away from here." 

"Let's go, then," Brian decides as he turn to go, only to have Carl grab his arm.

"Kinney, you're not going anywhere," Carl growls, growing perturbed by Brian's intrusion. "You're staying here."

"The hell I will! There is nothing you can do to make me stay here." 

The crowd of friends began to murmur amongst themselves as they try to decide what to do, their voices growing louder in support of Brian going.

"Okay, everybody quiet, please!" Carl beseeches the group as he tries to get them to listen to reason. "We have no idea what we are going to find there or what the current situation is! I have to worry about not only Justin's safety, but all of yours as well. I cannot allow a civilian to be put into jeopardy." 

"Well, you have one way of ensuring that, Carl. No one else will go but me. But you're not going to stop me from coming with you," Brian vows. "You'll have to physically get someone to restrain me, because there's no way I'm not going to be there for Justin." 

Carl lets out a frustrated sigh. Something tells him he's going to regret it, but he also knows that Brian won't give up on his quest to be there. "All right," he finally acquiesces. "You can come. But you will do what I tell you, you understand? And everyone else remains here." He raises his hand to quell the others' voices of protest as he advises Brian, "You will stay inside the car, Kinney. You won't try and be a hero and you will follow all my instructions. That is the ONLY way that I will agree to this. Got it?" 

"Okay, okay, whatever you say," Brian grudgingly agrees, although silently he vows he will do whatever it takes to make sure that Justin is safe. "Let's get going, then!" 

Carl nods. "I've got several of my men already on the way there, waiting for my instructions. This way," he told Brian as the two of them rush toward the exit leading out to the parking lot, leaving Ben with the extremely difficult task of having to inform both Debbie and Jennifer about what has happened.

At the abandoned warehouse…

Justin moans as he feels a sharp pain in his left side as Chris kicks him. "Wake up, Taylor! You've had enough beauty sleep!"

Hobbs hovers impossibly close over him as Justin curls up into a ball and tries to protect his injured head. 

"It's time to play!" Hobbs snarls. "Your Prince Charming isn't going to show up to rescue your cute, little ass this time." 

"Don't come any closer, Hobbs! Leave…Leave me alone!" Justin manages to stutter out through clenched teeth, his entire body wracked with pain now. He moans and writhes in agony as Hobbs delivers another kick to his side before he inexplicably turns and stomps over to his seat to grab a bottle of half-finished beer and down a large swig of it. He eyes the curled-up ball with hatred and loathing, resentful of everything Justin represents, as well as his spirit and conviction.

"Do you know how much shit you put me through, Taylor?" he tells him. "It wasn't easy finding a way to get that bomb inside the club." He laughs with ridicule as he adds, "But fortunately for you, faggots are very easy to deceive. All I had to do was tell someone at the back entrance that I was part of the production crew for the show and let the bartender suck me off and promise to fuck him afterward. It was so damn easy! I told him I had some gym clothes in my duffel bag that I needed to stash behind the bar while I was dancing, and he didn't even bat an eyelash when I put it there. He was a total, fucking idiot!" 

Despite his great pain, Justin lifts his head slightly from where he is lying on the ground to whisper, "Ricky?" He remembered the barman that night; he had always been so kind to him and had tended to look the other way when he wanted a drink. Of course, being with Brian all the time probably had something to do with it, but Ricky had been his favorite bartender there. 

Hobbs snorts. "How the hell do I know the name of the faggot? I know he was very eager to please, though, after I told him he could fuck me later. What a sucker!" He laughs at his joke as he tells Justin proudly, "He was the first one to go. All I had to do was wait until Cyndi Lauper started singing and had everyone's attention, and then I slipped outside and detonated the bomb. Boom!" he yells as he smiles broadly. "It was great! All that smoke and noise and then the fire. But then it died out as soon as it started." His face darkens as he takes another swig. "Damn, fucking internet!"

He stands up and begins to pace restlessly before he turns around to face his captive; Justin is now lying curled up on his side, making sure he is not applying pressure to his left side where Hobbs had continually kicked him. His eyes are becoming glassy from the pain he feels throughout his body as Hobbs relates, "After I found out you survived with barely a fucking scratch on you, I started thinking about some kind of alternative plan, but you'd already left for New York. I began to think, though, that it might be the perfect opportunity to take care of you while your asshole protector wasn't around, so I followed you there. I followed you everywhere," he brags. "I found out where you lived, where you worked, and where you displayed your paintings. Wherever you went, I followed." 

Justin groans softly, the pain increasing. He had always had this niggling feeling that someone was following him at times; apparently he had been right. 

Hobbs seems oblivious to his discomfort, however, as he continues, "But you were always with someone; it was so fucking annoying! Either it was some guy or the tattooed sluts who lived in the apartment with you or that wimpy little musician who managed somehow to change from being your friend to a boyfriend. He was starting to get in the way...So I got rid of him." He speaks as if he had exterminated a pest or gave away an annoying pet. 

Justin's eyes fill with tears over the callous loss of his friend as they begin to flow unbidden down his face. He could have never imagined that someone would ever hate him so much. "Why? Why did you have to kill him?" he gasps out through his pain. 

Chris shrugs. "I was expecting it to be you. The parking lot attendant told me there would be a blond guy picking up the car, so I figured it was you. It wasn't MY fault that you happened to pick another blond guy for a boyfriend! When he showed up to pick up the car, he saw me so I had no choice. I had to get rid of him, or he would have gone running to you with the information. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." 

Justin can't believe what he is hearing. He killed Luke just because he was an inconvenience? He struggles to speak through his pain as he chokes out, "How…How did…you stay hidden?" 

Hobbs shrugs. "The police had nothing against me, so they didn't have any reason to come find me." He snorts. "My father was all too willing to put money in my bank account every month, just to keep me away." His eyes darken with anger as he adds, "He acted like he was looking for me because of my mom, but he couldn't have cared less where I was or how I was doing. All he was concerned about was keeping me out of his life."

Hobb's voice rises with excitement as he tells his captive, "You never got to see the special room I had set up for you, Taylor. I had it all planned out just for you. You know what my favorite film is?" He waits a few seconds to see if Justin will answer, but he is in too much pain to follow his erratic train of thought. "Ever seen The Fight Club? It's a kick-ass movie! I was going to take you to this room I had made up and first smash in your pretty, little face, and then break all of your fingers so you would never be able to pick up a paintbrush or a pencil again. Don't you think that would have been a fair trade after what Kinney did to me? I don't get to play football; you don't get to paint." 

His eyes bore into Justin's battered body as he concedes, "But my plan didn't work. I owed somebody money and they came looking for me, threatening to kill me if I didn't pay up, so I had to leave. By the time I was able to come back to New York City, you had taken off for Europe. I stayed there for a little while and then wound up in Chicago."

He takes another swig from the beer bottle as he explains, "I kept tabs on you, though, and when I read in some art magazine that you were coming back here, I knew my luck was finally changing. I flew back to New York City and waited for you…Until I found out you were heading back to the Pitts instead, so I had to change my plans again." He smiles smugly. "I should have been a fucking detective! I would have liked to take care of you once and for all back in that room. But somehow I think this is more appropriate: ending everything where it all began…Don't you agree?" 

Justin is quickly realizing Hobbs is losing all sense of reality as he struggles to ask him, "How…How did you…get Brian's phone?" 

Hobbs smiles a sick sort of smile as he replies, "For someone who's supposed to be so fucking smart, he should learn to choose his employees better."

Justin can't believe it; someone had betrayed Brian? Who would have done that? Brian was meticulous in being actively involved in the hiring process, and trusted each of his employees implicitly. Maybe, just maybe Hobbs feels that he is not vulnerable and will disclose who it is; he has to find out for Brian's sake - if he somehow can get out of his predicament.

"Wh….Who was it?" 

"It's none of your damn business," was the irritated response. "You've got much bigger problems at the moment, Taylor. Better start saying your prayers," he tells him with a laugh. "If you believe in that shit, anyway." 

Justin is getting more and more frightened. From Hobbs' body language, it is clear that he is getting more and more agitated and dislodged from reality. He realizes that his time is rapidly running out. How would anyone even know where he is? Would Carl somehow be able to still find him in time? He needs to stall for more time. In addition, he is dizzy, his head is aching severely, and he is struggling to simply stay conscious. 

"What…what are…you going…to do with me, Chris?" he manages to whisper painfully, unable to take a full breath with his ribs injured. 

Chris smiles. "Oh, around dusk we'll go for a romantic stroll around the lush grounds here. It's nice and isolated; no one will ever find you. I have a special place all set up just for your final goodbye…after we have a little private time first, though; just you and me." 

"Ch…Chris, just let me go. I won't…won't tell anyone. I'll…I'll go back to the Pitts or out in the country somewhere if you want….but just…let me go."

His hopes are shattered as Chris snarls, "Did you not understand anything of what I just told you, Taylor? I can't get you out of my head! The only way I can find any peace at all is if you just cease to exist. It all ends tonight." 

Justin moans in pain as he drops his head onto the dirty, dusty floor in defeat. He knows now that it's inevitable that he is going to die. He only hopes that when it comes his death will be quick, and that Brian, his mom, and his friends will be strong enough to bear whatever happens. 

Just then, however, a noise at the back of the warehouse shatters the silence. 

"What the fuck?" Chris growls as he walks closer to Justin with the gun still held in his hand. "Looks like my plans have just changed again," he states with deadly calm as he cocks the trigger and places the cold, hard muzzle against Justin's head. 

A few minutes earlier…

Wiping his sweaty brow, Carl walks purposefully back over to the car that had carried him and Brian to the warehouse as Brian peers over at him anxiously. 

"Well?" he presses the older man, his face drawn with worry. "Did you see him?" Please, let him be okay…

Brian's heart skips a beat as Carl nods; they had been extremely careful about approaching the warehouse, parking behind another nearby building out of sight while a group of his men conducted some preliminary surveillance. 

"Yeah, Justin's still alive," he reports tersely. "One of my men has determined that Hobbs is holding him in a small room at the rear of the building. He's got him tied up and he's lying on the floor. Hobbs is sitting in a chair facing him. Looks like the two of them are alone." 

Brian fights to remain calm as he asks, "Why haven't you done anything to get him out of there, then?" 

"Son, we can't just go bashing the door down without risking getting Justin even more injured than he already appears to be. The doors have been locked from the inside, so it's not going to take some time getting in that way. I've got a sharpshooter positioned on top of the roof next door, ready to take Hobbs out if he gets a good shot at him, and I have the best hostage negotiator we have on standby. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure Justin gets out of there alive, Brian, but you've got to trust me on this."

"Carl, this is JUSTIN we're talking about here and he's with the asshole who almost killed him before!" It is tearing Brian up inside that he can't do anything to help him, and that Justin is already injured. What the hell has Hobbs done to him?

"I know, Brian, I know! But you agreed to do what I told you, remember? Either you do whatever I say, or I'll have one of my men take you back to the Pitts right now. Which one is it going to be?"

Brian fumes, hating to feel so helpless but knowing that Carl is right. "Okay, okay," he grumbles. "But Carl…please, don't let anything happen to him." He does not even want to imagine that; he can't imagine that. He can't live his life without Justin in it. 

Carl nods, his mouth drawn into a tight line. "I'll do everything I can, Brian, you know that. I care about that young man, too, and so does Debbie." 

Brian's pulse races as a policeman hurries up to them. "Sir, we're ready to go."

Brian begins to open the car door, only to have Carl shake his head and push back against it. "No, stay here! I'll bring Justin out to you." 

"You'd better," Brian warns him, unable to think of any other alternative. "Go!" he urges him, knowing every second Carl stays there Justin is in more and more danger. 

Carl nods as Brian watches him and other man rush around toward the back of the building, his thoughts occupied by his partner currently being held prisoner by a madman. Please…Please…hang on just a little longer, Justin…

Moments later inside the warehouse…

Chris almost pulls the trigger but is jolted by a static-filled voice stating authoritatively, "Chris Hobbs, this is the Pittsburgh Police Department! It's all over. The building is surrounded! Let Mr. Taylor go and no one will get hurt." 

Chris's face contorts in anger. "That's where you're mistaken!" he yells. "You're too fucking late!" 

Hearing Chris's words, Carl gives the go ahead for three police officers to break into the room, having found a way to enter through the rear, lock door minutes earlier. 

As the trio of heavily-armed men rush into the room a few seconds later, followed closely by Horvath; they stop as they observe Hobbs standing over Justin, battered and bruised. 

Justin hones in immediately on Carl's concerned face as he struggles to smile at him in relief, even though he is far from out of danger at the moment. For the first time, however, he has just a glimmer of hope that he might be able somehow to get out of this situation alive. 

Carl scrutinizes the boy that Debbie has come to love as another son with a trained eye; it is obvious that Justin is seriously injured. His head is speckled with crusted, red blood and there is a darkening bruise on the right side of his face. The way that Justin is favoring the left side of his body, also, indicates that Hobbs has inflicted some sort of injury there as well. Carl is particularly concerned with the injury to Justin's head, knowing all too well his previous injury and how he had barely survived it. He knows he needs to get Justin to a hospital right away, but right now there is no way he can do that. 

"Hobbs, don't make matters any worse," Carl quietly tells the agitated man as he looks down at Justin, whose eyes are silently beseeching him to save him. "Just drop your weapon, Son, and release Justin and no one will get hurt. There's been enough pain." 

"I'm not releasing anyone, and I am not your son!" Chris snaps through clenched teeth, bouncing lightly up and down on his feet with barely restrained energy. "I've KILLED people, you son of a bitch! You won’t me go! I'm not some fucking fool! I'm not spending the rest of my life in a jail cell! I'm taking Taylor with me - so either let me out of here with him or I'll take care of him NOW." 

One of the policemen - the top-notch negotiator that Carl had mentioned to Brian earlier - walks closer to the Hobbs as he calmly instructs him, "Mr. Hobbs, your situation is only going to get worse if you hurt Mr. Taylor any further. We're here to help you. We don't intend to hurt you if you will just cooperate."

Chris keeps the gun aimed at Justin's head as he laughs. "Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? You don't want to help me! No one wants to help me! I should have done this a long time ago!"

A soft noise sounds behind the police as everyone turns to observe Brian standing in the doorway, a look of horror on his face as he sees Hobbs looming over the man he loves more this his own life, aiming a gun at his temple. "Justin…" he gasps out in abject panic. 

Justin's eyes lock on his partner's as he moans softly, frightened more for Brian's safety than his own. "Br…Brian," he breathes out as their eyes lock on each other's, fear, anguish, despair, hope, trust, and love clearly evident. "Brian, it's…I…" Justin tries to reassure his partner that everything is somehow going to be okay, that everything will be fine and they will be together again. But his strength is fading fast and he is unable to get the words out that his heart is feeling. 

"Say goodbye, Kinney," Chris tells him as he pulls back the trigger.

"No!" Brian screams out in sheer terror, just as the sound of a gunshot echoes throughout the room. 

Justin feels his body slumping and indescribable pain before he is plunged into total darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was very difficult for me to write such violent scenes and lines for Chris Hobbs in this chapter. Please do not hate me.


	14. You Are My Sunshine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One chapter in Brian and Justin's lives ends; another one is opened.

Allegheny General Hospital - Pittsburgh - Three Hours Later

 

 

Justin squints his eyes against the bright, florescent light on the wall behind his head as he blinks several times in disorientation, trying to figure out where he is and what has happened. He moans softly in dismay as he realizes he is in yet another hospital. Shit, not again, he can't help thinking as he turns his head toward the side of the bed to observe Brian peering back at him with a worried but also relieved expression on his face, his hand clutching his on the mattress.

 

 

Brian's eyes light up as they focus on his now awake partner. "Hey," he calls to him softly as he leans over in his chair to gently brush some hair back from his forehead. "You're finally awake."

 

 

Justin smiles at him as much as he can through his pain, vastly relieved to know that Brian is okay. "Hey yourself," he whispers in a scratchy voice.

 

 

"How are you feeling?" Brian softly asks, rejoicing that he is able to feast on his lover's brilliant, blue eyes peering into his.

 

 

Justin winces. "My head hurts like a motherfucker, and I feel like someone's hit me with a Mack truck. But other than that, I'm just fine," he kids back.

 

 

Brian's face darkens in recollection as he informs him, "That bastard hit you in the head before we could find you, didn't he?" Justin swallows before nodding in confirmation, feeling Brian's hand gripping his a little tighter in disbelief. "You wound up with a concussion that was aggravated further when Hobbs fell on top of you. You have two broken ribs, all kinds of bruises...And you'll be sporting a beauty of a black eye for a while." Brian's jaw clenches as he tries to control his anger over what Justin has endured; how he wishes he could have 'properly' punished Hobbs for what he has done to his partner.

 

 

Justin nods, realizing his chest is wrapped in some sort of gauze or bandage where he had been kicked by Hobbs; the way he is hurting, he's not surprised that some of his ribs are broken. "That certainly explains the pain," he struggles to say, trying not to move too much for fear it would aggravate the throbbing. He hates lying flat on his back, however, so despite the chance of more pain, he pleads, "Brian, help me to sit up a little."

 

 

"Justin, I'm not sure that's..."

 

 

"Brian, please! I can't stand lying flat on my back like this."

 

 

Despite his better judgment, Brian nods as he locates the bed's controls and, a few seconds later, Justin groans as the head of the bed slowly begins to rise. "Enough," he gasps out after a short time as Brian lets up on the remote and readjusts the pillow for him. Justin drops his head back down onto the pillow in exhaustion as he grimaces, flushing in embarrassment as Brian drinks in the sight of him. "Shit, I must look horrible to you."

 

 

Brian shakes his head as he reaches over to gently caress the side of Justin's face with the back of his hand before kissing him lightly on the lips. As he pulls back, he whispers, "That's where you're wrong, Sunshine. Right now you've never looked more beautiful to me."

 

 

Justin rolls his eyes and smiles at Brian, his face warming at the intense gaze Brian is bestowing on him. His horrible experience at the hands of Chris Hobbs comes flooding back to him; that is, everything except for what happened to the bastard.

 

 

Brian continues to caress his cheek as he asks the question he urgently needs to know the answer to. "Brian, what happened to Chris? Why can't I remember?" His voice is shaking over the thought that maybe Chris managed somehow to get away. Was he still in danger?

 

 

Brian notices the look of worry and panic on his lover's face as he hastens to reassure him that he is safe now. "Everything's okay. Let's just say that he and Saint Joan will be able to get acquainted now."

 

 

Justin's breath quickens. "You mean...He's dead?"

 

 

Brian nods. "Yeah, he's dead, all right. When he aimed that gun at your head, the police didn't have any choice. They had to kill him; there was no other way. There was a sharpshooter on the building's roof next door and the guy was just waiting for the right moment to shoot. He had been given the go-ahead to take him out if necessary, and when he shot him, the son of a bitch fell on top of you, causing you to hit your head on the ground." His eyes blazed. "Even in death the bastard managed to hurt you. But he's never going to hurt you again, Sunshine."

 

 

Justin can't believe it as relief floods his body. "Then it's finally over," he whispers, his eyes glistening. Even though he now knows that he's safe, he still can't help mourning those that had been lost at Hobb's hands.

 

 

Brian nods again as he smiles tenderly at him. "Yes, it is. He's gone and he's not coming back." He gazes apologetically into Justin's eyes as he informs him, "I need to warn you, though; Carl will need to talk to you now that you're awake. He needs to take your statement and get all the details so he can close out the case. But you're going to rest for a little longer while before he does that."

 

 

Justin nods. "Brian?" he whispers, his throat raw and dry. Brian seems to instinctively realize what he needs as he reaches over to grab a plastic cup filled with half-melted ice and water and holds the straw under Justin's lips so he can take a few sips. Justin nods at him gratefully to signal he's done as Brian places it back down on the portable hospital tray.

 

 

"Brian, he told me everything. About the bomb...And about Luke's murder. He...He even confessed to smothering one of the AIDS hospice patients with a pillow when he was doing community service there after the bashing." His eyes water as he tells him, "In his words, he thought he was doing everyone a fucking favor when he killed him."

 

 

"Fuck!" Brian roars in disbelief and disgust, horrified that not only Justin had been forced to hear all that, but he had been made in essence to relive it all over again, too. He realizes, not for the first time, how close he came to losing him.

 

 

Greatly relieved and grateful that he didn't lose him after all, Brian rises so he can sit on the edge of the bed as he sweeps Justin tenderly into his arms; needing to feel the warmth, the aliveness, of his partner's body against his. He hears Justin sigh as he closes his eyes and begins to feel all the tension and anxiety slowing disappearing.

 

 

Pulling back slightly after a while to stare into Justin's battered but majestic face, he presses his lips gently against his, the kiss quickly becoming intense and filled with need; need to feel each other's presence and confirm that this isn't all a dream; that it's real and they really are together and safe in each other's arms.

 

 

Both sigh softly when the kiss ends as Brian leans his forehead against Justin's, the two remaining that way for several seconds as they listen to each other's breaths; a simple but empowering gesture.

 

 

Brian knows that Carl will soon be coming in to check on Justin; he wants to intercept him before that to ask that he wait just a while longer so his partner can get some much-needed rest, but he doesn't want to leave Justin's side. Even though his brain knows that Hobbs is, indeed, finally dead, his heart is still too fragile and he feels the tendrils of fear embedded there even now.

 

 

Brian gazes deeply into Justin's blue eyes, the tension starting to diminish at last. He can feel a tiredness permeating him, both physical and mental, and his own body is screaming for rest. But as much as he, too, needs to recuperate, nothing at that moment will separate him from the man he loves.

 

 

He also knows that the doctor will need to be informed that Justin is awake, and Jennifer and Debbie will need to know his progress as well. The two women were stationed just down the hall in a nearby waiting room, anxiously waiting for word about Justin's condition, and he knows it's not fair to keep them in suspense. But before he departs from him, he has to know some answers to a few nagging questions.

 

 

Justin notices a flicker of annoyance on Brian's face as he asks him, "Sunshine, tell me why in the hell you decided to go to that warehouse alone. Why didn't you call me at Kinnetik like I told you to?" Brian's voice - and his unwavering stare - tell Justin in no uncertain terms that he wants a straight, honest answer.

 

 

Justin takes a deep breath, as deep a breath as he's able to; realizing how reckless he had been. He has to try to make Brian understand why he would do such a thing.

 

 

"I did call Kinnetik," he tells him. "I spoke with Cynthia, and she told me you weren't there and that there was no way to get in touch with you."

 

 

Brian nods as he recalls his schedule earlier today. Damn. "Yeah, I was in a meeting with representatives from Remson Pharmaceuticals," he explains. They wanted me to design a new campaign for them, and we were meeting with a research group to test the new ad I had come up with for them." He shook his head. "I almost lost all of their business, thanks to Sanders. He really fucked up the boards initially, and they hated the campaign. That's the thanks I get for letting him oversee it. I trusted him and he made a royal mess out of it! I had to take it over myself. I could swear he almost fucked it up on purpose, but I have no idea why he would do that." He bristled as he recalled how out-of-sync and archaic the photo boards had been. "Well, he managed to fuck himself out of the Director's job, too. What an idiot!"

 

 

Justin looks at him almost shyly as he replies, "Well, I'm sure you can find someone a lot more competent than Sanders to run your Art Department." He isn't about to come right out and say that HE would like that job; not yet, anyway. Right now there are more important issues they need to clear the air about.

 

 

Brian purses his lips together. "I will," he tells him. "Someone as mediocre as he is will have his work cut out for him trying to find a similar position, especially after they find out he was fired from Kinnetik." His eyes fix on his partner unblinkingly as he adds, "But I don't want to talk about that asshole right now. Don't try to change the subject, Justin. I still want to know what was going on in that little blond head of yours to possess you to do something so stupid and so dangerous."

 

 

Justin swallows. He knows now that his decision was a hasty one and could have cost him - or Brian - his life. He could be dead right now, and he could have caused great pain to the people who loved him, especially Brian. It was a selfish and careless act on his part. As he detects the look of pain on Brian's face, he realizes that no excuse will be an adequate one, no matter how well-intentioned it might have been. He at least has to try and make Brian understand his reasoning, however.

 

 

He nods as Brian silently waits for a response. "Chris convinced me that he was holding you against your will, and that you were in danger. He somehow had your cellphone and called me on it. He told me that if I told anyone about what was going on or where he was that he would hurt you...or worse. He also claimed that he has someone watching me at the GLC who would tell him if I betrayed his trust or tipped off the police."

 

 

He averts his eyes in embarrassment as he admits softly, "I realize now that it was all one, big, fat lie and that he didn't have anyone watching me - and he wasn't holding you hostage. But because of what he told me, I wound up lying to Michael so I could borrow his car and slip out without the police noticing I was leaving."

 

 

Brian sighs as he brushes one hand through his hair in agitation. "So you decided to face Hobbs alone after all he's done to you? You DO realize how stupid that was. We might not have arrived in time, Justin! And now...Now..." He looks at Justin's injuries that he can see - the black eye, the bruised cheek and the bandage on his head - and he can't even finish the sentence. He could have lost him for good this time. He can feel the anger bubbling up inside him, but he tries furiously not to let it out, knowing that Justin has to feel bad enough as it is already. "Fuck!" he growls at last as he lets out a heavy breath to try and control his anger.

 

 

Justin reaches over to lay his hand against the side of Brian's neck, detecting a vein pulsing furiously beneath his touch and feeling guilty about how much tension Brian is holding in check because of him. He knows, though, that if he ever thought Brian was in danger again he wouldn't hesitate to do it what he had to do. "Please, Brian, calm down," he murmurs soothingly. "I'm fine. How DID you manage to find me?" he inquires curiously.

 

 

Brian takes a breath before he advises him, "Ben remembered that he had asked Michael to have a GPS device installed on his car, and he was able to contact the tracking company to determine where the car was located." He forces himself to take some deep breaths, his voice choking merely over the idea of how close he had come to losing Justin. He doesn't want to upset Justin any further than he already is, even though he is still upset with him over his earlier impetuousness. He softens his tone as he quietly demands, "I still want to know exactly what was going through your head when you decided to face him alone without any way to defend yourself."

 

 

Justin nods, resigned. "I knew Hobbs was obsessed with me, Brian. I knew it was me he was really after, not you. So I guess I thought if I did what he wanted, I could convince him to release you if he had me instead."

 

 

Brian sighs. "Justin... Sunshine, that would have never worked. He would have never set me free. Don't you realize you were playing right into his hands?

 

 

Justin arches one eyebrow in question as Brian explains, "He might have been fixated on you, but he hated me for flaunting my lifestyle in his face. He would have liked nothing better than to have you watch him kill me inch by excruciating inch."

 

 

Justin nods, a little ashamed. "I wasn't thinking about that," he admits. I was only thinking about you being in danger and him holding you against your will. I couldn't think of anything else but doing whatever I could to get him to release you." He blushes, knowing now how crazy a plan that had been. Hobbs would have never listened to reason; he was beyond being able to do that.

 

 

Brian curls his hand around Justin's nape as he pulls them closer together, their foreheads touching as he whispers, "So JT was going to sacrifice himself to save Rage? In that case, I think I'm going to tell Mikey to stop filling your little blond head with all those superhero fantasies he's always conjuring up."

 

 

As he pulls back to look into Justin's expression of indignation, he can't helping smiling at little.

 

 

"Brian, I wasn't trying to be some superhero. I was scared to death about your safety and was trying to get you out of danger. If something had happened to you because of me..."

 

 

In response, Brian reaches over to caress Justin's cheek before he briefly kisses him on the lips. "Sunshine, when will you stop thinking you need to always save my ass?" he softly chides him as he gazes into his eyes and tenderly smiles at him.

 

 

Justin can't help grinning as he replies, "Well, I happen to really like your ass, and I don't want anything to happen to it."

 

 

Brian smirks. "Well, that makes sense; it is pretty damn amazing." Justin rolls his eyes as Brian sobers. "But you have to stop trying to bail me out all the time. You're hereby prohibited from putting yourself into any more danger like you did with Chris Hobbs - and with Kip Thomas."

 

 

Justin is stunned and gasps when Brian mentions Kip's name. "How...What are you talking about...?" He has trouble even formulating the words, but he can tell by Brian's expression that his mention of Kip's name isn't just a shot in the dark; somehow he knows.

 

 

Brian sighs. "Did you really think I would never find out about that? Well, I did."

 

 

"But...How?"

 

 

Brian shakes his head. "It doesn't matter how I found out. But again, Justin, what were you thinking? You could have really gotten hurt - or worse." Brian can't disguise his annoyance. Justin seems to have a stubborn, reckless streak where his safety is concerned. He has to make it clear to him that going forward this has to stop. He can't keep going crazy with worry every time Justin tries to play hero for him.

 

 

"I had to do something," Justin insists. "He was a liar and was trying to destroy the success that you had worked so hard to achieve. I couldn't let him do that...And no one else seemed to be willing to intervene."

 

 

"Justin, I appreciate what you did for me. You saved my ass - and my job. But at what cost? If something had happened to you, I would have never forgiven myself." He lets out a ragged breath. "Promise me that you will not do this anymore. Going forward, whenever we have a problem, we will face it and solve it together. No more rash decisions, okay?" He caresses Justin's face with his fingers and smiles tenderly at him, trying to convey that he is not really angry with him. How could he not admire the bravery that Justin had demonstrated for him? "Justin, agreed?"

 

 

Justin finally nods after a few seconds, but he is insanely curious. "All right, Brian. I promise. But just how DID you find out about Kip Thomas anyway?"

 

 

Brian idly strokes Justin's hand as he reveals, "Last year, I attended an advertising banquet for Kinnetik where I accepted an award for having the best agency in the Mid-Atlantic Region. Believe it or not, that asshole was at the banquet. He was representing some agency that was based out of Chicago, I think, but I don't remember for sure now and frankly I don't care. The important part is that he cornered me in the bathroom and asked when I gave my acceptance speech if I was planning on acknowledging the blond twink that had saved my ass."

 

 

Justin's eyes widen as Brian admits, "At first I didn't want to believe what he was trying to tell me. But he was all too willing to fill me in on all the details. I think he was surprised, though, that I knew nothing about it." He draws his lips tightly together before he calmly states, "Now pay close attention to what I'm about to say, Sunshine. No more playing hero ever again. Never. No more of putting yourself in harm's way for me. Do...You...Understand?" He spoke each word slowly and enunciated it clearly, making sure that Justin realized how serious he was about this.

 

 

Justin's eyes water over how concerned Brian is. He nods as he whispers, "Yes, I understand. I will never do anything like this again without talking to you first."

 

 

Brian gazes into his eyes for a moment before he finally nods. "Good." He pauses. "Now...Tell me how that bastard wound up with my cellphone?" It was a good thing Hobbs was dead, because the lengths he went to just to put Justin in grave danger would have been enough for Brian to tear him apart, limb by limb, if something had happened to the man he loves.

 

 

"Shit!" Justin exclaims as he thinks back to what Hobbs had told him. "I'm not sure who it was, but I just remembered something! It has to be someone that works for you, because when I asked Hobbs that same question all he said was that you should 'choose your employees better.'" Justin is desperate to determine just who Brian's traitor is; perhaps the danger isn't totally over yet.

 

 

Brian's anger rises once over the thought that someone had at last indirectly helped Chris to capture Justin and hold him hostage - and inflict all those dreadful injuries on him. "So he told you someone that works for me had stolen it and given it to him?" Brian starts to think about each employee he has in his head, and he can't for the life of him think of who might have done such a despicable thing.

 

 

Justin nods sadly. "I'm sorry, Brian. But I believe that's the only thing that makes sense." He can see Brian's disappointment written all over his face and wishes it wasn't the case. But there can be no other explanation; he had to have gotten the phone somehow, and the last place it had been seen was at Kinnetik.

 

 

"But who could it be?" Brian muses aloud, puzzled. "I trust all of them implicitly." He had been quite involved with each employee's hiring process. He wracked his brain to come up with a possible suspect, but for the life of him he couldn't think of anyone working for him presently that he wouldn't trust completely. If he couldn't rely on each and every one of them, he couldn't successfully operate his business.

 

 

"You can't think of anyone?" Justin asks in disappointment, wanting desperately to find the person who had caused both of them so much anguish and pain.

 

 

Brian bites his lip in frustration as he shakes his head. "No...No one."

 

 

Justin nods in dismay. "Maybe Ted could come up with some ideas," he suggests at last.

 

 

Brian shrugs. "Maybe. He's probably wondering what's going on by now anyway. I'll give him a call." His face darkens. "One thing's for sure, though; whoever the motherfucker is that helped Hobbs, he is going to pay big time for what he did." Brian's stomach churns over the idea of an employee he trusts collaborating with someone as evil as Hobbs in an attempt to help lure Justin into a trap.

 

 

"Brian, we have to find out who it is! If he's still on the loose, even without Chris, he's still dangerous." Justin's eyes fill with worry that everything might not yet be over, even with Hobbs dead.

 

 

A muscle twitches in Brian's neck as he eyes Justin intently. "Don't worry, Sunshine. I'm going to find him, and nothing, nothing¸ is going to happen to you ever again." He sweeps Justin back into his arms as he tries to calm his fears, kissing him on the lips for a few moments before he pulls back to tell him, "I've got to tell the doctor that you're awake, call Ted and Carl to let them know what's going on, and most of all, I need to let Deb and your mom know that you're awake, too. They've been out in the waiting room down the hall ever since you were brought in earlier, and they've been worried sick about you."

 

 

Justin smiles. "I can't say that surprise me," he confesses. "Are they out there by themselves?" A part of him is still a little concerned for his friends' and family's safety.

 

 

"There're cops all over this place right now," Brian reassures him. "And besides, they're not alone. Everyone else is out there, too." He sighs apologetically. "I tried to get everybody except Jennifer and Debbie to leave, but it all fell on deaf ears." He wasn't especially looking forward to rehashing the entire, sordid adventure with everyone in the waiting room, but he suspects that is precisely what is going to happen.

 

 

Justin hesitates.

 

 

"What?" Brian asks softly, detecting an odd expression on his partner's face.

 

 

"Brian...I know I need to see Debbie and my mother to reassure them that I'm going to be okay. But for now, I just want you in here. I don't know if I can handle them right now. All the questions they're bound to have..."

 

 

"I want to be here alone with you, too, Justin," Brian whispers with a smile. "But I do have to leave for just a few minutes to call Ted and talk to the doctor." He brushes some hair away from Justin's forehead as he tells him quietly, "I know it will be a bit of an ordeal having to calm Jennifer and Debbie down. But you know it has to be done. They won't rest - and they won't budge - until they get a chance to talk to you and see for themselves that you're going to be okay."

 

 

Justin sighs heavily, resigned to his fate. "Okay. I'll talk with them. But can you tell them I don't want any visitors for too long before they come in? Tell them I'm still really tired or something," he beseeches. "That's not exactly a lie anyway. Since Debbie threatened to tear out the last remaining ball you have, too, I guess I need to do something to protect you."

 

 

Brian narrows his brow in mock anger. "What did I tell you about protecting me, Mr. Taylor?" Justin rolls his eyes as Brian grins back at him. "On the other hand, I'm pretty emotionally attached to my one remaining ball. Since Debbie has threatened to remove it, then I think I can make an exception in this case."

 

 

"Well, I'm kind of fond of that part of your anatomy, too," Justin tells him. "So I'll sacrifice my sanity temporarily to help keep you intact," he teases. "I would really miss it as much as you would." He tries to smile one of his trademark smiles at Brian, but his partner can still tell there is tenseness behind his eyes, and the smile is not as blinding as it typically is.

 

 

"Just that part?" Brian prods mischievously.

 

 

Despite his pain and his injuries, Justin licks his lips as his eyes travel down the magnificently toned body that he knows so well as he tells him, "Well, I suppose there are certain parts that would take priority. I'm pretty attached to the whole package."

 

 

"Good answer. Because I don't intend on depriving you of any part of me," Brian tells him as he lightly brushes his knuckles over Justin's face, being careful to avoid the bruises there. He tries hard not to focus on what those injuries represent, deciding instead to concentrate on the fact that Justin is alive.

 

 

"Well, I intend to make sure you keep that promise," Justin whispers with a smile; this one is more like his normal smile that lights up the room, and it fills Brian's heart with warmth; he has missed that smile desperately.

 

 

"I don't break promises, Sunshine," he murmurs as he gazes deeply into his lover's eyes, ensuring that Justin understands the deeper meaning behind his words.

 

 

"I know," is the whispered reply as they instinctively come together for another embrace and a deep kiss, their arms roaming softly over each other's bodies in reassurance that they had survived and would go ON surviving. The physical contact serves to soothe their damaged hearts and fill them with hope for their future. They know there are still some challenges they will have to face and obstacles to overcome, but for now just being in each other's arms is enough.

 

 

Brian reluctantly pulls away after a few minutes, knowing he has to fulfill his previous obligation to find the doctor, call Ted, and reassure a couple of fretful women down the hall that Justin is going to be just fine. First, though, there is one, last vital task he has to perform.

 

 

"Justin..." he whispers as he looks into the expressive, blue eyes, forcing himself not to look away.

 

 

"Yes?" Justin responds as he holds his breath, somehow realizing something important is coming. He isn't disappointed.

 

 

"I love you." Brian is amazed by how easily those words flow from his lips; but the radiant smile he receives is more than worth the momentary nervousness he had felt.

 

 

Justin's heart skips a beat. "I love you, Brian," he responds firmly as Brian smiles back at him and nods.

 

 

Brian briefly kisses the soft, coral-colored lips once more before brushing back the rebellious lock of hair that refuses to stay out of Justin's eyes. "I'll be right back," he promises him as he finally lets go of his partner's hand, instantly missing the warmth and familiarity.

 

 

"I'll be right here waiting for you," Justin tells him. "I'm not going anywhere." Brian knows there is more behind that statement than just remaining in the hospital. He knows now that Justin in back in the Pitts to stay.

 

 

Brian takes one last look at his partner before, with a smile and a nod, he turns and heads out the door, eager to take care of his errands and return to the man he loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am slowly beginning to conclude this story. I believe there will be two more chapters to go in addition to an epilogue before it's finished. 
> 
> In this chapter, I wanted to provide a possible way that Brian could have discovered the truth about Kip Thomas, another issue I felt should have been addressed on the show. I hope you liked my solution.;) As always, comments are welcomed and greatly appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be posting the next chapter soon.
> 
> Please review.:)


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